Hey guys, I'm going to share
with you one of my favorite episodes with
my best friend Jennifer menace. This
is right at the beginning of COVID.
This is a good flashback to a
year ago when covid was, you know,
really happening. Jen had just gotten
covid. Her and I were talking
about marriage and living together with a
guy during covid. She just knew you
was married, and also the fact
that she's sober. I'm not. People
don't understand how we could be friends
and we just are. It's called Rider
Guy, motherfuckers. So please enjoy
this episode and for new episodes, go
to patreoncom Slash Brandy Glenville. You'll
get free early access with no ads.
Good Times, Straw media. Oh, hello, there we go, I
randy. I can't we hear you? Brandy, Talk Louder. Can you
not hear us? I hear there. Oh, look at you two with
you little Christ street. Hi,
you're beautiful. How are you marry Christmas
me Christmas to hear the baby boys. She's so cute. By guys after
from Straw hut media. This is
brandy gland bill on the film. Hey,
everybody, welcome to Brandy Gland Bill
unfiltered. We're have an amazing episode
today. We're have, not,
we have, we're, we're have,
we're having one. Welcome, Brian, my producer. Hello, I brandy.
How are you doing? I'm good. Just hanging out of my house
from a little cat. I think
that's it. We're all supposed to be
doing is having me out our house. But La seems to have a problem
staying in. Yeah, they do. It's bad. It's real bad.
Yeah. So my question is,
okay, so as much as we're told
to be staying in and people just
can't seem to fucking do it, what
if doctors decide they can't just fucking
seem to go to work anymore? Oh
my God. Yeah, well,
I guess if they keep getting sick,
eventually all the doctors will get sick
to right. No, it's not even
that, it's just that they're we're. We're being asked to stay home because
covid is worse than it's ever been. We have mobile morgues, we have
everyone like. No I see us
in La County. Are there at zero
percent. They can't put anyone else
in there. We have no room.
Yeah, we had somebody die every
ten minutes yesterday of Covid. Oh Man,
it's ten. It was twenty minutes
like last week. Yeah, it's
ten because of the Thanksgiving Serge Right
now and they're thinking in a couple weeks
we're going to have the same thing
and there's no room for anyone because of
the Christmas surge. Yep, a
whole nother serge. And I've had a
couple friends who will rename me,
who will remain nameless. I'm having problems
with my words today, but I
have been getting going out. Know that
I've been asking me. Well,
yeah, they've been seeing people, but
hey, what are you going to
do for New Year's? And I write
now, my Gosh, mean die, like that's what I'm going to do,
because I'm not going to get covid
and I'm not going to go anywhere.
Yeah, magazine, the black cat
versus right by our house. They're
offering this like couples dinner that they'll
deliver to your house with a bottle of
Champagne. So we're going to do
that. Yeah, at at Your House.
I thought you were going to go
out. I'm like no, no,
no, they deliver it. Yeah, yeah, people, I mean
when I write back, not die
because COVID's worse than it's ever been.
It's like, Oh, yeah,
thumbs up or hurt it. You know,
they're doing something. Yeah, I
know a same thing. I had
people ask me to like, Oh, who's gonna host up New Year's party?
I'm going to fucking kidding me what? I'm gonna Start unfriending these people.
Yeah, I mean they're careless,
they're putting my life at risk,
they're putting my kids life at risk
and they're not how they're part of the
problem, not the solution. And
you know who you are, people,
you might get unfriended just what you
know. Yeah, but on to today's
episode. We have a really fun
episode today, speaking of Covid. Yeah,
speaking of Covid, we're going to
be catching up with one of my
best friends, Jennifer her menace.
She's also a sobriety expert and she's had
covid herself, so she gets the
seriousness of it and we're going to talk
all things sobriety during this pandemic.
It's a very unpreceted time and she's talking
pandemic within pandemic, because there's so
many people that are indulging in alcohol and
things that they would never indulge in
and so many people that were sober falling
off the wagon. So we're going
to get into, you know, how
she's had to pivot her business,
because she said public speaking engagements, and
how she's still, you know,
helping people and she's she gave me hope
after this conversation, because I really
I have days of hopelessness and it was
just reallyly great to talk to somebody
who has a you know, she sees
a light at the end of the
tunnel. She's been sick with Covid,
she's still dealing with covid the aftermath
of what it's done to her. And
I of course, and full brandy
style, have some wine with my interview
because she's the besty. And really
the topic was, you know, overindulgence,
and I'm like, I don't know
if it's Monday or Friday, but
I'm having a cheers way more than
I normally do, and we, you
know, we just get into it
and I think that it's a really important
conversation to be having during this time
and she's my friend. So we laugh,
we cry, we don't really cry, but well, I think it's
so special because, yes, so
she's this sobriety expert and there you are
drinking but, like the way she
handled me, she doesn't care. And
and you get to learn so much
about your to your relationship with each other
in this interview, because it's like
you just say things and she just like
knows exactly what you mean. You
might is there's no judgment there because,
like I made she's fifteen years Sobert, like at the beginning of the Pandama
pandemic, I called her I'm like, Hey, girl, if there are
was ever a time to get high
and makes me right now, and she
just laughed it off, like I
can only say that to a few people
because she knows I'm kidding, but
I was halfway serious. But she just
she knows me so well that she
wouldn't take that in like a way that
would be intensive and I think it
really comes across and it's really I love
that. I love that. I
mean she used to live with me,
for God's sake. She knows me
better than anyone. But we talked about
how, you know, this pandemic
is, you know, people that have
never had anxiety in their lives are
experiences for the first time and we get
into all the stuff. So I
think it's going to be a really helpful
and hopefully funny interview for you guys. But in all seriousness it's more serious
than funny, but it's gonna be
Great. Yeah, all right, don't
you think? Yeah, I do, I know. Oh, yeah,
you were there. All right,
let's get to it. Hi, hi,
hi, hi, hi. I'm
so excited to see your face.
