EPISODE 44: Release Yourself w/ Derek Warburton

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Show Notes

This week Anne and Heather are joined by the always fabulous and in fashion, Derek Warburton. They discuss exactly how he got to be so fabulous and the profound lessons he learned along the way. Listen to the ways Derek has turned trauma and suffering into forgiveness, joy, and freedom; and his mission to pass it on.

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Straut media with better dig with some
and his hier loco act better together.

We are giggling already today because of
the guests that is on the air with

us, visitor Derek Warburton, our
friend and Goobu Mester. We are going

to get deeper into the love that
we share with this van. Heather,

take it away. Today we have
Derek Warburton. He is a media entrepreneur,

celebrity fashion stylist, philanthropist and recently
named editor in chief of British thoughts

magazine. Breaking news here is that
he's on the verge of launching a new

magazine, but I'll wait to let
him give us the big reveal on that

one. Derek has a long history
and media, fashion and giving back to

his community. He has commented on
celebrity fashion and provided style advice during appearances

on extra, dateline, good day, New York, Huff Post live,

NBCCBS, ABC and Fox. He's
even appeared on the real housewives of New

York City. And Two thousand and
twenty he made his acting debut in the

series the salon executive produced by Kelsey
Grammar, and just recently in two thousand

and twenty one, he was in
the feature film Sarah Ghetto with Eric Roberts.

Derek is a style ambassador to too
many brands and charities to name,

but we're singling out is that he
was honor with the style Ambassadorship to the

city of Los Angeles by the California
State Assembly for his work with the homeless.

We first met Derek when and did
the cover of his magazine, Mr

Warburton. The truth is that we
have been inseparable ever since and if anybody's

ever listened to our podcast, they
know who Derek Warburton is because we talked

about him all the time. So
you might as well meet him here today.

Welcome. Thank you. Such an
honor to be here. It's such

an honor to be here, and
you know I demanded the wine because I

can't do girls day without wine.
Let the cheers and when I listen to

that, Derek, I just want
to say it's it says to me you're

a renaissance man when you hear about
human being who has done so much,

committed so much to themselves, committed
so much the arts, committed so much

to other people's arts and came from
where you came from. I think we

would first of all like to say
congratulations. Thank you. Oh my God,

I'm being a awesome I'm being awesome. Thanks so much, and I

have and I know that you your
your dedication and passion, not only with

the homeless, but also in the
support of so many other organizations that help

people. Where did that come from? My own life? Yeah, she

be honest. Yeah, you know, you and I, I think,

have really connected because of our childhood's
and how difficult it was. And looked

at me. I had that Peter
Pizzoli incident. Oh, oh my gosh.

Okay, first of all, girls, girl by I know, rest

problems, right, you know what
I mean. Here's what Oh, that's

right, that's is gonna bring up
there. I really I was gonna say

it Derek, and then I was
I oh no, I thought with Derek

he won't. Well, I only
I had high my gosh. Okay,

so I have a philosophy on life
actually, and then this is the perfect

time to come in and make you
feel better about yourself, because that's what

I do. People drugs us.
I think that in a huge part of

my story, I think a lot, a lot of your story, is

that some of US suffer a lot
in the beginning, some of US suffer

a lot at the end and some
of US suffer a little bit every single

day. That's why I never judge
anyone's pain, including your Peter pizzoli pain.

Oh my God, they use Oh
yeah, well, I did show

up, so that's exactly what's gonna
happened. Watch out, guys, at

will be but I think it's really
important for the human condition that we all

really realize that all of us go
through the same things. It's just a

different times in our lives and in
different ways. You know, I suffered

a lot in the beginning. You
suffered a lot in the beginning, but

then you get through it and if
you work through it, which hope I

pray for people, they can,
I know I have, and then the

rest of your life can be joy
and love and light and you're able to

do for others that you know people
did for me. You know, when

I was a kid I was in
this forest fire, even when I was

homeless. So you can imagine that's
a double way me. Well, running

from my life things that I want
to buy. Why? I want to

let the audience know here there is
some we are going to talk about some

really tough stuff today, and and
and because it is a celebration of where

you come from and what we like
to do on better together, support people

telling the truth of their stories,
so that we can help people be okay

with sharing theirs. So when you
hear something in a sentence like this is

something that I've learned in my life, you say, well, when I

was homeless, and then I was
in a forest fire, and then and

in the stories, I just want
to give people a moment to go.

Let's hear your story and but you
we're going to get a moment to have

to relax with it, because it's
some tough stuff and we're talking about your

tough stuff so that other people feel
the freedom to get on the side of

joy that you're on and speaking about. And that's that's one of the main

reasons we started this show. That
was it so that we could talk about

things like this. Like you look
at Derek and he's fabulous. Mystery is

actually Derek Fabulous right, and has
created this incredible life for himself, but

it wasn't easy to get there.
And you know, you you could not

talk about that and not let other
people do and the fact that you were

so open with where you came from
and how you got here. I think

is really an inspiration to anybody listening. Yes, it's going through something or

things. How can I get to
this place? How can I get to

the joy you when you talk to
me? You just spoke about me.

