EPISODE 57: Just the Three of Us

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Show Notes

This week, Anne and Heather are joined by their newlywed producer Ryan to debrief his recent reading with psychic Frank Paris, and recap his beautiful wedding in Mexico’s wine country. Did the wedding go as planned? Did Frank’s read on Ryan hold up? Listen and find out!Be sure to follow the pod on IG!From Straw Hut Media


Straw media were better to get with. Oh Hi, everybody, welcome back.

To get it's called better together and
we talked about that. That's really

funny. RHYMES that way. Welcome
back, everybody. It is really nice

to be sitting here and had this
beautiful home. Um, I was away

for a little bit, uh,
shooting a movie called girl in the Motel,

which was unbelievable. I don't often
talk about my acting projects, let

alone watch them, but this this
this movie was called girl in the motel

and and it's coming out on in
October on lifetime and and it is a

movie about the sex trafficking industry that
is going on in which is a multibillion

dollar industry, and it's just is
just draw jaw draw dropping, is draw

dropping um of the horrors that happens
to to our our girls. and Um,

of course that is something that goes
along with everything we believe, which

is abuse has to be eradicated.
Is Very, very, Um, important

that we tell these stories. And
so to have been that. I play

a mother whose whose daughter gets kidnapped
and UH, and that and it's the

journey of her going to rescue her
child. It's based on his true story

it's it's it's very it was grueling
in the best of ways. I know

you like when I get to I
was at home trying to work, but

but what happened was on the side
part of my computer. That, yes,

that Johnny depth trial. Well,
listen, I mean obviously me that

and yes, and as our listeners
may not know, we record not well,

today we're at the house, but
we usually record from our studio which

is in the eastern Columbia building,
which is where all the Johnny Depp drama

I mean, I just hope,
doubt of the sisters devirontment of stairs.

One of the things that I don't
know. We were on the penthouse floor

for a while yes as well,
which is the floor with which the drama

and being there we got to know, Um, a lot of the people

that lived there and the drama of
Johnny and amber, really the drama of

amber, was told to us before
the trial even started by the people who

lived there. And, and I
mean this is just straight gossip and dish,

but they all talked about how unkind
she was and how I mean she

was to him. Right. Well, the entire building is set up really

to be a IT'S A it's a
it's a live work building, and so

everybody there is pretty much artists.
You get drawn into that place for a

particular reason and of course giant was
the kind of the king master of an

artist building. He lived at the
top. He had all of his friends

basically living up. They're not all
of his friends living up there, but

it was a real community of artists
and the whole floor that, I mean,

just just incredible. But one of
the things I do want to say,

if there's, if there's and and
and if I did not, but

did not follow the trial. I
respect Johnny. I loved working with him.

That was years ago. I do
not know him personally other than I

know his soul. Um, because
you can't lie that way. Um Abuse

is something that is a disease in
a culture that is spread through privacy and

secrecy and hiding the truth. There
is a bottom line, and I don't

know if this ever came up in
the trial. Bottom line you do not

have people around you who could see, witness or experience on any level what

that abuse would be, because the
whole, entire part of it is the

delapits mind closed doors. Yes,
the point you're making is that is that

if, generally speaking, abuse happens
in secrecy. So if you are in

a abuser, the chance that you
are going to rent an entire floor and

put all your friends and families around
to witness every single thing you're doing?

And her friends and family exactly?
It is the exact opposite of what the

what abuse? Number one, give
them all three to come and see what

you're doing and it doesn't have zero
percent. And also you don't go searching

for a bruce. Also, abuses
a habit. It is a pattern.

It is a perpetual and horrendous habit
that infuses and and and destroys from the

moment it enters a room. This
is it does not it's not something that

you chase after. And from what
I could hear, from what I mean

multiple every well, did you see
this? Did you see that? Did

you see you? Weren't you a
little bit star struck when you saw a

dorman the other day? Well,
I did so the Guy, the guy

that uh at the death that was
my favorite interview because they asked him and

he's just sitting there. He's so
disgruntled to be UH interviewed for the trial

and he's on television like it's like
you would think he would be starstruck.