I'm so excited to just be here
and I'm a little nervous. Okay,
why? It's you, I mean
my sin. I was thinking about this
when I was like getting all done
on. My hair is so dirty.
By the way, I I was
your first guest on your show. I
know, crazy and right or die. bitches. Right here some sty to
catch up with you and I was
doing a podcast just right before this and
I started to have wine and then
Ryan said, well, Johan's like sober.
I'm like yeah, and I'm not. Isn't inappropriate? I don't think
so, because used to live with
me. You Know Me. I know.
Okay, so this is the whole
dilemma with everybody always saying these things.
If I could, I would,
I can't, so I don't.
I'm actually going to celebrate fifteen years
of sobriety in January, and it's because
of my sister right here and my
mom. I mean, these are determination.
Stop with that, but like at
that moment I was hopeless, helpless
and lost, and you too,
and makes me all. You know I
get emotional. You two were the
ones. Like you, you're like you
got my so of security bound out, like what treatment centers I could go
to? You and my mom were
talking and I went to treatment and if
it wasn't for you guys, I
don't I wouldn't be here for my life
right now, because I feel like
you've come so I put my too,
my you've come so far and now
you're like, first of all, you
were the person that did it.
We just cared about you and we were
we were like the wind beneath your
wings up, but you had to be
the one to do it and you
did the work. And then now,
not only are you sober and doing
all these things, you're a wife,
you're a Stepmom, but you are
sobriety coach, like you have come to
the point where you're on the other
side of this, to the point where
you look you're doing speaking engagements and
running. So we're living houses and I
don't know what exactly what I mean, but listen, like this is the
thing is that, like people always
go, oh my God, like how
can you be? You know,
when when I was on your shows before,
how could you be doing those shows? Like I got sober to live
a full life, like I don't
drink. So, like there's nothing wrong
with someone else who does, you
know. And I'm not like people who
have come for help to me or
my husband and come and say, you
know, my kids need help or
I need help, then I good and
direct people. But like there's no
just because somebody's drinking doesn't mean that,
like, I can't hang out with
them. You know what I mean?
Like I got tools in my I
know, wait, may know this.
I mean no, you've got a
lot of shit for it in the past.
And this is what I was,
like, should I stop drinking?
But then I actually want to have
the conversation about the I want to catch
at but the fact that during Covid
I was wondering if you were tempted.
Number One and number two. I
was also, like everyone I know,
I know a lot of people,
that I felt fallen off the wagon during
this time, and everyone's over over
drinking, like hello, it's Monday night.
Cheers. Yeah, I know,
and like so cheers what I realize.
Okay, so this is what cut
to. I'll just start here for
right now because we have so much
to catch up on. I'm I decided
I want to start acting because I
put it on the on hold for the
last few years because I was like
literally all across the country, speaking everywhere.
And I told Tim last December I
was like, you know, they've
been holding on to this, like
I want to get back to into acting,
and he's like Wollo, act like, you know, like a total
dude right like and I was like
not ready to put out to the universe.
And a couple weeks later I get
a call for this movie and I
get my first movie and at that
that meeting, like I get another movie,
then I get another movie and a
pilot. After twenty years I finally
get my pilot. I'm in Texas
with Tim. We're doing some intervention and
we come back here March and it
was a Tuesday. Thursday California shut down
and Friday I was supposed to start
filming. So everything went on hold and
I remember being in my place and
I tim was in one room and I
was like walk around. I was
like, Oh shit, like we're in
locked down, like I'm gonna go
crazy, and I was like my alcoholism
is going to be affected. I'm
like the is, I'm I'm like,
and then I said my mental health, and I wait into the room and
I was like Tim, Tim,
I'm like, there's a pandemic within a
pandemic about to happen, and he
was like Holy Shit, and he's like
let's get on, let's talk about
this. And I've known a lot of
people who have relapsed, a lot
of people have committed suicide, people who
are normal. We know that,
the same people that we got, the
same people all. Yeah, and
people who are normal, like friends of
mine calling me going, you know, I don't have mental health issues,
but I've been on lockdown and I
feel like I have mental health issues now,
like and so this is creating a
huge, like pandemic, you know,
with mental health and with alcoholism,
drug addiction. My Tim, I
just lost somebody today that we knew
from the deadliest catch, that we were
very close with, and it's drug
related. Like our heart are broken today.
But do you think, John,
like this is like I'm not I'm
just tipsy, I'm actuate. I
so do you think? I know that
you and I have discussed our own
mental health issues together. I'm on antidepressident.
I know that you're on one and
having gone through this and having like
crazy anxiety and acute anxiety in the
past, I feel like it was better
prepared than a lot of my friends
that never understood what that felt like.
So I don't know if you like
I feel like I'm everyone's life support right
now that had. They don't know
anxiety, they don't know depression like I've
been in it. Do you think
that we're in a better space, which
sounds bizarre, but to deal with
it. I agree with you on that.
Like. So we have coping mechanisms, like thank God for therapy,
like I mean, therapy is like
the end all for me. And Yeah,
I have the twelve steps, but
I also in the last fifteen years,
have evolved and learned and grown,
not just the twelve steps, which
I do, but there's therapy,
there's meditation, there's all these other things.
There's working out, like I know
you can't go to the gym,
but keeping active, even if it's
in your own house, you know.
But we have tools, and that's
what we have, coping mechanisms, and
with the people who haven't had those
things because they've been on the go,
you know, and this what this
pandemic has done, is made us stay
still, and that's the freakiest,
scariest play for people to be in,
like, because they need to be
okay with themselves for the first lives.
They have to be okay with who
they are, not the rat race that's
going on outside of here. And
that's why I feel like you and I've
always been very open about everything that
we've gone through, depression wise, and
you know, all medication wise,
and I do. I don't know.
I mean I feel like I'm not
great during this time. I haven't a
great I know you got covid.
We'll talk about that in a minute,
but I feel more equipped than our
mutual friends that are calling me going.
They used to say to me,
really, breathe or relaxed. When I
said I'm a panic attack, relax
another like I'm not being a heart attack.
