Danielle Staub, Absolutely : Pride Month!

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Welcome to another episode of Daniell Staub, Absolutely. Today we talk all things Pride!! Please call in to be featured on the podcast! 833-411-4746 Ext 7

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Danielle Staub, Absolutely
Welcome to 'Danielle Staub, Absolutely', the only podcast on the internet hosted by television personality & entrepreneur, Danielle Staub. Join us every week as Danielle and her friends share candid conversations around topics that matter most.From Straw Hut Media

Episode transcripts

Straw media. Everyone. Welcome toDaniel Stopped. Absolutely and this is absolutely
everything about pride month. For mepersonally, this is a journey that I
don't think I've shared with all ofyou quite as intimately as I would like
to. So I'm going to beginwith you, Ryan, and I'm going
to tell you a little bit aboutmy story. Oh please do so.
There was a time in my life, I think going back to even season
one and two of the housewives.Why, I was just newly divorced.
I mean the ink wasn't even dryon my divorce documents and I was feeling
like men were kind of a distractionfor me that I didn't need and I
wasn't finding safety or security with themand I didn't feel like I could beat
my true intimate self after going througha six and a half year divorce litigation.
I felt torn apart as a womanand as a mother, I was
thriving. You know, I'm raisingtwo daughters completely alone and I think,
how would I bring a man intothis anyway because of your kids at that
time? At that time they werewell, took six and a half years
to get divorced, so they weremuch younger when we filed, but when
they were when we and that meansthat we didn't live together all that time,
so I was single parenting the wholetime. So they were see,
Jillian was eight when we got divorced, so it was about she was about
a year and a half when Ifiled for divorce, when I became a
single mom, and that means Christinewas like six and a half, seven.
And you know, having been sexuallyabused to how was I going to
bring a man that I knew verylittle about, even if I knew him
for years or decades, I stilldidn't know him intimately. How am I
bringing him around my children? Howam I going to trust somebody? So
I started to remember when I wasyounger that I had a great closeness with
this girl, and let's just callus that we were in a bisexual relationship
for sure, and she is,she was, she has passed now.
She was famous and I was alsointimate with the same partner as her.
That was the mail, you know, gender and it was kind of like
a triod, but we weren't reallylabeling it. But I remembered the closeness
that she and I shared. Itwas beyond sex. It was it was
an intimacy without it being intimate.And Ryan, I just got to tell
you like that comfort. I needit and I was craving that, and
so I kind of you're craving likethat kind of intimacy, like a like
a different kind of intimacy. Isthat what Ya think? Like what more
different than what you were used towear? Someone understands me, understands like
if it's that time with the month, or understands my mood swings might be
for different reasons, like just maybehormonal. And then the pressure of,
you know, looking this way andare certain way and having other woman looking
at me and as I'm a threatall of a sudden, because I was
single and I just really didn't understandmy path at all. And with that
confusion it led me to my truth, which was I don't want to be
in a male I don't don't mailcompanion. Right now, I really don't
want to please a man. Idon't want to be that, you know,
perfect wife that's, you know,a chef in the kitchen and you
know what, in the bedroom,I can be that. I was that
for sixteen years and you know,now I'm divorced. So what am I
going to do. I guess Iwas putting out the vibe pretty heavily.
And you know what happens when Iwhen you put a vibe Ab out there,
I sure do. Yeah, youknow, the universe kind of sends
things like lightning rods right into you. And that was when, you know,
laury Michael's arrived and started hanging aroundwherever I seem to be. And
there was really nothing on social media. Maybe facebook at the time and I
think twitter, but I had noclue how to use twitter, so I
didn't use it. Bravo had openedup an account, but I didn't know
how to use it. I couldbarely use my facebook. You know,
I wasn't you now, sadly,yeah, exactly, but your instagram,
exactly. I mean I'm literally likethe Queen of Instagram. Not Getting it.
I'm not the queen of anything.In my mind. I might fab
but we no, that's a trueI'm a queen of my own home and
my own surroundings and this is myuniverse, my little universe. But in
in all honesty, I didn't knowwhat I was really manifesting. And so
she was doing all these things forme in a masculine way. Taking care
of certain things, like picking meup and driving me to I mean I
would go on these events, therewere like five or six of them,
sometimes in a night, and soshe would be like no, no,
don't let them send the driver,I'll take care of you tonight, and
I'd be like just come with mein the driver and and after a while
that's what she started to do,because I wanted to like hang with her
rather than have her driving. Butwe would jam to like her music,
we'd be singing together and we werebonding at a level that I felt I
needed. I mean, little didI know that she had her own secrets
going on, but that wasn't importantto me at the time. I was
feeling healed and I was feeling protectedand I felt safe, and I don't
know if I can truly say thatit was only that that got me even
more interested in her, but Ican tell you that's what tickled me,
you know, it made me,I guess it was in a raginist zone
for me that I hadn't yet discoveredas an adult woman and yet a mother.
So now I felt like she washanging out like a friend, she
was doing music with Jillian, Iwas doing mustic with her. So there's
a reason for her to be around, and my kids were easily neal bonding
with hers. They had already bondedfor her. It meant her mom,
Bonnie, and we gone to thestudio we had recorded. I had Hollywood
life come there and do an interviewwith Jillian for her new pop song that
she was singing at all the fairslive. Don't say, you bet she's
saying sees it. She's saying it. Christine Sweet Sixteen, a song that
she wrote as called we are sisters. Oh my gosh, I'm going to
hunt it down. I'M gonna huntit down. That is my jam.
We are sisters, stand inside byside. She was so proud of forst
off and she performed just like alittle pop star that she was, and
that's what she wanted to do atthe time. So it was convenient to
have Lori around a lot, andso she was around a lot. If