Right. No, he was vaping
from his car, completely disgruntled, and

is he's talking. Johnny is just
dying laughing because they're like did you notice

that amber was wearing eyeliner? He's
like, I don't know. He's like,

did you notice if amber was wearing
eyeshadow? He was like, I

don't know. Did you notice if
she was wearing foundation? He's like,

I don't even know. What do
you want to ask him? And then

and then he said, so you
didn't know if she was wearing foundation,

eyeliner or blush, but you are
certain that she didn't have a black eye.

And he's like look, you know, I don't know what eyeline or

blush and foundation are, but I
certainly know what a black eye is and

she didn't have one, you know. And it was like drop, it

was like it was so fan but
you know what we're both as mothers of

sons. It's a very dangerous thing
when when somebody can accuse somebody of something

so severe like that, and I
just I mean, look, our justice

system played it out. We all
got to see it false the moments,

the moments with the rings for me
was the best when when they said she

was sitting on the on the stand, and they said was now you testified

that Johnny always wore big chunky rings
on every finger. She's like Yes,

he always wore big chunky rings on
every finger. And then they said,

was there ever a time that you
saw Johnny without those rings on his finger?

And she's like there was, I've
never seen him without and we're all

as a viewer, you're like girl, you can't see where this is going,

and she's like an idiot up there
going like always, never were they

all? And then they show the
picture of her of the night that he

she said he punched her in the
face several times and it's like a little

bruise. But and then they show
the rings that are like Sharp, like

you know, skulls, and then
they're like so you're saying that he punched

you in the face with all those
rings on and there's no cuts or scratches,

and she's like, well, I
can't be certain he was wearing the

rings that night, except for then. I mean it was like girl by

a little girl. But that's when
she lost me. That's when I'm like,

you know what, fire pants on
fire. Okay, well, I

think she unfortunately didn't get her pants
lit on fire, but she should and

she did bed. That was I
mean, can we? I mean,

I don't even know what to say
about that. That's abuse. That's abuse,

don't it just that's abuse. All
right, let's just call a spade

a spade. So, but what
I also want to sit and and and

you know what, I'm glad that
the truth came out. And, by

the way, there's no way in
hill that Johnny Depp would be on trial

suing somebody knowing that his entire life
is going to get exposed, including the

ship on his bed. Gross horrible. He would never do it. He

would never do it. He knew
what was going to come out. Don't

do that to people. Do not
falsely accuse people of something. It is

it is it destroys. I cannot
imagine how many years have just rips somebody

apart when you falsely accused him of
something. And I'm I'm glad he stood

up for himself and I'm sorry that
he had to go through that. And

if anybody hasn't seen the tourists,
you have to see it, because by

God there is a person there.
Johnny Depp, who was not only just

a human being, he's also one
of the most magnificent actors on the planet,

and he did a movie with Angela
that I just saw, and I

just want to remind everybody, like
listen, this dude is you can look

at his face and this movie away
why he did and and by God,

I mean he's just the gift that
that the gift he gives. You have

to watch some movies, the most
romantic movie in the world. So,

but one final and then we'll be
done. And then my final faith,

because that's how I did was I
I cheated and I'm doing the most harrowing

movie of My life, seven teen
hours a day, like I just working.

I was working, and then on
and podcasts, gossip, and then

on the sidelines like that. You
know, they come for you with this

stuff. They know that I want
to see it and they know about my

a d d. They being the
you know, the information, your highway,

and and then I'm just then I'm
done. Okay, so there's a

scene there and, by the way, her lawyers were are you talking about

the trial as if it's a scene? Were over her? Yeah, show

she's already like yeah, so so
in the second act. There's there's a

moment her lawyers, who couldn't be
more over her, say to Johnny,

uh so at this point, you
poured yourself a mega pint of wine.

And he, because he's such a
good actor and his timing is so right,

he just chuckles Indos a mega pint. He's like, I don't know

what a Mega Pint? Mega Pint, I poured myself a very large glass

of wine. So now I was
on the street the other day and I

saw somebody wearing a shirt that said
I'll have a mega pon, you know.

So it's like this whole thing,
and I mean pour yourself a mega

pon y'all. Anyway, it was
a disastrous thing to have happy girl screwed.