Yes, I suffer. Yes,
I did when I'm as a kid,

but I do feel like I am
a little bit every day. So if

a Telis Day, we only way, yes, the only way to find

pure love, pure humanity, pure
selflessness, and so and also, you

know, sometimes I'm selfish and you
have, you have to be selfish,

and selfish is not a bad word. People use it in a droggatory sense,

but selfish, honey, is sometimes
the only way to win. Well,

I'm going to put a pinion that
because he says selfish, but he

did arrive today with gifts for both
of us, which I am I am

wearing. I of anybody can so
my God. But I do want to

say when you, when you talk
about being selfish, I I would say

that you are the probably the number
one person who balances out that selfish with

the with self less. Well,
I think that the reason he you say

that too, is that I think
it's really important. It's almost like that,

you know that analogy when you're in
an airplane and you put the Air

Mask on to save yourself, so
that you can save either. No,

but you don't take care of yourself
exactly back no, it's about your seals

care and you know, like the
but that's why I don't think being selfish

is a bad word. So many
people think of par way, but if

you don't love yourself enough to love
others, you never can. And that

was somethings that I got to concentrated
on. You know, it's like,

you know, we've talked about this
in the past and for people that don't

know me, you know I was
in a very terrible situation with my biological

mother. At ten years old,
my parents get a divorce and she met

a partner that was very abusive and
it was tough for a long time.

And then that female, a woman
heart. Yes, she met a woman

and and it was just it was
really abusive and really difficult and you know,

at fifteen years old I was faced
with suicide. Yeah, or choose

me, and I chose me.
I've always chose me, because no one

else would at that time. Yes, I have you know, and you

know that. You know that very
well. That takes so much self awareness.

How do you feel like you've found
that at fifteen and understanding that your

choice was either I'm going to do
this for myself or nobody? Nobody,

because I because I funny enough,
which is how my career happened. I

lived in a fantasy world because that
was my escape, you know, and

I've done so much work with gay
youth and and use at risk and I

tell them all the same thing.
Create a world for yourself, yes,

and then go get it. And
I did that and I, wow,

stayed alive so I could be me
now. Wow, and I love myself

enough to say that. And because
you had the purpose in the destination.

Another thing that we like to talk
about is being able to have that intent

in your life and look at the
thing that you're going for. I think

a lot of children who live in
in a an abusive environment, and what

I mean by that is a place
where you are mistreated, where things are

going in that feel bad to you. Okay, it's not. We all

have different there are all different ways
that things feel bad when you're a kid.

But and everybody has their own release
plan. And often it's a separation

or delineation of another entity, whether
it's your own identity or a purpose and

a place that you see yourself going. And I want to encourage that in

those that may be feeling, whether
the're their adults or kids right now,

to say I wait, I can
survive if I create a place that I

know I can get to and when
I listen to things that encourage me to

know that I can get on the
other side. I'm doing better than you

and I were, Derek. We
didn't know there wasn't something on the other

side going right, you're going to
make it, but we are those people

who say, you know what,
are the other one, I think,

make it a way that I saved
an enormous amount of money in my life.

This is kind of a quirky story, but I would go to therapy.

They're like, you need to be
in therapy. Well, I'd go

to therapy and they would say to
me, okay, tell me all your

problems. If I was like we're
well, well, first of all,

I don't have that. We can't
afford that, you know, because this

is gonna be an endless store.
But you know, they were like,

well, how do you deal with
your problems, and I said I put

everything in a box. HMM,
mentally, because when we're faced with all

these issues at one time, that's
overwhelming. You can't deal with them.

You know what that is? Scheduling
your worry exactly. Oh yeah, right,

okay, that is that exactly.
Scared, doctor schedule. You're worried.

And so I can't do everything at
once. None of us can.

And I've been able to build my
life off of situations where I was like,

that can't happen right now because I'm
in the middle of this. And

then when you have the time or
the wherewithal of the capacity, because,

sorry, I mean living everyday life
anywhere, it takes a lot of mental

capacity. We know just getting by, especially now, and so you have

to be able to put things aside
and then you open that door when it's

time. And you know, a
lot of the things in my own life

I will say to myself, Hey, this is a fact about you.

How do you want to move forward
with that fact? Wow, you know,

and because we all have things about
ourselves that we want to change.

You know, I've had major weight
things my whole life about food and just

like a bad relationship with food and
bad relationship with my way and which which

created self consciousness. And so I
had to ask myself, why are you

here? What happened to you that
this made you became this way, where

you're so strong and you know you're
a beautiful man. You know it.

So what is this? Yeah,
where's the gap? And you have to

be able to say that to yourself, which so many people don't have the

self awareness. And that's why I
tell everyone to look in the mirror every

single morning and say to themselves,
I love you for who you are.

Well, that's the takeaway. Right
here. I'm better together. Well,

there's a clip, honey, I'm
done all right. But I do think

the part of the lack of encouragement
for somebody to be able to have that

kind of strength, the darker the
deeper that the wounds go. It's there's

so much garbage in the way,
there's so much that they don't want there,

that it's very difficult to see the
other side. And yes, and

so what we what? Why?
I and I'm going to keep asking you

about your story. The reason we
tell stories to get it out of our

system. We have in telling our
story. We understand it's not ours,

it's the story that we were born
into. That's that last name story,

and the darker gets, the more
difficulty just shine light on. And so

what we like to encourage is tell
the truth about the facts of your life.

Say it to yourself, hopefully a
friend, if you're lucky enough to

have heather in your life, where
you can go. This is the darkest

I get. This is what happened
to me and I'm lucky to get on

the other side and with the encouragement
you can. But I think that the

first steps is really in whether you're
writing it, telling it, showing it,

telling, getting it out of you. I allows you to be able

to look more clearly at yourself and
who you are, which is when we

begin the first name story. But
but I want to go back to when

you were fifteen. Can we go
back to that when we come back after

ring and we're back. I think
we though was a very light come back

after all of this. We're back, we're here, we're talking with Derek

worser, burtons and and we kind
of want to hear the story about the

struggles that he went through in his
life and how that brought him to where

he is now and how that brought
him to have such a strong sense of

social responsibility as well as being Derek
Fabulous. Yeah, so it was kind

of around fifteen. Were you was? Was that the catalyst? Was it

was a little younger we I was
with my biological mother, who, I

just want to preface this, I've
nothing but respect for, because she did

the best she could. I'm not
angry at all, as a matter of

fact, and I know that's a
greater your's idea. You, Shah,

would interest think a lot of people
would like to know you feel about when

you were fifteen. No, yeah, I felt differently, but yeah,

it's okay. I was also a
child. That's exactly right. And also,

I will it's been and I will
admit I was in survival mode.