I'm like relax, yeah, it's
that much. I know. I
want to be like that, but
that's what people don't understand. And be
is that like if you're having anxiety
or if you're having a panic attack,
that's mental health issues, you know, like and and it's being able to
be so open, like you have, like I have, about our lives
and our our journey on whatever it
is, has allowed us to be more
relatable, you know, and more
able, like to have our friends and
our family come to us and talk
to US privately and we're like, okay,
breathe, relax, you're going to
be fine, it's going to be
okay, we'll get through this.
I mean, I remember somebody said to
me, and I might have been
you, like we'll get through this,
no matter what, you're going to
get through this, you know. I
remember talking on the phone and I
was like, I told you to go
to rugs. I was like,
J I the end, you might as
well get high if you want to, and you're like be I feel sick,
like I'm not, but you know
that me. But I'm saying it
as a joke, but I was
like, if there was ever a time
to it might be right now.
And I can say that to you because
you are fifty years sober and I
am your best friend. So it's different.
Like if I said that, I
would say that as someone else.
I'm like, listen, you got
to do it, you gonna do it
right now, but you're like be
no, I just got married and you
were feeling sick, but I was
just being an asshole. Make you laugh,
but I think everyone you're killing me. That day on that phone,
called for like rolling and paint and
you were killed bit. See, like
if people don't get, like if
people don't get our relationship and know that
we're sisters, I mean like we
have been through everything together, and that's
what people do not understand. Like
we have like twenty plus, maybe thirty,
years of like going through this journey
called life together. Let's keep it
at twenty plus. Let's keep it
at twenty. I'll keep it at twenty,
even though it's a law. It's
but that said, don't I mean
I do feel like with my advice
to you, which is horrible, by
actually did not want you to do
that, I think a lot of people
are partaking when they didn't used to. They didn't. It's true, it
really is. In like the thing
is, honestly, like if I in
a time like this, when we're
all in isolation, like people are,
like, you know, the people
would start drinking at like six o'clock.
They started drinking at three, then
it was twelve, all than the ten,
and then they're just rolling out of
the room and off the bed and
like starting you like it's become like
it's become a big thing now, but
if I wasn't with if I wasn't
so accountable, you know, like if
I didn't have this, like you
know, I have a husband, you
know, and like he's in recovery, so thank God. But like I
have you, I have my mom, I have my brother, I'm my
family, I have people that like
rely on me. Like I feel like
you have your title as a sobriety
specialist. Yeah, like you're fucked if
you ever wanted. I mean,
I'd rather like just tell my truth about
like my uncomfortability and go through things
and like I just hang on to no
matter what because, like, for
me, I'm not one that never ever
thinks about drugs, are drinking.
I don't want to do anything, but
I talked about it. Like if
it's in my head, I tell him
myself and like that's the thing,
like we have to be able to have
a communicative relationship and talk to people
and like tell our truths, because we've
been living in this like smoking mirrors
bullshit. That really isn't like existing anymore.
So like, get over it.
Just tell your truth. If you're
struggling, you know people are out
there to help you. Right. It's
Hart. I think it's difficult for
some of the people we both know and
like there's been suicides. Why?
People like that? I have hundreds of
millions of dollars and they're stepping off
a ledge in century city and I'm not
going to say the name, but
it's like he missed social interaction so much
and he wasn't an addict, but
he was so depressed, like I'm just
I'm beyond depressed. I've doubled my
anti depressidents. I The kids left today,
so that's difficult for me. This
week I'll be completely solow and it's
been difficult. But I feel like
I used in the beginning. I said,
Oh, I excel at quarantining,
that's all I do, and now
I'm like, I want to rip
my hair and teeth out. And I
know that you. I know that
this is your career and what you get,
what you're an actress first and foremost, and I know that this is
your husband. You guys have this
amazing business and you all these like public
forums and public speak speaking engage ents
who almost tipsy. But I'm wondering how
that has changed, because before,
yeah, we all had our dramas and
we were talking about it, but
now it's like, I think when we
come out of this, you are
going to be in business, because everyone
going. We Rehab well, like
what happened was Tim and I this year,
the beginning of the year, we
had all these feet, like eighty
speaking engagements. I was like that
was our bread and butter, and then
covid happened and everything we looked on, we lost everything, everything. So
like we're sitting there going there's a
pandemic, with a pandemic and we have
no jobs, no like half of
America, most of the world, right,
and now we have to recreate ourselves
and try to figure out this whole
thing out right. And I was
like, Zoom, here we go,
like right, and I don't even
know how to do the zoom thing.
He did it, obviously, but
I it's having to recreate and it's having
to reine and it's having to like
get through this no matter what. Like
the people like, I understand feeling
depressed. I get that, like I
understand mental health, like I understand
that your mind may be telling you like
you can't get through this, but
like I want to let people know you
can and we'll get through this,
like if I got through it, and
like we had to reinvent ourselves.
And so hopefully, you know, next
year it's a good time. You
know, we're we already have like speaking
things going on and but it's like, you know, some days we're doing
this together and like some days,
you know, in quarantine, I want
to like, you know, beat
my own head out. You know right.
So it's hard. So my question
is, like you are so amazing
at, you know, being,
you're such an amazing addict, good like
the Broy you know, going the
best addict. I know I was being
too though, but I'm gonna Miss
You. But, um never, how
are you, because I am not
okay. So, so it's different.
We're not just talking about our addictions
and what we're doing to destruct ourselves,
which was exactly what we're all doing. But I know you're interestinally like me,
and and that Shehrmoms same. So
that sounds weird. But how are
you coping with the fact that we're
in a pandemic that, I mean,
we've never been in in our entire
lives, and you're not only having to
deal with, you know, people
speaking agents, where our people are looking
to you for help, but you
also have to like Project Hope when we
don't really know. I feel like
like could be hopeless. I like that
question. That's a good question.