I think. I will say just
because this happens doesn't mean that the

years of pain and horror and torture
that he went through imagining that this was

a truth that people were now starting
to try to wrap his head, wrap

their heads around, whether they believed
it or not. And this is what

happens in our culture. It's not
is not guilty until proven innocent. What

happens is you're guilty and everything else
you have to suffer the ramifications of it

and then, oh good, six
years later, now you prove what we

all knew. Y'All knew you didn't
do it, Johnny, and now we'll

get hired back again. It's just
repulsive how the culture has to jump on

board with connect one last item.
When when Kate Moss came on and testify

and said how kind he was to
her and they in the trial they had

said Johnny threw her down the stairs
and she comes and testified. She goes,

I fell downstairs, Johnny came and
picked me up, carried me,

put me in bed and called for
medical attention. Oh my God, he

was. And he was never abusive
to her. He was never abusive to

his wife, I mean the mother
of his children. So anyways, a

person is an abuser. Anyway,
Johnny Depp, we well done for the

team by by fighting that fight.
ME. My God, I'm glad God

justice came. Now we're going to
take a quick break and when we come

back we have some contrasted and wide
so if you guys haven't seen the episode

of our producer Ryan with Frank Paris, you must watch that and then you'll

be up to date with what we're
about to bring you up to speed with

Ryan, our producer went to Mexico
and we're going to find out if the

wedding actually happened. It is such
great sorrow that. Why did I get

to attend Ryan's? I mean it
is so sad when work. This is

one of the things about being a
well, you know, working at just

you you've got to take the job
and Um, so I missed Ryan's wedding

and I haven't even seen a picture. But I mean that's a hard thing

to come by, let me tell
you. I mean you can maybe find

a sandscript or maybe they maybe they
etched it out in stone or something.

Did they put a time compsle in
the ground? Will have to be.

We'll have to go get it fifty
years later. But anyways, Ryan's going

to join and we would like to
Brian, because we call these the just

the two of his us, just
the three of us, and we're going

to do with just the three of
us today. This is this is just

Frank Harris gave Brian a reading and
Ryan had no idea what was about to

happen. And Frank is a psychic
healer who has the ability to go to

find what he calls the original wound, the thing that that as a that

at some point in your life had
such a profound effect on you that all

of your decisions and the things that
happened to you in your life relate back

to that. And he just has
this ability to look at a person and

see that, and that is what
Ryan. Join us for just the three

of us. We can make it
if we try, just the three of

us, you and you and I. Hi, Ryan, welcome to our

show. We were to say congratulations
on your ready. We're sorry that we

couldn't be there. I understand.
We have a present for you, though.

You do. Yeah, what do
we want? What do you want

to tell we're going to I would
never know that, would you know?

I think it's number one nightmare.
You Remember? You remember our gender,

our gender discussion. She's a she. No, I'm a Sith, since

she's a I knew I started with
an us. No, we're not going

to make out for you. That
is but we wanted to treat you and

MAG's to a weekend at the Hollywood
Roosevelt Hotel. is so great, a

little mini honeymoon. Love it.
Yeah, we thought, by the pool.

Oh, he roomed by the pool
and it's really fun there. Have

you ever been there? You can
bowl and stuff. Have a bowling alley

side and you'll be by the once. I recorded a podcast there once.

So anyways, you you picked the
weekend, let me know and it's your

station. Nobody needs a break after
wedding. To get him and we didn't

want to get him a bowl or
yeah, I love that, but we

did look at your registry and then
then then we did with I really actually

liked the registry. It was cash
or cash. That's it. That was

all it is. It was just
like a honeymoon fund. It's like what

we're doing give you. We wanted
to give you a little bit of any

fund. We're doing this. Need
you here. Just September. I'M gonna

go on a honeymoon and Spekay,
so you can go. So good,

you can go and have a couple
of nut great. Thank you. So,

so he did get married. Spoiler
right now. Okay. So,

so, oh my gosh, see, you're not going to be fine.

He's neither one of these are mine. Um. So, so when we

last left with Ryan, he had
he had had a really powerful reading with

Frank Paris, who who I think
Ryan let him speak, but I think

he was surprised, Um, by
by the reading and how deep it went.