Yeah, because it was, you
know, I we're I'm living in the

woods, there's no sewer, I'm
digging it. where. Where were you

in? In Florida, okay,
and up Pearson, the firm capital of

America. UMMM, not for us. So a little gay, but a

little gay, but in the firm
capital of America. You know, that

went well at that time, and
that time in the early S, you

know, in the early S.
no, and it was just it.

I think what made it difficult was
because there was just nothing I could do,

and then I was lying to my
biology, to my dad, so

and so. You A, you, you're you were living with your mother

when your mom and Dad separated and
your dad went and he remarried. Is

that correct? Yes, so is
my mom. I love her. Yes,

I'm very tight with her. But
they were your biggest fan as a

matter of fact, I'll remember it. Christmas. We talked to him,

I believe me. What are you
talking about? A love the night drunk.

That's the SN I've ever gotten in
my life. That is true,

but is like Carmel, corn and
in and also like, yes, fabulous,

it was fabulous. As we move
up, it's a white trash mix

up, is what it's called.
And you've got the best snacks ever.

Did I hate that? Yea,
he has amazing. I remember, yes,

crackers and yeah, back to my
mom. Is a an amazing so

snack make. But you kept from
your father and mother. My father and

my stepmom had no, no what. Not One in my family had a

clue. You're living situation as bad
as though as I. Why? No,

why did you keep that because it
was just how they operated. You

know, I can't say you know
what their mindset was, and I think

it was just a lot of tug
of war between my biological mother and my

father, and I was very much
a possession, hmm, and it was

that no, you'll never get him
kind of situation. And this one on

from ten to fifteen. Really well, unless be honest about abuse. I

mean one of the things, one
of its tenants, is that you hide

it. And yes, there it
or a caretaker or a whoever it,

whoever it is that is doing the
wrong to each child. Their main goal

is to keep it private, secret
and threatening if you reveal it, and

I so we are very intimidated as
abused children to say or Secople, we're

doing bud here. Long her own
father. I think that you've talked about

this a lot. Is that for
whatever reason, because it shouldn't be,

because it's not your fault. There's
an element of shame where you go to

launch your fault because you cannot imagine
that a world says that you're being loved

but you're being so much treated.
So the world doesn't make any sense to

you, which is why people escape
themselves. Ye, to try to make

sense of why something is being told
but the actions upon it are so delivering

the opposite message. And also I'm
being physically harmed. So in a lot

of circumstances, whether it's mentor or
physical, it doesn't matter what goes in.

That feels bad. But the but
the isolation of it and the threat

of it is is very much article. The system of a relation is very

real, you know. And yes, I was not physically abused, used

at that point. There were,
there are other instances in the past before

that, but in that case it
was just I was not. That's racing

what they meant. Yeah, it's
a mystery something that goes into you.

That feels bad because if we had
the choice, when we think about our

empowerment, we certainly wouldn't let something
in. That feels bad. But because

we're children, were vulnerable and we
don't know ether option. Yes, we

think that this is the life that
is, but it doesn't make any sense

because when we look at other kids, that's not exactly the way they're feeling

or thinking. They don't look like
us. They're not hiding. So we

have to hide because we don't feel
familiar and that creates more sadly. So.

So, as far as the fire
is concerned, we had been homeless

for months and months already. And
okay, so why are you living?

I'm sorry, Dacy, we're sitting. So we are. I was in

Florida in the ways, in the
woods. Did you go to a cabin?

I went to know. It was
just you were just kind of tense.

Ten. It was ten, you
were. It was. It was

the family deal. We're basically camping. Yes, no, there was no.

No, I dug it, you
know, and it was like and

there was no, nothing. There
was nothing, no, no electric zero,

nothing. Yeah, it was like
water and flashlight. Where do you

shower? We didn't. Just it
was yes, you know, washes all,

try to figure out the rain water
hun basically, you know, are

like they would go somewhere to a
camping ground or camper, sorry, and

fill water jugs and whatever. Yeah, but but anyway. So within all

of this, there's a fire and
I'm there alone and her partner was burning

trash and it just the WIB came. You know, it was an accident,

it wasn't anything, but of course
I was blamed. When everyone came

back and of course there's nothing left. You know, and it was.

I was it was a tough situation. Everything I had was gone. And

so and by your by having some. I know where you come but my

mean it will because when you when
you're saying nothing, the things that you

have are the things that are things
that maybe you found on a school playground,

like you have a thing that's like
a spin top there or something,

and you found it and then you
you're you're keeping it, trying to keep

something, anything that's yours. But
yeah, that's melted and gone to it's

not as if there were plentiful place
anything you care about. Yeah, and

so you know, when all of
this happened and everyone came back, of

course I'm blamed for it. And
then there was the program that came that

brought close and then defended me.
It was from the Fire Department and they

defended me and they were like no, no, you burn trash, that

was you. Oh my God,
Damn, and of course I was just

thank you, thank you, but
but also really inserted, I'd imagine,

because they came like Oh, yeah, and she's I have liked. I

was talking about the partner. I
wasn't talking about your mother. Yeah,

no, and I will say with
my mother and I never want to say

that she was abusive. She allowed
it. That's right, she was were

and that's just as bad. Sorry, I know was. You got that

in coming. You don't choose someone
over your own child. So it's just

don't. And she did, and
I but that. But that's what made

the break easier because when I left, I have not seen her since that

day. She still with your mother. No, it's a matter of fact.