So what I started talking about in the
beginning, when covid started, was
when, you know, we went on
lockdown, was that there's this pandemic
within a pandemic and there was going to
be more suicide and all of a
sudden, you know, the suicide hot
lines went up like, I think
was eight hundred percent, and then the
addiction and relapses and stuff. It's
like three hundred percent. Alcohol sales,
like it's just out of control.
But then we get covid. Now I
have underlining issues and we had talked
about that. So prior to that,
I'm trying to like, you know, I'm buying every master is on the
I mean, you got covid.
Personally, I'd say we get. Yeah,
we like reading to your husband contract, because you guys are dirtiest fuck.
Yeah, tracked, yesd and,
and it's a whole new fucking games
holding down. It's not a fluid
like Covid, you know, like some
people got. We got the worst
strain, the higher strain. Eight weeks
of hell, like laying on the
floor. I mean it was painful.
Finally Preda Zone work from. It
got better and I'll tell you this,
I never want to go through that
again. Tim says that he'd rather kick
hero and in prison like he did
before back in the day, because he's
over right, your sober, then
go through and get covid again. Now
we have the anybodies thus far,
you know, but we don't know how
long that last, Huh? And
so living in this unpredictable new way of
new normal, of unnormal of life
is is interesting, you know, because
it's like you still got to eat, you still got to do things,
you still gotta work, you still
got a function in some days because of
covid. Now get this. Afterwards
I started feeling really weird, like I
got weird things, like all these
veins busted up in my body and they're
like that's covid related, but the
CDC wasn't talking about it. Fogginess out
of control. I still have it. I'll forget from one room to the
next what I was saying. All
in about maybe like twenty more minutes.
I might forget what I'm saying.
Do you like? And I'm like,
am I the only person going through
this? Now the physical pain question giants
are not going to interrupt it.
Don't didn't you have preexisting conditions? Like
yeah, that covid. So I
think of maybe it's hitting you. We
don't know. We have no idea
like how it's hitting you, but we
have I know, if you had
a lot of underlying health issues. So
when I was thinking to you,
I was so afraid. You sounded like
you were dying and I was like, I felt like who was I know,
but that's why I'm like okay,
and we were texting earlier today and
you're like girl, like the aftermath
of Covid is even worse than actually having
it. So yeah, you like
I want information out there, like,
but you, I just wan't ever
know. You did have pre exist tea
conditions. I did. I and
that my husband did it. So and
he has some issues, not as
much as I did. I do,
but he gets really tired and when
he gets tired it's like he ran a
five, you know Mile Ten mild
marathon. He's out like and he never
was that guy who was like on
the go seven he's like the guy with
way too much energy and now he
gets really, really tired. I have
the fogginess, I have the body
like excruciating body pains, like I'm on
Preda zone right now. To everyone
knows, that's a steroid that just helps,
not like one for muscles, that
just helps keeping this swelling down so
that you don't have to go into
if you so if you have a hard
time breathing. I'm very because Mason
has allergies as well, so I know
when he's off right, a is
own is fine, so I know it's
just helps with the swelling. So
people don't think that you're on steroids and
just yeah, no serious in it
is crazy because like it's like they don't
know yet, because it's a brain. To See, like it's can affect
the brain of mental illness as well. So many, many, hundreds of
thousands of people are suffering from post
covid mental health issues like and they're just
figuring this one out. So all
of a sudden all go really, really
down. And I again, because
I have tools, you know, from
the twelve step program I'll be like, I'm really down right now, like
is this real, like what's really
going on? I and I can't deal
with a lot, a lot of
stress. Meanwhile I'm in a very stressful
industry of trying to help people get
better, so I kind of have to
take a step back at times.
I'm getting an MRI done on my brain
in the beginning of the year and
on my upper back, in my lower
back, in the hips and stuff. At the swelling right now is helping.
I'm living in a girdle twenty four
hours a day pretty much. I
started physical therapy and I go to
chiropractors and they do the ultrasound and all
that, but I have to be
careful right like I've gone to the cancer
center. They've done every test possible. I belong to Beverly Hills Cancer Center
because of my underlining issues. I
don't have cancer, but all my blood
levels are good, which is great, you know, and my on college
is said because one of the things
somebody told me early on when covid when
we went on lockdown, was take
vitamin D Zinc Crescentin, which I've been
taking since the Cancer Center for the
last four years what is presented. It's
for your gut. It's a natural
yeah, and it isn't that are actually
like at the second brain of our
body, exactly bigger than our brains.
And it's exactly and if you,
if you Google, you can get at
life extensions, all natural but zinc, vitamin D, vitamin A. So
I get all everything tested in my
doctor looks at me, my oncologist,
and he goes, did you start
taking vitamin D? For some reason?
I said Yeah, I started taking
in the beginning of Covid, and he
goes, I think you saved your
life, in your husband's life, because
you should be dead with the covid
strain that you had. How Batter Hold
Act? Want to say we are
not doctors. Yeah, we're not.
We played them in movies and on
TV and on my phone and my text
to you, but we are not
doctors. So please don't do us.
But yeah, I know that.
I think tells me we does help the
common cold and everything. Think it
could be like everything to all of us
exactly. So he said you were. So your vitamin D level, the
number of the actual number should be
thirty four, right. Mine was at
eighty nine and he goes. You
are so like like your triple the amount
he goes. Whatever you're doing,
just keep doing on the vitamin level because,
like, I fucking Argentine and BA
grew Brown. This do it security
and in potatos. So like anyways. So like living in this uncertainty,
like literally talk about not like stepping
on faith in like a lot deeper.
You know what I mean, like
you just literally like go. You know
what, we always get taken care
of. As long as we're taking care
of ourselves, it'll all work out
somehow or other, because I feel like,
I don't know, I feel like
Jen, like like everyone reaches to
you, and actually kind of me
randomly, but like within our friendships that
we all reached you for like focus
and and advice. But even you you're
admitting that you have you, you're
there. You're like independent make but you
have your bright light within it.