So do you want to tell us
how you felt and then what happened

afterwards? Sure, okay. Well, let me for yeah, I had

no idea what to expect when when
I talked to Frank. I've worked with

a lot of different people in the
wellness space and a lot of times it

feels like nothing. I don't know. So I didn't really know what to

expect. I didn't know if I
was gonna expect it to like perform in

any way. So I was like, I don't know and I can't perform

right now. I don't want to
do that. So I was really shocked

when the first thing that was said
was we gotta work on your relationship with

women, and I was just like, oh, it was such a hard

thing to hear. You know,
Um, and especially so I did.

What I hadn't having said is that
that day I got a text for my

mom saying she's not coming to the
wedding. So I know did that.

That happened after, happened before,
it happened before and you and then I

heard the and then I heard the
thing from Frank. And so ever since

it was, you know, ever
since that call, I was like can

I get my mom? My sister
was trying to help get her to come

to the wedding and all this stuff. It seemed like it was all gonna

Happen and work out, and then
I got text like from her again,

like three or four days before,
saying just no, not coming and I

can't come. She she blamed it
on the whole Mexico things. Scared of

Mexico. I'd Um. I think
it plays maybe a role, but it's

mostly she doesn't want to think that. She doesn't want to, you know,

see or be around my dad because
they I think she just feels guilty

or of things that happened. So
anyway, so that's my news. Wow,

wow, I mean there was,
there is. There was a moment

where I was afraid that he was
going to say that Maggs is all wrong

and you know, I was terrified. I was like and then and he

sat the complete opposite. He said
how wonderful and how much she loves you

and what a beautiful soul she is
and that they were going to have children

and all this stuff. So so
let's talk about mags's reaction to it?

All right, well, I told
her about it. I don't know if

she's she's like, I need to
hear this. I don't know if she's

listened to it yet. Okay,
so it didn't become a thing where you're

like listen, I need, I
need to watch this with you. Do

I did tell her that. I
did tell her about it and I told

her I was like surprised by what
the person said, and she was like,

Oh, I forgot to listen,
but she would have told me if

she had listened to it. So
I don't think she has it. I

think she's forgotten. So I should
remind her, I guess, because I

think, well, there was a
lot going on for her at that act

moment. I mean, yeah,
it was absolutely and the most stressful time

of my life. That whole thing
was insane, absolutely insane. Um,

but anyway, so, yeah,
I don't know. I haven't talked to

her about you haven't told her about
the children. I did. I asked

her about the children. I asked
if if there are twins in her family

and she said, I think on
one side of family. So yeah,

so, Um, I don't know. So that's still a possibility to well,

well, we mean I when I
heard from frank, and of course

what you would hear from frank would
be. Well, I mean I can't

imagine because I know the layers that
go after B B speaks to you,

but there was clearly a Um.
I mean I mean clearly the relationship with

your mother has been one that has
has been a UM boundary breaker. Yeah,

yeah, it's been a tough relationship. Is there a way that you

could describe it to us that wouldn't
make you feel that you were exposing too

much? Does that feel like an
unsafe place? No, no, no,

it's fine. So when I was
I thought it was twenty one,

but then I talked to my sister. So I was a couple of years

after I maybe it was twenty two
or twenty three. I got a call

from my mom. She called me
crying, saying that she had an affair

and she's leaving and she had she
I told my dad this morning, that

morning and she was about to tell
my sister. My sister is ten years

younger than me, and they're trying
to wake her up and tell her together

and then and that's over. And
I had a really hard time understanding.

She was always the nurturing one to
me and always like the person that I

could go to when I had any
issues or anything like that. I was

more like afraid of my dad,
you know, he's the father figure kind

of person. Those roles have completely
changed now, but Um, so I

remember after that call I was just
like, are you okay? Is Everything

fine, like, how are you? And Anyway, slowly it developed where

I just got angry. I just
got mad and I saw what, you

know, my dad's suffering and I
was just upset by the way she chose

to go about this whole thing and
I was just was just just got pissed.

I didn't talk to her for a
few years. Slowly started talking again

and they still haven't. They've not
seen each other since since that. I'm

you know, I'm thirty six now, so I don't know how long that's

been. You know, their fifteen, thirteen years, something like that.

You know, how long were they
married when that happened? One years?