That's another very long story. That
cause is going to go in a

book that I'm going to write next
year. Hell, yeah, yeah,

because it was. It's so involved
and so mentally deep that. But oddly,

the deeper you go and abuse,
the hiring rise right, because your

greatness can come from this, because
when you decide, it's done, honey,

it's done for real and you're done. Well, YOU'RE gonna go,

you know, and it's just my
lot in life and what I try to

do telling stories. Is a storyteller, whether however I'm telling them, you

know, whether through my magazines or
through community service or however else I can

get the word out. It's so
important to make decisions to go. You

know, when I left this situation
at fifteen, I forgave her at twenty

five. Yeah, but I was
like and she was trying to get back

in and pull all the same stunts
and I was like, oh, honey,

it didn't work at fifteen, it
will not work it. Well,

if why did I less? Bless
you. Goodbye. I went back to

my father and what happened? Can
you we can you talk to us about

yeah, it was that interaction.
You know, it's funny because my father's

a really difficult guy but at his
heart the best guy, hmm. And

frankly, he saved my life was
he allowed me to come home and my

entire family was there and I'll never
forget it. So, no matter how

difficult he is or social stuff or
whatever he is, he's I always,

always will say that he saved my
life. Can I really conversation that you

had with him before you I I
sure did. I was I had gone

home for vacation and had the best
time, and you have to understand at

the time school was my savior because
I had somewhere to go, yes,

and I thrived straight a student.
I was really good at school. I

was singing, I was doing all
different things. I was actually in the

ROTC believe it are not very funny. Oh No, I had to wear

a uniform every single day, probably
l every day. You know, I

a little so you know, because
we had a fashion program at the school

and I wasn't allowed because I had
to be in the military. Did you

make the sequence? I don't know. I sure did. Our land shore

did. No, I wor sequent
underwear. No, I'm just kidding.

So I you know. I remember
going on vacation then coming back and when

I get off the plane it's her
partner. They're waiting for me with her

partner's parents, who I had a
mixed relationship with, and I couldn't get

off the plane. I was bawling. Wait a minute, I don't understand

this time like you were getting off
a plane to go. I am gone

on vacation back home to see my
father, see your father, and came

back and then the and then I
said, woman that your mother was involved

with met you coming off the plane. Yes, that must have been a

monster you didn't want to confront.
Wow, it was such a moment for

me and I cried all the way
home and then I went to my dear

friend's house down the street and I
called my father and I said, you

get me out of here within a
day or I'm going to commit suicide.

Wow, and then what I did? I ended up. He's like done,

and I went home. He called
my mother, I went to bed

and I didn't get out of bed
until for three days, until I got

on that plane, and I've not
seen her since that day. And she

said to me getting on the plane, I'll never forget this, and this

is good segue to your commercial break. Yes, she said to me,

are you going to say goodbye to
her? And I said like hell,

and I got all the plane and
bone. That a close and it was

done. I like a chap for
you to say good bye on her right

now. Well, is that why
you're you're famous. I'm but the thing

that you say the most, that
is stuck with me is girl by,

Girl Bye. Yeah, girl bye
girls. So this is what I have

to say to you, girl by. Let me come back the future,

my draw girl, and we're back
basically. Yea. But one of the

things that I think is really important
for our listeners to take away from from

your story. There's so many things, but the one that jumps out to

me is is your story of forgiveness
and that it and that for all of

those people out there right now that
are going through something that that it takes

a long time. I it wasn't
on this level, but when I was

pregnant with my daughter, my parents
divorced. My father left my mother.

They've been together since they were fifteen
years old. They my mother was devastated

and that was the hardest part of
it all. It is, but I

did not forgive my father. It
took me ten years to forgive my father

and the only way I was able
to forgive my father was that when I

started to realize that I was in
a horrible marriage. I shouldn't say horrible

marriage, and in in a mental
feel to marriage, the right feel,

right, right, yeah, and
I was thinking about if I could find

a way out. I was thinking, you know what, I don't love

my kids any less for that.
You know, it's great and what I

had. When that dawned on me, I was like, but anyways,

the point of me telling that story
is that there's probably a lot of people

out there that have something going on
with a friends or family members that they've

been hurt and when you're hurt or
abused or it takes a while, but

when you get to that point,
and it might not be now, it

might not be in five years,
it might not be intent but when it

comes and you finally give that forgiveness, remember that forgiveness is about you almost

more than it is about them.
Because exactly right, you know, a

twenty five when I forgave her,
I forgave her for me right thing to

do with her. She didn't deserve
it right, I deserved it right.

Just the point, and you know
what I mean, and that's what I

want to be by the remember everyone
right, exactly to your point. I

want everyone to know the forgiveness is
not about the other person. Forgiveness is

about you, and forgiveness is about
really being selfless to the universe. Yes,

and I really believe that. And
you know. And forgiveness does not

it doesn't have to come with consequences, because forgiveness could also be goodbye.

Yes, and I'm not afraid of
a goodbye. Let me tell you what.

You know, like what during covid
there were people in my life that

I love dearly, was all my
heart and still do, but they were

doing me zero service, girl by
Girl Girys. Sorry, I want to

get Didi the COMPO while I want
one and when I'm good ginning the conversation

into the service that you've given,
because I think it's very important. But

Hey, but there was a good
man named Frank Paris who who is a

good action to Derek in, our
very dear friend Robin, said something to

me that was extraordinarily important about forgiveness, and the question that I was asked

was do you forgive yourself? I
was like Wow, forgiveness has been one

of my most complicated words. Really, why? Because do you forgive your

mom? Do you forgive a debt? Yeah, I guess up in him.