But you're also acknowledging the fear, which
I think is important, because you
can't sit there and say it's gonna be
okay and then we can all have
faith with that. Talk to me tomorrow,
my being a told different brain.
As bright as our lights aren't,
they're just as dark right in like
I'm very aware of that and I'm very
honest about that. Like and so
you got to just remember who you are,
like just like take your breath,
remember who the fuck you are and
like breathe and just know that all
we have is this moment. Like I
literally have to hold onto that because
with all my other like trying to figure
out all the post this and that, it'll it could drive me crazy and
then I'm like, you know,
trying to be a wife, trying to
be you know, not trying.
I'm doing what I have to say.
What drives me crazy are your fucking
long ass texts, like you are the
longest texture. I'm I know I'm
not like going rightness up a little bit,
but it's there. It's at the
longest text because I am now.
I do I have to find my
glasses to read them, I know,
but I have so much to say
to you. Like who else am I
going to say? These things do
a fucking texture. I'm like, she's
so, I know, I know
it's funny because, like and then I
know I can go really long.
When I text you and Trina together.
I'm like, Oh, I was
like Jesus, Hey, see this crystals.
I mean teaching. I don't even
text, like we're, I'm like
barely on like each other with your
painte along like what. I had to
like check out at some point,
but the love is there. We love
you. I know you like that. Weren't like best friends forever, like
we have our little crew, and
I love that and I love that we
can sit and do and like talk
shit and like say everything, and I'm
not putting you on the spot for
like Oh, please, let us know
how to save us all from the
pandemic. No, good, no,
but you know what, like we're
all just trying to figure this out.
So like ring out together, and
you thing doesn't work for me, then
you know, I'll go look somewhere
else, like that's where people can do
is like we can all figure this
out together and like with all that.
Like it's funny because we went from
like getting so like whenever someone like comes
at me about hate or something on
social media, I'm like, you really
have time for hate right now?
Like once go checking your parents. You
know what I mean? Like so
I feel that we just need to change
that narrative, like there's no time
for hate, like we're all just trying
to figure it out. I'm literally
right now sitting in an Indian style.
I got dressed out for you,
but I'm wearing socks and the dress is
really short. Yeah, but I
hope my cuts doesn't show out all.
What's up anyway. That's a point. Like I feel like it's so exhausting,
but I'm so lucky to have all
of you crazy people in my life.
I'm sorry, I don't need to
talk on the phone with anyone,
like I've go dark. I don't
talk to anyone or so no for a
week. It is what it is, like Mama. Has To figure it
out for yourself. But I I
want to assure other people that aren't crazy
like us that there is actual help
and you just have to talks. Are
you and me. I know by
like. The thing is will be like,
is that I know that about you
and I know that there's other people
out there like sometimes you just need
to figure it out on your by yourself.
I know that, when push came
to show, if you ever needed
me at any time of the hour, that I would. You knew that.
You know that I show up there
without them, with a good your
house. Right now, you need
me. One thing. You need to
figure it out. Like people need
that space, like I'm not that person.
We know, but like you know
that you know what about me.
And then if we are caretakers in
general, like you take care of your
mom right forever, we're would.
We are nurturers and like slightly different ways,
but we live together for a really
long time after my divorce. The
boys love you and we like,
yeah, I love those boys. I
know I don't. Can't you believe
that's all they are? I just can't
say Um, but we we nurture
in different ways. I know that I
will write a day for you,
no matter if I don't fuck you for
three months, and trains the same
for both of us. She hear and
I are similar, but your long
one is Texas. Text. It's Texas
is a state, but it's which
I want you recently, no, but
you know what I mean. Like
I feel like I don't want to dump
the pressure of my I think figure
it out for myself, and if I
can't, you're the first one my
fucking phone, like I'm like hey,
let's have a conversation. But you
know, this has been a dark time.
I don't think that anyone has the
answers at all for especially when people
are newly anxiety. Written. Written, written, written, written. Whatever.
It's difficult. It's difficult like you, and I don't have the answers
for everyone that's like, Oh my
God, you, you've had anxiety for
so long. Like what do I
do? I might get some fucking Sanne
God, I wish I could be
busy antics. So wait, okay,
just joking, guys, just joking, because they're going to fucking it's Jos
my fault. Everything's my fault.
Play it up, but like that's the
thing. He's like, what may
work for you for anxiety may not work
for someone else. And I always
say the same thing. I'm not a
doctor, I'm not here, but
it sounds like you might have like you
know, it sounds like the things
that symptoms that I've gone through at times
in life or whatever you know it. I know I'm not a doctor.
I just like to play one on
TV right, but it's like people are
like, well, how do I
even find a doctor? It's helped.
They are online now you can zoom
with them. I zoom with my therapist,
who's even have a video like constants
there. If you don't have insurance,
there's even this thing called like the
real I don't know it's like at
the real appointment. Oh, I
don't know what it's called, but you
can actually get prescriptions, not oxy
Coda. Yeah, but people can get
you tell. I mean I think
that they were like sides. They can
see for free now until right and
some other things. But you know,
everyone's like, oh, it's going
to cost me money. No, there's
free. I mean these people are
working tires, like out there. They
say it right, tired, tired. I mean, well, you know
what I mean. I'm working non
stop, like all day long, till
night. I mean, like just
like any healthcare worker. You know,
it's just weird, like it like
sometimes I trip out, like when I'm
on, like when I'm not flying
right now, because I got really freaked
out. God, you are flying
a lot, like I'm fine and fine
and find it like I'm never seeing
you again, like no, you were
like, I'm sleep, flying thousand
miles last here, like alone this year
when we after we got covid Tim
and I were like, I mean,
because we got I mean it threw
us on. I mean I was on
the floor. I mean it just
wipe me out and I was like we're
not, I'm not going from zero
to a hundred. Baby, we're going
to have like those moments were really
going to appreciate life. And we went,
of course, from zero to a
hundred. And then at one point
I looked at him I was like, I can't do this anymore. I'm
freaking out on a plane, like
and I'm having anxiety and and people are
going to get arrested, arrested in
my plane. I'm like, I got
a chill out on this, like
it's just too much animosity. And and
so I've chosen not to fly for
the next you know, at least for
that, unless we get an intervention, you know. And Yeah, so
it's a lot, I know.