Yeah, yeah, and Um,
you know, that's it. They both

she remarried. She's remarried. He's
been in a relationship now for nine my

dad happy. They're both like living
their best lives. Um, I mean,

at least that's what it seemed.
It makes me think that because of

this whole wedding situation, um,
that she's still got some ship she's dealing

with, even though right now she's
blaming it on the whole web not coming

because of Mexico. So what has
your relationship been? How have you had

any? And also, I'm thinking
about your sister too. Did your sister

and you bond over this? Uh, it was tough because I was already

out of the House and I felt
really guilty because she was stuck in the

middle of it and getting tossed back
and forth between the two of them.

As soon as she turned eighteen,
she got out as quick as possible because

it was just to mess and they
were just putting every you know, making

her make these decisions like who do
you want to be with? Who Do

you want to choose? All this
crap, you know, and that's really

hard, you know. And so
if I was three, she was,

you know, twelve or thirteen,
just such a hard age to like you're

already dealing with middle school and high
school and anyway, yeah, so,

I mean we she I actually got
really mad at her because she took my

mom's side, you know, because
my mom is the very she's very nurturing,

you know, and she pretends like
nothing's of are wrong. And so

my sister, she made my sister
feel that way, I think, you

know. And so it was and
my dad was just sad and angry.

You were out of the House and
I was gone. Yeah, so I

had her and I thought about it
because I was just like, why are

you? I just didn't understand,
you know, I just didn't understand.

I feel like I understand a lot
better now. And and now she is

an adult and she is she still
with the man that she left your father

for? No, no, no, so, yeah, that that was

just a thing, I guess.
I guess it happened a few times.

Um, she would go and do
her thing and come back and I don't

know. My Mom said that she
was planning on she had wanted to leave

the relationship, but she was waiting
till my sister got out of college,

which I think is also a really
crazy thing to to think, you know,

that she was going to try to
make this work. People on,

and I just anyway, yeah,
well, and so there's still a healing

that knees tapp in between you and
your mother. It sounds like yeah,

yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, she she left me,

uh after the wedding and a few
days later she called, left me a

voicemail and I have have it on
my phone. I still haven't listen to

it. I don't I'm not ready
to listen to it. I can,

I can. Can we listen to
it right now? You have two supporters

here and we can support this.
I don't know, I don't know.

I not only I can relate to
that because I don't know if I've ever

talked about this with you, but
when I um, when I when my

parents were married for thirty five years
and I was actually pregnant with my daughter

and Um my dad left my mom
and it it was, I say to

this day, it was the worst
thing that ever happened to me in my

entire life. It's harder than my
own divorce, their divorce, and I

was a grown person and I remember
just being so surprised. Why is this

so horrible? Why is this so
painful? Why is this so life altering

shattering? And it was and I
did not speak to my dad. I

spoke to him, but we didn't
really have it took a decade for me

to get over it, and I
got over it by, you know,

talking to a friend of mine saying
like, you know, they're just people,

like they're flawed people and we don't
often look at our parents like they're

just actually humans. That a fraud. And Yeah, she fucked up and

she but it doesn't it and and
then it started to happen for me when

I was in my own marriage and
I was like, Oh, this isn't

working, and I started thinking about
God, picturing leaving, and when I

was picturing lead because because I also
took it as my dad not loving the

family, and and and and if
he only loved the family that much,

he would stay. And it wasn't
until I was in the position of kind

of wanting out that I realized I
don't love my kids any less by wanting

out of this. I not,
not, not even a little bit.

I just can't do it. And
so, but my parents to this day

are still not in the same room
together ever, and it ruins holidays,

it ruins you know, I have
to pick who comes to the baptism,

who comes to the graduations, who
comes to about this wedding. Like I

told Max I'm like, I don't
want to invite family at all, like

can't we just do it with friends, you know, like can we not

have to deal with it, because
I knew this was going to be a

thing and uh, and then she's
like, I can't, I can't not

invite my friend. She was like, I have to in family, and

I was like, okay, I
can't. If you invite years, I

have to invite mine. which is
why it's so important for divorced parents to

which is why I've killed myself literally, well, not literally, because I'm

still alive, but I have worked
very hard to keep a relationship with my

ex with the sole goal that we
can be in the same room together.