Yes, well, I struggled with
that word almost more than I'm not

sure that you have forgot. I
don't think so either, but connect can.

Let me going to you. But
with here to to this. I

want to talk about what happens after
you leave an abusive situation, which I

did when I was seventeen. But
while lifetime of run abusive situation, my

behavior and my action was still propelled
by the abuse. So I lived with

it, with its consequences, blaming
myself for not being normal. I didn't

understand anybody, I didn't know how
to talk to anybody. We were poor.

Yeah, I was abused, I
was going to die of AIDS,

I mean, but just went on
and on. But once I left the

situation, this beautiful man put in
check with me that from that moment on

I had a chance to make choices, and my growth and my healing and

my maturity led me to my own
experience of my own self and the mistakes

I had made, trying to figure
out how to handle once you get out,

and I'd love your experience of this, deferent, because once you get

out you're still handling all it got
put in, and that's why I say

you don't get to take one cup
of insanity out one two are put in.

You've got to bring them out and
have to bring them to clarity.

People talk about me with standing up
for you. Why did I do what

I did? Because the insanity of
non truth. It has to equal truth

when it comes out and it had
to be as big a platform as what

got put in, and it forgiving
myself for the difficulties I had getting through,

the forgiveness for my family, getting
to the place on the other side

and really releasing myself from making wrong
decisions along the way was important. I

have one thing to say to that
you would not be the extraordinary and Haiti

if you had not lived that life. So forgiveness is crucial. Credo.

Have to forgive. I real lies
when to tell you that you would not

be you would not be the amazing
and Haiti, and I'm sorry, to

me, you are an icon.
To me, you've you move the needle

in your lifetime. You've moved the
needle and you have to realize that and

realize all the joy and all the
freedoms that you brought to so many,

whether you would given that credit or
not, which funny enough when you come

on, when you know when we
when we work on the other side of

the yeah, and yes, you
work with me on something that will tell

that story. But I think it's
really important that you realize that the joy

you have and the joy you've brought
for others all comes from that really difficult

place, because you might not be
as brilliant if you grew up like a

heather. Want to mean I hold
on, but heather, but heather,

but heather. Don't forget about that, Peter, but only nod to say,

wait, wait, no, what? I haven't turned a heather yet,

but I said Peter Pizzas No,
done. Oh, that's not a

problem. Right, you're having the
party late. Every time I say the

word now, gonna be a breeze
us. Yeah, we have to drink.

It's a drill. But, but, but, but then heather found

her great news through other things we
all well find are great. It well

through different situations. It's just yours
was difficult. Mine was diff I actually

had difficult shit growing up. I
make I mean she not great. All

did, but it actually didn't.
Growing up I had an idea like life

than Gosh, but there's a girl
pretty goad went through myself. You got

a drinking again. What the like
in the beginning of the PODCAST, when

I said some of US suffer a
lot the beginning, going to say this

us. Yeah, so, girl, you might have some good times to

be had. No, no,
here's one to know what I'm gonna I

don't want your stuff, of course. Don't want you to stuffer at all,

because you were one of my both
of you are just first of all,

I think she said her shrup suffering. Now say all we're good on

that one. Yeah, I think, but but I'll just going to put

it pin in it, because then
I want to get to Derek Warburton,

Derek the fabulous and they. I
really do it. This was this is

a really funny thing when people talk
about where we come from, and I

want to say this so you know
you and I like, I can like,

Oh, I mean God, that
but stuff. I can list,

the stuff you can list, you
know, and then everybody else goes one.

Mine isn't that bad. I remember
when I was in a night school,

I was so afraid in ninth grade
my brother and my father had just

died and and that's a mighty thing
to say, right. So I didn't

say anything. You not dimision after
getting a full scholarship to the school and

I just shot the heck up.
But I remember one day in ten grade

I revealed do one of my the
very wealthy girls that I had met in

school, that my brother died.
I had waited a year and a half

to like tell anybody that that's what
just had happened to me, and she

looked at me and she has damn, I wish my brother had just died.

I can't get sympathy for anything.
And I was like Marcy, like

this was the strangest it was the
strangest understanding of how different people go through

life. She went through life thinking, well, if I could, just

horrible thing to say that who actually
well, by the way, changed my

life the way he's Lee never forgotten. Don't be a date. What about?

Don't be like what a to a
person for the first time in my

life, because I was so quiet. Of course, my whole life was

in shame and secrecy. So admitting
that and then are going, well,

I wish I did. I was
like, these are two very different worlds

that people come from. We all
come from different places. I am not

the Queen of England, God knows, and that's her brother was Donald Trump.

Here's a but, but, but, but it's a what we wanted,

what we wanted to talk about is
the understanding and compassion that we have

given other. is now having her
a DD moment. I'm talking about something

serious and she's not giggling. Well, are laughing at my own jokes.

And if anybody knows me, but
I literally, but I go on in

the bend of the night stone will
be in bed by myself and laugh for

hours that. But I believe it. But I believe it was a funny

joke that I just like. I
looked at Robben out of the corner of

High and looking at somebody that nobody
on our podcast sees or hears. God,

our friend, Robin. I know. Hi, Robin, we love

you. And, by the way, Robbin, you better come and say

hi, because if you don't,
I'm gonna kick your ass over. Yes,

this is one of our best friends
in the entire world. Is Roba.

We call her bull boy, Robbin, boy, rob because he they

have another. Hi. This is
Robin. This is who heather is making

jokes with. Well, Derrick and
Ires, throwing our hearts on the table

for people that are difficult lives.
I'm getting this is this is the French.