So you went from like all of a
sudden you were married, you are
a wife, you're a Setmom, and
then you got covid, and then
you got covid. Happened and then you
got covid. So, like you
and your husband, I could say that
you probably been married now for about
ten years, because he been together non
stop this whole time. How are
you doing as a newlywed getting covid?
And it's insane. So on my
sobriety, not my mom pat on my
sobriety, which is the one thing
I stand in truth in. Right.
Okay, so I said to Tim
last night, okay, because he's been
married before, and I was like, I've never been married. So I
was like what we've just gone through, we're about to celebrate on New Year's
Eve a year and we know everyone's
like the honeymooners a hundred year. I'm
like, what the fuck, what
are you talking about? Honeymoon? Ye're
like, and I actually one day
when we had covid, I text themers
rolling around in my back in here
and he was in the other room and
I was like, can we do
the honeymoon year, like in a year
or two after cold done, and
hearthy like I know. So I go
in the room last night and I
said baby, because you would know the
same. Sorry, would it for
this year that we've been too married,
like you know, what would that
be equated to? And he's like,
oh no, I'm like like ten
years. So I'm glad you're saying that
because the actually we worked other,
we live together, we got covid together,
we've been in isolation together, so
it's time for a divorce. I
fin yeah, tell your like it's
here, cooks, I have boom it's
not that, Mama. I'm kidding
and no, I know, and it
feels. I mean it literally has. Literally, Huh. Literally, I'm
saying it's true. Literally, it
literally has baby like. I mean it's
been great. I've been able to
rely on him and then it's been other
times. He just doesn't get.
He's a dude. You know what I
mean. He doesn't get like you
know dudes. Hello, Oh my God.
I mean like not being able to
get my toes doe like the girl
things right, like I don't feel
as feminine. Eat. You don't want
to see my hoofs. They're bad. Are Bad, but like it's bad,
it is bad. I mean like
my extensions are about like this long
and I just don't want to pull
them out because, like they're already fall
I know, I think I get
clip ons or something. I'm all right,
but it's the time to like that's
we're the same. We're like Coochie
Mamas. We are. So I
was buying everyone every part, every nail
that I could on Amazon, like
those long ones, so like I and
they flip off like every day.
But like everywhere in the ice maker,
I was like here's some ice and
there's a nail in your ice. So
next week I would get a nail
like in. I'm like, this is
so gross. I got him alone. I don't know how our girls do
it with that. Have them all
the time and they curl like I don't
know how to why. Like that's
just the whole thing. I know you
don't like talking about that, but
anyways, yeah, I done that.
You know what I mean. I
was like, I get you, like
we are, we're high maintenance.
That like it's but it also, I
feel like it's we're not that I
meant. So we like like our hair
and nails done and all this and
going too covid. It's like those were
our caretakers as our moments just step
outside of our frame and like get shit
done, or we weren't parenting where
we weren't working, and we don't have
that self care love right now.
No, we can't even go for a
walk, you and I right now, and like talk about whatever. I
mean, we have to facetime,
but like then I have to be careful
because then like he could hear.
It's so like it's like I'm almost hiding
in the closet, like I can't
be like I can't stand this motherfucker,
you know, but I of course
I love him. But yeah, I
mean thank God he's been good lately. We started doing couples therapy and it
was the greatest thing that ever happened. I mean because I really what comes
there be within quarantine as a newly
wed? Yeah, we've done it twice,
but we just needed to find boundaries
because, and he goes, why
are we doing couple therapy? Thought
I was going to like throw them under
the bus, and I was like
because I love you so much and I
want us to have a healthy relationship, because clearly you haven't been able to
have healthy relationships, and I've never
been married. Soa who if you just
threw him under the bus because you
said he could never have have the well,
he had not had healthy relationships,
like I come on, all right,
be nice. Yeah, no,
I love him, are you kidding
me? Lessons that he's learned how
to apply them into a healthy relationship,
do you know what I'm saying?
Like it's great to have therapy for you
guys right now, especially because I
think like spending all this time together is
so destruct can be so destructive if
you don't do it right. And even
though we're talking, like all of
our friends are. A lot of our
girlfriends are married and they want to
murder and kill their axes. In the
beginning is great, and then they're
like, in the beginning, I was
so lonely, but now that everyone's
complaining about their spouse, I'm like,
yeah, I'm good, yeah,
yeah, it's still does, like it's
hard to go to bed alone every
single night. And that's the things.
Like I had never I've never done
this, like I've never been I mean,
I've been in love, bitch,
so, but no, I'm seeing
like met the marriage thing, like
I've never done it and I always said,
like, when I do it,
I'm gonna do it once and that's
it. Like I'm doing it and
I want to do it with the person
that I mean. I'm so grateful
that I found my equal, like you
know what I mean, like someone
who has I didn't know it was like
somebody that was going to have the
same passion that I have. You know,
I thought it was like you could
do whatever. How you met,
like you guys are both sobriety specialists, and yeah, he was. He's
a big speaker. He had a
documentary on a and e called dope man,
and he was like at the state
of you, at the state of
the union with Obama, like he's
like, you know, been he's been
in the trenches, but in a
different way than I was, like he
and he was helping a lot of
people and he's just pulling people out of
crack houses. And you know,
I wasn't doing that. I was going
to places and speaking. So I've
I've been like pulling people out nuts if
it intense, but like I really
enjoy my job. See, I wasn't
doing that per se, but he
wrote a book, like you know,
he's really he lives eat some breeves. So it was so good to meet
somebody and I had been, we've
been friends for two years on facebook.
Like he congratulations. That was it, like no direct messages or inning like
that. And then he said,
you know, I'd like to meet with
you, because he wanted to power
up with a female to do what he
was doing, what we were doing, but when women were coming up to
him, he could pass them on
to me, and when men were coming
up to me, I could pass
them onto him, like a callt or
like Arey swingers or just a cult. And you know, I'm Joe.