Yeah, that's I mean, I
wish that that could happen and and maybe,

you know, in another ten years. I have no idea, but

I mean my parents had me when
they were eighteen, nineteen, you know,

and so like I remember at one
point, you know, in my

in my mid to late twenties,
thinking like Oh ship, they had like

a teenager at this point, you
know, you know, and I was

just like that's wild. I can't
imagine. I'm still trying to figure out

my lifeld was your mom when she
left your dad. Um. So she's

like, you know, nineteen years
younger than me, so don't make me

do math. So I mean she's
nineteen years old older. Yeah, she

was like, yeah, well,
that's about when it happens. Yeah,

that's about when you can't do it
anymore. It is so it's so horrifying.

You know my but James, I
was never married to him, but

James Still says to me, he
will still text me. You destroyed this

family, you did this to us. You did this, you made this

happen. It's like I did not
leave atlas in homer. I left you

the adult relationship wasn't working. I
and I think it's really horrendous when when

parents ever even say this in front
of their children, but the children feeling.

Children feel it, and I,
you know, I go over there

and I bring them things that I
sit down and watch movies with them to

do to try to massage the part
of the Soul in the child. My

my boy was to say this is
gonna be okay, but it is so

incredibly confusing to children and I'm amazed, I always say that I was amazed

by you being so upset. This
is one thing that you said you wish

your dad would have stayed with your
mom. I wish my dad would have

stayed with my mom and had a
side piece. That's what because she would,

because I I think that you know, and and look now I see

my it didn't turn out as well
for my my mother was, you know,

didn't see it coming and and has
had a harder time. You know,

my dad is living his best life
Um and my mom is, you

know, she's she's fine, she
has friends, she met somebody that was

wonderful and then he died of cancer. So that was horrible. So it's

a little, it's, it's it's
you know, but I still stand by

that's the worst thing that ever that. It was. It was devastating to

me and I was thirty. What
do you see on the other side of

it, Ryan? What do you
see? What do you how do you

see a healing? Do you see
the other side? Do you see the

flip side where this emotion give me
turned into something that that? Why do

you see the vision of the future
being with your mom? Oh, with

my mom? Yeah, I mean, I'm not sure. I I've never

seen my dad happier and so like
that makes me feel so good. Yeah,

yeah, and you know, he
had to go through a whole horrible

it was. I've never seen him
cry before like that. was watching him,

watching him into my arms and hugged
me when all this is going down,

was one of the most insane things
of my life, you know.

and Um, but now he is, he's Gon. He's so far over

it and he just doesn't care and
he would have no problem seeing her,

even though he was the one that
was really was hurt. That's why I

think it's a guilty thing. And
I don't know. You know, I

thought that my mom and I were
fine. I was still, I don't

know, I was still very bothered
by the whole situation. I don't necessarily

know how to even address it with
her. She still blames my dad for

certain things when I see her Um, which I don't understand that either.

You know, somebody doesn't have it. I mean just for perspective, you

don't go and have an affair because
everything is working out shortly in your marriage.

Obviously they there. Yeah, obviously
there was some kind of communication issues

in the relationship, and that doesn't
mean to her putting that and that I'm

sure she's trying to balance it out. But if you, if you were

to see into the but into the
wound here or the original wound that is

going to continue with her, how
do you think that could be? How

do you think that could be flipped? I don't no, I mean I

think that I just need to like, I just need to forgive her and

some kind of I mean that literally. That's what I did, that's what

I ended up doing, because you
know, you, you you life is

there's gonna you know she's not going
to be here forever and and you know

people are imperfect, and I think
the thing to just really stick is that

it. She didn't do it because
she loves you and your sister any less.

She did it because she just couldn't
do it anymore. And I bet

you if you asked her, she
would have handled it differently too. But

where, when you're in that moment, you just it just felt like her.

Her not coming to the wedding last
minute also felt like a very similar,

course, similar job. Yes,
yes, of course it feels like

thet back a lot of those same
feelings for me, of course, and

also rejecting you, not bringing you
into the equation, not not you were

twenty two year old man. You
could have a road. Just want you

were an adult enough for her to
have shared this information with you. Made

you feel cared for in that or
at least a part of the a part

of the dynamic that she was,
that she was considering. You didn't feel

considered, I guess so. So
people are people oftentimes do the best they

can and are flawed and you just
like there's certain there's family, there's some

that are more family, but there's
family where you just have to accept them

for not being exactly who you want
them to be. And and well,

the facts of the better reason,
don't decide not to be disappointed anymore.