I know. Oh my God,
how we did he we all friends.

Ryan, get over her, show
your face, get over here and

yeah, but you know, you
know. This is how we heal,

this is how we do this is
how we get to the good side.

All right, everybody, okay,
and somebody, guys, tell abody listener

back. There is one person that
earns the right to be called crazy,

and it's me, because I need
my book that. But, heather,

you're looking off to the side.
I just needed to make sure that everybody

understood. You were talking about somebody
that was real. Thank you. I'd

always look. Now we're going to
you get. I think that we should

get to the extraordinary moment where we
met. Derek and I met with other

when we were going to do the
cover of your magazine. Mr Warburton,

I have a correction to that.
Got There. I have a correct in

to that. I know. I
make the restaurant before that. impeted to

know, like who I'm going out
with a movie with. By the way,

thirteen minutes everybody. By the way, yeah, we'll have to do

that at the end, because that's
right now. Tomorrow do it's going out

tomorrow and is very excited. But
but in, in and Peter was the

was the was the adventure man that
you brought me to you. Yes,

he's but on your show. Yes, but the but the place that I

want to come into his when we
met. Now we've heard the story of

Derek and Andy. I mean we've
heard a little bit in his wheel.

Will you know, all of our
stories are a very complicated but we get

to the mall. Right, now
where you are? Now, Derek Warburton,

I meet you, we do a
magazine cover, Mr Warburton. Mr

Warburton and that's where all become friends. Check it out online. I'd like

to know a great art. Yeah, got there. What happened? You

came to you. We've heard about
you going from fifteen. Now will you

experienced your life fuller? And I'll
probably take you a decade later. How

do we? How do we meet
Derek Warburton, who has his own magazine

in Los Angeles and you're putting me
on the cover now, three years ago?

How does that happen? Wow,
well, trial and error. I

decided very young that I was going
to be an entrepreneur. Okay, which

gives you the time, because when
the rest of the what we're? So

many people, not the rest of
the people, so many people feel like

they're stuck in a nine hundred and
twenty five. I learned very quickly that

was never going to work, because
the dreams are not going to come true.

Working Ninety five just was never part
keeping for me. For me,

you know, and some people,
some people, they have other dreams.

My dream, yes, was not
to work for someone else. Yeah,

you know. And so my dream
was because be able to sleep in you

would she have had money? That's
my dream too, Darling. I just

put it out there I don't want
to. No, no, no,

Oh my God, I'd be out
there saving the world even more than I

tried to know. No, I
oddly, I UN multiple businesses. I

travel the world. I had done
so many things, but funny enough,

every thing that really move the needle
and catapulted me was community service. Really,

that was always the thing. My
big break was a woman at the

New York Times named Ruth Lea Furla, and she had heard about me because

I had a program called how to
be Derek Fabulous, which means hold on,

which means love, teach, inspire
and have fun and don't dress badly.

No, that's like part of those
are happening. Fabulous, but so,

I don't understand. But it's not
a ham but hold oh, bro

You and your act. So he's
so. The reason I did this program

was because I wanted to help women
in need get closed, to feel good

about themselves, feel beautiful from the
inside out, to go back into the

workforce. And he's still doing it. I know I'm trying to get her

back into the workforce. I know
exactly wrong. I'm always like and Haiti

skirts, sit down, sit down. Put her skirt that Derek gave her

over her dragon. Yes, to
try to I know exactly I am trying.

I mean wrong. I am some
still trying to help women go back

to work and I keep telling you
your skirts are not short enough. It's

Hollywood anyway, exactly. So no
new sue. So this program and I

was just at the time. You
know, I was a stylist, but

I wasn't in the public eye whatsoever. And that day she came and she

told a very real story. All
of you can actually read about it in

the New York Times. You just
Google it, and the story was so

real and it was funny because everyone
thought when it came out, they were

like, oh, it's very real
instead of being fluffy right, and I

was like, I want the real
because it's women fighting with me about what

they're going to wear. And I
was like and I wanted it that way

and I was honored that it was
that way because I want people to know

that just because the world is not
smiling on you today does doesn't mean you

can't have spirit, and these women
had. These women had such spirits and

that they were like no, I
don't do that, and I was like

all right, no, good,
good, because in those situations when you're

when you're someone in distress, and
many are met that many of our abuse

living still living in abuse situations,
and for them to have that kind of

spirit, to know who they were, to know who they want to be

and to get back out there.
I couldn't I couldn't feel more honor to

be there to assist. Well,
get, it was your cute as hell

for understanding how made women, but
and you have helped so many people and

it is absolutely amazing. Well,
one of the things that I want to

share with our audience is Derek Fabulous
does not happen without a commitment. Derek

Fabulous, if you look at him, this is a life commitment. To

show for those listening and not watching, he's wearing a yellow denim. Yeah,

Yellow Denim, mamoudling, that isn't
the opposite of a memory of the

former stud that super studded Leb I
glees sever shock a shore. He got

it off them Robert Magazine. Okay, no, no, now he wears

we after jewels and we have somethings. Everybody can see it on Youtube.

But I want to ask you,
dare we would there is a new position

that you were taking in and and
it is again a celebration of who you

are and what you give to the
world. What is next, you,

wow, okay, a lot.
I just took the position as at er

in chief of British thoughts magazine,
which is based in London, which is

great, such a blessing and,
funny enough, like Lapalm magazine that I

did before and was a partner in, an investor and creative director, everything,

this magazine I was part of before
it even happened to Oh no,

which is really amazing. And grab, the photographer, a fashion photographer,

started this magazine, as many are
now, because you need a platform.