I know we're like I feel like
slightly they're in the swinging club. That's
funny, but like it, I
don't know. It was like crazy when
when I met it was like Whoa, like love at first sight, like
I never I thought all the X
is equated to that thing. But like
it worked. It was amazing.
And here we are, you know,
and I'm doing at my sho what
what meant? I mean twenty, N
try nine. I think that you're
fucking the I'm so excited to like talk
to you. And then I thought, like, Oh, we're inside to
me, which is such bullshit,
like maybe you shouldn't be junk to call
her and, Oh my God,
I love it. Your man. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying. Um,
I think that it was smart because
I think that everyone is feeling this
and we need people like you guys.
are going to do some zoom like
therapy. What are you guys gonna do
on? Okay, so we'll people
can get a hold of us at dope
to hope and we speak all across
like will do a conferences. We're doing
schools, we're doing treatment centers,
you know, because now a lot of
schools, everyone's doing it through zoom. We're not doing anything yet in person,
but I can't wait till the day
that we can start doing things in
person. Feet down, that slow
down, bitch. Let's let's get with
the zoom, because it's gonna be
a minute. I know that. I
don't mean to call you a batch, but I know everyone think Biden is
coming in. It's going to be
like all like everything is going to be
great, but it's gonna take us
a good year, or six months at
least, until we are out of
the ditch. Like so I'm big,
like I feel so drunk. Now
he's think he like doug a big ditch
and now like we have a long
ways to go before we're going to be
good. We dug a big ditch
like a bitch. Wait a minute.
So what I'm going to tell you
is I'll say I'll add on to what
you just said. So I've been
watching a lot of international news and stuff
like that, and they said ninety
percent of workplaces will stay at home in
zoom, and this is going to
be longer than six months, a year.
I mean, I think that I
agree. We're look, we're looking
at a new normal. Like work, you're working from home, you know,
office spaces. That's all like yesterday's
news. I think I really do.
I mean wrong. I'm open to
be wrong, which is weird to
say. We want to be wrong, but that's sad. Like in this
pandemic, you're going to pivot and
the fact that people need you and they
need your husband right now, like
everything has been canceled as far as like
everyone signing up for these online or, I'm sorry, these in person seven
hours. Know, everything has to
be over zomed. We still need to
hold on to something, because there's
a cliff and we're all going to go
over it if we don't have your
help. And, you know, we
need to bring me cry again when
so, with that said, like,
I really do encourage people right now. I know it's a fucking tough time.
I get it, I really do. I just want people to know
that there is help out there and
there's hope out there and, like,
if you have questions, they can
call. I mean they can cause tims
very open about his phone number,
but or then get a hold of us
at dope to hopecom, and I
say that, or on our any of
our platforms, like I'm Jennifer human
is on all platforms. He's Tim Ryan
from dope to hope a manner covering
different platforms. He answers everything. I
answer everything, all my things.
I have no one answering for me,
but it sometimes it takes a little
while because people don't know answers my instrom.
I'm just going to let you know
that masons like getting a hundred bucks
a week. So anyway. But
but I don't like I'm not giving proper
advice. I love that you're like, you're available, you're out there,
you're someone that we all will for, not for me, but like,
like I well, I know if
I need you, I can text you,
but maybe don't give your number out
because you're hot. Your husband take
those numbers. But I mean,
I think it's just really amazing and it's
it settles my heart a little bit
to know that you're there, still like
and you can answer it. Like
I asked you all these pandemic questions which
I don't know, but you still
you are hopeful and you are still what
we all need to move forward.
Oh my God, I love you for
that. Thank you for that.
That means that means a lot because I
know you're not bullshiting. You've never
bullshited me and and and that's what I
love. I mean, there's so
many things I love about you. However,
I do want to say this about
I. Yeah, don't say you
can make about me. The government
has not helped, and I'm not want
to get into politics. They haven't
helped for people with mental health and addiction.
So, like it's people like Tim, it's people like me, like
it's my responsibility in some way,
you know, to show up, to
give me a voice, you know, and that's all I really am.
It's just a voice. Like we're
all going through this experience together and we're
having different reactions to it, and
it doesn't matter if you're an addict or
not, our few suffer from mental
health or not, like, we're all
just going through this together and this
is a fucking weird time. It is,
I understand that, but it doesn't
have to be weird forever. No,
it all clue. It doesn't have
to be silent like. So I'm
saying, like you and I,
we talk, we will, we text
with your long text. But no, I'm saying, if you want someone
just to like talk to and be
hopeful and have them to be hopeful and
like know that they have this dedication
to sobriety and anything else. Like.
You give people hope and I want
people to contact you and I hope I
will take a zoom class, or
not a class. I will I will
sign up for a zoom meeting just
because, like this whole situation to night
is made me not want to take
his annex and it love mysanex. I'm
serious. I think you have such
a strong heart and message. And then
now that you're with your husband,
I know I like we went to dinner
with the boys, so we're like, I don't know. He was said,
voice are so cute. He was
in Timisone, nervous meeting the boys,
and you like, I mean like
you were like the big one right,
like it was like if you pass
that test, like he's good.
And it's so funny. I remember
January or December thirty one is are one
year anniversary, which is really ten
years in this new covid test, but
I remember I text you we're going
to the justice of the peace and you're
like good bitch, do that and
then we'll have a wedding party and I'm
like, okay, they save your
fucking money and we're in so we're still
gonna do the party. Yeah,
but, yeah, happened after yeah,
after all this is said and done, you're still going to be my maid
of honor and I don't care.
I someone who s will walk honor.
What? Yes, I know I
am. Oh, no, but we
will do it. Yeah, I
just, like your husband, a bit
of a hard time of dinner,
but that's my job. No, I
know, he was like it was
so cute, so nervous and like loves
you so much and always is watching
out for you, making sure you're okay
and every way. But I want
to say this. Um, I just
leave us with some very ethic fucking
words. Oh, Nedm, that's wow.