It's already happened. And decided not
to be disappointed in them anymore because they

are. That's a decision to make, that decision to make. Somebody told

me something really interesting about forgiveness,
because forgiveness, uh, you know,

like everybody like, yeah, I
gotta forgive my mom light. Um,

no, I don't. Actually,
I don't want to. I'm not interested.

I don't you know what I am. AM. No, yours is

a difference. I mean, I
don't know, and I understand that,

but, but, but what came
of it? It was a very interesting

thing. That forgiveness is really about
forgiving yourself man, and I was like,

what do I have to forgive myself? All, all of the my

inability to be able to handle,
to deal with the pain too. Can

we really can we really address our
attachment to pain in a situation and say,

I forgive myself for being in that
pain and not knowing how to get

out of it, but I forgive
myself now I can accept what has happened.

I can tell the truth about my
story, which is this is the

first badge of honor. By being
able to move on, you can now

give that story to the gods.
You shared it, that story with your

mom is something that you gave to
others to care for. Now, being

able to look at it and say, okay, I can actively participate in

a choice to move forward. That's
what we do and better together. That

is a part of the practice.
I actively participate in taking care of my

feelings and saying I don't need to
live with this anymore. But I can

forgive myself for the things that were
so confusing and hurtful and painful that might

have adjusted my behavior with others,
and I accept that for myself and I'm

going to move on from here.
Yeah, I think you're right. I

think that's exactly right. That's right. So, Ryan, do you forgive

yourself? You didn't do anything.
I'm just to explain. Ryan. Do

you forgive yourself? Uh, I
think once I listened to that voicemail,

maybe then you yourself. After you
can forgive right now. Can I give

you a can I give you?
I give you a hant. You can

forgive yourself right now and then you
can listen to voicemail and you might be

able to listen to voicemail with with
bears that that might hear it. But

again, what I say is don't
be disappointed because if you put yourself in

that position for your mom to disappoint
you, that voicemail is not going to

say what you wanted to say.
You're going to be disappointed again. That's

exactly right. Well, that's what
I've been that's what that's what I feel

like. Is exactly what happened,
is that I I set myself up for

disappointment. Well, you're doing that
right now. You're living in the fear

of it rather than in your presence
of all. But because you are having

that be the thing that is overpowering
you, rather than you being in the

center, saying I'm just a little
angry and I don't want to hear her.

So that that's basically I get that. I get that. I don't

think I already know. I mean, now that I see this pattern,

you know, I just feel like
I know what to expect. I don't

like it right, but at least
I know that's what's going to I know

I know what to expect in the
future. But it's possible that she did

both of those things that she did, leaving in the way that she did,

kind of running away and not coming
to the wedding. It's because she's,

like we've discussed that, you and
I are both, which is somebody

who does not like conflict. That
is clearly she does not. Yeah,

both of my parents act. They
try to avoid yeah, that. Yeah,

that's why I think it's an excuse, because she did not say this

stuff about Mexico, I mean about
why, why she's not coming to wedding

exactly. She only said she's scared
of Mexico, you know, even though

you know, we had people driving
her and all this stuff, and you

know. Yeah, so, no, that's I agree. Yeah, so

we all learned from that and it
doesn't work, we're all gonna get I'm

gonna I'm working on that. I
have no problem with the good fronting conflict,

I know. So today we were
going to actively participate in something with

Ryan here, and we're gonna look
at our lives and we're gonna say,

listen, I'm going to take a
look at my emotions, I'm going to

I'm going to seek getting out of
the pain of my life and the behaviors

that I have had around it,
look at it with clarity and truth and

move forward in loving kindness. Thank
you for being on our show today,

Ryan, thanks for having me again. Better together, and a big,

big thanks to our better together team, Ryan Tillotson, Silvana, Alcohola,

Daniel Ferrara and, of course,
and in Heather. If you haven't already,

please subscribe on whatever device or platform
you're listening to this on and,

as always, see you next week.
Better Together w/ Anne Heche and Heather Duffy
Anne Heche's BETTER TOGETHER w/ Anne & Heather is a space where guests introduce us to the person that makes them better. For me, that's my friend, Heather, and t... View More




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