Yeah, and and and also,
as you know this, we all know

this, working for yourself, building
your own platforms gives you freedom to express

yourself, and that's with the blessing
of life is well, and the foundation

being when you give, you get, when you really blood exactly, if

I take your story, you give
a you. Yeah, well, that

that's what you receive back, not
only because it's our glory, not a

link, because it's our intent,
yes, and our purpose, to share

and live and love and Guind is
what we are on a show called better,

together with an a heather, and
we do like to ask, is

there a person in your life who
has helped inspire you to be better,

to take that different step, to
do that thing that that encourages you to

stay on your path? It's heather
is to me. There's so many,

to be frank. Well, let's
go like if I have a problem,

I call you. When when I
think artistically and do all types of interesting

things, I call you. I've
got Robin, who made an appearance.

I've got girl Robbin. I'm so
many friends around the world. I had

to call yesterday with the dear girlfriend
that I will always honor, who is

the partner of the actually the consort
the Maharajah Caparthela, but I knew her

when she lived in boss only man
right when I understand them, mamhrajh no.

So it's a very dear girlfriend and
she and she's written all these fabulous

books and and she is working on
bringing me to India next year on an

entire tour like an ortor. Oh, I know you're like more available.

Yeah, and I got to be
good pointed. Is My point is I

have been beyond blessed because I have
so many better together's and and it's just

my atmosphere and who I keep around
me and the love that I have and

I don't. I have a very
specific mindset on friendship and it's kind of

like how I think about everything in
life. You know, we all have

a story to tell. We're storytellers, right, which is really I'm this

podcast is a fabulous tale of your
lives and what you're doing now and and

your relationship in the world's right.
Yes, and so for me, you

know, I think a friendship as
a story and I have and so many

beautiful stories with so many people,
and sometimes their short stories, sometimes their

meeting story, ibvious is, sometimes
their lifelong yeah, beautiful stories and I

honor every story I get to tell
and I'm better from every single person that

I have a beautiful story with.
You know, we don't connect with everyone

where we're too unique oftentimes for some
people, but that's what makes us even

better. No, but that's why
it makes it better than what makes us

better together is that finding that person
that you connect with that honors how special

we are as people, and that's
really phenomenal. And you know and that

that goes around the world. It
doesn't matter who you are, whether you're

very famous, you're not famous at
all. You could be the doorman and

a building and you have a connection
and I love that and I think that's

what's so honorable about life. That's
why I always say, you know,

my big joke is that you know, you have to be nice to every

single person because you never know when
you're going to get hit by your car

or the House is going to burn
down and then they're there to help you

like. But that puts us in
the human condition, doesn't it puts us

on an even playing field and and
I think that is the beauty of humanity

and what's so special about living in
the world. You know well, I

have your in depth think, but
where are you going? Because I'm going

to superficial. Next, I'M gonna
I'M gonna quickly say that I think that

that. I think I need a
Peter Pezzoli break after I think that one

of the things that, you know, having you on here today like such

a big part of our show and
what we do. A look, Robin's

bringing this more champagne by you.
Why he isn't paid for this? It's

no, his name is grammar because
he's like the Gay Cramer from signed better.

I feel and so we call him
all gramer extension. He's a little

bit robotic and he does beauty in
his sties and I know, yes,

I know exactly exactly, by the
way, and we're really proud of him

for the State Board, getting through
beauty school and the middle of a pandemic,

he was not a better and better
into Chris Life, bettering his letter

during its time for you. So, but were on distress, and this

is a perfect way and what I
was actually going to say, because I

met you straight out of COVID.
It was, I mean Covid, wasn't

we thought. No, Darling,
it was not straight out of COVID.

We went back in. Remember,
we were in the middle of coach.

No, I know, we had
cry together, which he was like the

first person that it was the first
time that I did something out of Coote

like it was the first work thing. It was the first in person thing.

When we look back, we changed
your life. We were in the

middle of COVID and yours. Yes, yes, that's what I want to

say, is that the impact our
friendships have had on all of our lives.

Our friendship, robin included, he, I mean the the Ryan to

like we started this podcast in code. They you know, kind of around

the same time, and and just
the paths that we've gone on in the

things that we've done in our lives
since then, and like not having you

in my life now, I just
don't even know what it what it would

be, and I don't bring on
New People. My friends are friends for

like thirty years, and so to
now to have you and Robin in in

my love and in my life,
I feel so incredibly grateful and and I'm

just that's it, full stop.
I love it. It's a full sentimental

moment. But I have to do
bus shameless plug. I have a movie

coming out and I am on the
cover of Derrick's magazine. Yeah, talk,

I want to do a shameless well, not so shameless at least.

You're here for a reason, for
like the cover of a magazine with my

one of my dearest colleagues and in
Derek. I will let you announce this

because of thirteen minutes coming out on
Friday. Yes, so I'm the day,

a real today correlation with thirteen minutes. My brand new magazine called Guru's

is coming out this Friday and the
covers are launching not just now, now,

yes, I'm change the full ran
new magazine with Miss Hand Hash and

our dear friend Peter Fetchi Uchinelli,
and it's definitely derect me. And Yeah,

in the vanished beauter Faeschionli, and
I know, but have a beautiful

history day. Yes, and Peter
Faginally for introducing me you, but beauterfest.