That's like a lot of pressure,
but that is a lot of pressure.
I do want to say. Oh
God, how do I end this?
Just I'll just end with this.
You know anyone out there who is
struggling or having a hard time or
a bad day, I encourage you to
try to get to know the person
you're trying to kill before you kill him
or her, because you might realize
that you are so loved and that you
matter and that your story is not
done and it's up to you how you
want to tell your story and that
I can honestly say sitting here, that
I love you and I expect not
a thing in return. Just know when
you're trudging with me. Is Good
enough. That's so, like I will
say, because I know you and
I know that you have the biggest heart
ever, and that is a hundred
percent truth. You guys. She will
take care of all of you and
your children and she will make Nippanatas and
then bring them over like you were. You have more heart deal than I
definitely don't. But yes, you
know, I don't know. Yes,
you do. You still want to
show it? No, no, I
give my heart to people I love. It's hard for me to venture out,
but I would say to you is
what you always done, is once
you got your shit to fucking gather. You are a you're a world conqueror,
and if any can do this during
this time, it's you, and
I would. I would trust you
with my children, number one, and
anything that bothered me, I would
come to you, and I hope.
I know that. I know you're
like. Can you know that I would
do the same with you? No, I know, but no, you're
like in a different level right now, and I really love you and I
want everyone to come to John and
don't mention me, because asshole like Siley,
comedian. So I'm just joking around, like she's who you know.
You know what's crazy is that what
people don't know is that this is how
you've been for twenty plus. We're
just going to say for a long time.
This is who you are like,
this is who you've always been,
and one thing be if it wasn't
for you, and I don't care,
I just don't care. You always
go. Now with you that did.
If it wasn't for you and my
mom, I would not be sitting here
Indian style like, I am sure, my vagina to the camera. If
it wasn't for you. Wasn't for
you, and I said that when you
have the wings, you need someone
to set you fucking out there. We
were the wind beaunith your wings and
a song. It sounds creepy now,
but no, want to thank you
for helping save my life. Oh my
good, stop it. I don't
know. I'm not given this right.
I don't like sentimental people. That
I know. You go and you hate
it like he's I'm a kissing a
hugger all over you. But Jan I
love you and I love. Definitely. Yeah, I'm going to touch you
after this, because I find you
do already asks some actually, that every
man is Gi me and easy on
all platforms, and I hope to dope.
Don't know, Dopepe, dope,
Hopecom all right, love you.
Oh Gosh, I miss her face, I miss everything about her. I
cannot wait to get back to normal
life when we can do our lunches and
walk our dogs together and try to
not make them fight. Do you think
the vaccine is gonna do it?
You think that's what's going to happen?
Um, you know, it's tricky
because the vaccines going to take a while.
I think that by time you and
I get it, you know,
the normal people the world get it, it's going to be a ways away
and I think it's going to be
the responsibility of the people that you know
that have to wait for it to
stay in and stay safe and not reinfect
people that you know. May I
don't know how it's all going to work.
There's so many questions about it,
and but it keeps changing too.
So it's like part of me thinks
like and there's like this new strain in
Europe right now, like if we
get a vaccine? Is that? Is
it going to count for that?
Is that going to I don't know,
it just seems like fucking no.
Why? I think like with the flu,
we get a flu, you know, I get a fuzure, but
there's so many different strains of the
it protects from the main strain, but
you have to realize these things mutate
and to other strains that aren't covered,
but at least will be semi,
you know, semi covered. I just
I need people to stay patient and
stay in and stay not make it worse.
You know, I just feel like
the patience for the people as going
to be the biggest issue. Yeah, where did you guys live together?
When you live together? She lived
with me in the boys and one of
the many, many houses I rented
in. Literally, yeah, after the
divorce, she was like my husband, my soball. That's like. So
she really did get to like know
you like because, like you're going through
so much crap at that time.
Yeah, that was on house why I
was she was with me on housewives. I I've known her since like I
was seventeen when we were modeling,
but she literally helped me parent my kids
when I was losing my mind.
She's like the other half of me and
it was very helpful well, because
certain times I would just you need somebody
to bounce off of because you're yelling
and one's listening, and then it's like,
okay, come in and be calm, where I can go and have
a moment. Yeah, so,
yeah, you's so sweet and she's got
such a great mindset about about everything, and that's it's real. It's real,
nice and positive. I like it. Now I'd like her to I
love her. So that's good and
I love the way that, you know,
business is different now and she's changing
from public speaking engagements to helping people
online and the fact that she will
answer every person that reaches out to her,
and I know she will. Like
she's constantly on our computer and on
her phone. So she's she gives
me hope. She said, she say,
special person. Sure, is all
right with that? said, Hey,
coop, yeah, all right,
this is going to be a funky
beat. All Right, here we
you know, we give me a choice
for music. You just know me. Jesus, you're in a hurry.
No, not in a hurry whatever. Okay, here we go. Shot,
shot, shot, not not slot. We need to check ourselves leave
the echo. Hell on. Whoo, so that was shot. Shot,
shot, lot, slot, slots. We need to leave the alcohol in
the shelves. We really need to
check our fucking selves. I added a
few what a good rap, right, m hi cou. I'm still waiting
for someone to just say, you
know, you're not doing high coup.
All right, we'll pretend to tell
someone causes out and we'll still pretend like
we didn't hurt them exactly. Maybe
they just heard this at the end of
the episode. Yeah, I'd like
that. That remember that. That that
song I got. I cannot talk
today. I'm watching. I found a
new I'm watching all drug shows.
I have at three new drug shows to
watch. I don't know there was
so many drug shows. I've seen great
right. Huh, you've seen breaking
bad. Oh, yeah, I was
like crop, pretending I was on
myth. I started to have I started
to feel bad for watching him like
like like a myth head. I'm not,
but yeah, and Jenny, I
have nice. Okay, so all
right, by Ryan by THY.
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