I are in a movie called thirteen
minutes this weekend down in what I

a lot to peter too, because
without him, and I say that every

time, we were fashionality. He
says, I just get such joy and

seeing you guys with Derek, because
I'm sure you know he does, and

he's like, what about me?
No, the thing. Yes, it's

so amazing. In the movie is
so incredible, and in the I mean

I the other send me, and
everybody who listens to the podcast knows that

I do not look at my own
press. The other sent me some press

of thirteen minutes. By the way, for our listeners, we gave you

the heads up that you were going
to see and h in the press saying

that she was patient zero in the
cancel culture and it's everywhere. So I

hope you guys see us. This
is Hims. I know, she is

my brs. She's the one who
do me like your kind of smart in

the know right. Well, I
mean anyway. Is So. No,

I'm really is that we're asking our
tribe to do. Yes, to go

check out gurus. Yes, magazine. Go slow, it's a guru's Magazinecom

and you're going to find so many
interesting stories. Got Besides, of course,

and and Peter Story, because it's
a much different platform for me,

because I wanted to do something that
was more wellness based, and that Dr

he's going to be a guru.
Yes, yes, of course, Dr

Doctor, Derek Darcy. Yes,
I did bring you DR E doctor.

He's a course of mine and I'm
so proud of her and the new book

I'm forming. Well, we talked
a lot about Red Zonean green zones on

the course, of course. So
we want people to go to Gurus?

Yes, we need them too.
So I have a very unique moment where

people are able to go to the
theaters and see movies again. Yea.

So for me, this is what
you know, my disaster movie that has

been released after volcano. It's very
special story that I tell in the movie,

and Peter is kick ass. He
is so, so amazing the character

that he did. I think it's
the best he's work for me as much

as he transform. But tray Satkins
isn't the facts of the movie is as

a it's a it's a huge disaster
film in the fact that we can see

it in theaters now is a big
deal. So if Friday I read the

blessed, I would love it.
Is Everybody, all of our tribe.

Well, take a picture of mature
of the Markey. will put it on

our instagram, on the INSTAGRAM.
There we go, and we'll put it

on our website. Absolutely. If
you go to thirteen minutes this week,

we don't really have a website.
We're not really wellcom yeah, you know.

or My instagram. Yeah, yeah, there, you're in charge of

that stuff. That's why I'm put
it on instagram. That the beautiful the

beautiful notes I've been getting from you
while week. Oh, we're really dear.

Thank you so much. I missed
you. I think I miss you.

Hell, are you joking? From
Heather was like wow, look at

all this, look at all this
and love. I'S A lot of I'm

just here. Celebration going on this
week. You know you're so grateful.

Dairy to be with us and I
think our I think we're going to give

our better shout out to Beatfeccian Elli
right now. Oh good, good,

better, because you really are our
style expert. Yes, give us.

Can you give us some Fallshoo?
We had fashion, should we? WHAT

SH is like? Give us something, all right. So, if you

could only buy a few waking hits, a quaky hits that you can actually,

I'm gonna give you quick hits that
you can buy affordably. We love

affordably. Yes, so affordable things. Puffy coats, puffy vest, UNA

glow has a lot of good night. Yeah, as a matter of fact,

I sent you though dare. Yes, yeah, so, you know,

I think you they're actually maybe that's
fine, I know, but I'm

all right. God soaks to the
puffet coat is a huge trend. Mixing

prints. Oh, look like you're
doing right now, if at all.

No, no, buddy, but
here's the tricks. You you print that.

Well, then you go and you
buy dresses. Zara actually as a

fabulous mixed print dress right now.
That's under a hundred dollars. It's phenomenal

and really beautiful. I just used
it on a bunch of TV shows last

week. And then black and white, buying it color block. Color blocks

the cars trend. And talk about
easy, because it's color block, super

simple. I wonder why. I
Know I love a color block. I

love a color block. Color black
me it means what dare is stirring.

So the baby you wear again,
you can be wearing a white dress with

a black jacket with the red hat
or whatnot. You could just be wearing

black or white. That's a color
block. What am it? Color?

It's just mixing colors. But all
in blocks. Got You correct, and

that's a huge trend. That's really
great. And then cozy comfy, which

I always like about on television because
that's a no brainer. And you know,

buying like Chanel, things like you
know, skims has the most amazing

collection. They actually just put out
a fendy collection, which is so fun.

I know she looks fabulous Kim but
also the very affordable things that you

can buy. Then the just cozy
comfy, but you mix it with something

like maybe you wear a big sweater
with like a lace skirt, like really

fun, and you mixing and also
mixed, mixing texture, King Texture of

fabric. It's not only color you're
going with your you're going to put some

reddy put you good. We're you're
gonna put a college sweatshirt with a beautiful

skirt. You're yes, funny enough
NORSTROM's back sweater that I can't take off.

So with with those shiny pants and
you look you is exactly I think

my daughter, I can speak for
Heather and Ryan, all of us here

today on better together with the INN. Heather, would you like to be

our style expert? Well, he
already is. Yeah, talked to us

just a little bit. Maybe we
just have a little bit of Dallians in

the wants a month. Gott to
drop in with what is hot now.

Would you be sure that for us? fantast sure. Well, if I'm

drinking and I don't have to talk
about Peter Pizzoli, I did. Derek,

you could not have been more fabulous
to have you on our show.

We love you. We Love Robin
or special guests over here. If you're

following in the Peter Piece early drinking
games, please don't drink and dry.

My God, please don't drinking driving
and don't take pills either. Not Value

of the dolls. Thank you,
Derek. Until next time, everybody,

live in loving kindness and don't be
a Dick. And two big thanks to

our better together team, Ryan Tillotson, Sebastian Alcola, Daniel Ferreira and,

of course, and in Heather.
If you have it already, please subscribe

on whatever device or platform you're listening
to this on and, as always,

see you next week. We better
Better Together w/ Anne Heche and Heather Duffy
Anne Heche's BETTER TOGETHER w/ Anne & Heather is a space where guests introduce us to the person that makes them better. For me, that's my friend, Heather, and t... View More




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