I was at the OD diner,which was this it you know, aired
in season one as the place thatI take my kids, and I also
would go there every time an episodewould air, because no one else would
be out. I loaded the dinerand I could eat with my kids without
interruption and I would get them toturn off all the TV's. I didn't
want to see TMZ, I don'twant to see anything and I didn't want
my kids watching. Remember, therewas no social media to speak of,
so nobody really knew where I was, and I liked it that way for
those moments because the Paparazzi was prettymuch hanging out. I'm the end of
my driveway and when I come homeit was like scooping up the driveway and
into the garage doors and like closethem. Nobody could say me. So
I had this all planned out andeventually Lori started going to the old diner
during the episodes that were airing andI didn't put it together that maybe she
was, you know, accidentally onpurpose, coming from, you know,
forty five minute trep you know withbecause I know the routes. It's not
like it's forty five miles, butit was. It was a good like
thirty miles. It was a journey. Yeah, it was a journey there
and back and sheet which craft fake. You're looking at it in an hour
minute, you know, there's rootforty six, which is hell, and
that's the only way to get there. So it started to be like okay,
now we're hanging out at the ODdiner. Why are you out here?
Exactly? I started to ask andshe's like, no, my friend,
and she'd be there with a friendand I'd be like, okay,
makes sense. A guys. Shelive in Oakland and she's like yeah,
it's where the dikes and Daed's live, and I'm like okay, I didn't
know, and Oakland's right around thecorner there, there we go. Are
Go the Oakland Diner, od diner. So I'm like this, okay,
that makes sense that she made senseof it for me, but the comfort
that came from her trying to bewhere I was all the time. I
mean at first I was kind oflike yeah, it's a little odd,
but then I took comfort in thething that I found the oddest in the
beginning because I was pushing it awayand my kids dug her. She was
working hard for that relationship and Istarted to sting with her at all of
her appearances and she would do ashow which she were performed or I would
go and bring the press with meand support her, and she started come
with me on red carpets and atmy events and we kind of went really
public. So, you know,we were all so at the reunion together
and you know, she did getup and apparently, I don't know,
I'd already gotten up and walked away, one of the many times that I
walked the way in the first hourof season two reunions. I think Theresa
was busy throwing Andy Cohen at meor something, and and she had gone
for one of the producers who wastrying to get me to stop from walking
away, because this time I wasleaving the set. I was walking through
the regatta and just going back upto my suite. But literally literally heard
that she was like late getting backup to the sweet because she went after
Lucilla, who was one of theproducers, and Lucilla wasn't doing anything but
except for trying to stop me fromleaving the set so we would save time.
But it looked like she was beingaggressive and I found that to be
extremely sexy, like here she isdefending my fucking on her. I'm going
to like I'm going to defend heron her all night. You know,
I was we had made out quitea bit. We had, you know,
you know, romantically made out forquite some time and it was the
speed that I needed to go.Like I'm not want to just push up
on somebody, I'm going it.I need them. I am a kissing
band at a bit, so Ido like to kiss good night, but
I like to know that it's goingto end there and I can go upstairs
and I can think about it and, you know, be on my own.
I'm not spontaneous sexually. So ittook her good, probably eight nine
months, to really get me tothe point where I really wanted to be
with her, beauty, with her, and that's when I knew that.
I mean she sounds so eaitient,sounds so patient. She was, and
I think she was always so kindof confused, because in the end you
know that she did have a girlfriendand I didn't know about it, but
the girl friend approached me while Iwas picking up my daughter from school and
she came right up to my vehicle, and this is after two years,
I think, with Lorie. Yeah, and I she knocked on my window
and I wrote it down and Isaid she was one of the dancers for
her show. So I recognized herand I said know what you're doing here
she goes. I have to talkto you. She was, you know,
Lori and I are together, andI went what, you know,
what is going on here? Youlike, I I didn't know, or
I wouldn't have been like that.You know, she was around me all
the time. How could I haveknown? You know? But she was
a part of a dance squad.This girl, her name is Courtney and
she has she was traveling a lotwith the dance squad and I'm like,
okay, she's much younger than Lorieand Lori was a little bit younger than
me, not much, but alittle bit. And Yeah, so that
hurt and going to realize I canget hurt no matter what. Anyone can,
not just me. You can getherd out there, no matter what,
whether you're gay, straight, ata respectual everything in between. It
doesn't matter. You put your heartout there and you're liable to get hurt.
But if you don't put your heartout there and consider all the love
that you could get from a relationship, with your eyes closed, it looks
perfectly normal to you and it feelsperfectly normal to you. I'm going to
say this to anyone that's in thegay community that needs to, you know,
hear this that I don't have anyregrets and I'm not ashamed of my
choices. I'm very proud to have, you know, showed my daughters that
love is love and I'm not judgedin my home and I'm not judged by
the people that love me. Soanyone else's opinion really doesn't matter, and
I want anyone that's considering anyone's opinionoutside of their family or their tight unit
to not matter to them because theirchoices Ryan are their choices. Yeah,
you know, I'm going to speakgreat to the viewers, like your choices
are your ound you. You don'tlet anybody make those for you. You
can ask for people's advice, butconsider the advice of someone that might have
been through something similar that you're wethrough, because it's hard to take advice
from somebody that's really not going tobe objective, you know. And and
do you know what? And Iwant to go back to something else that
you said about, you know,putting your whole self out there, you
know, because I feel like ifyou want to really be in a real
relationship with anybody, I kind ofpersonally believe you have to put yourself out
there. You need to be vulnerableotherwise you're closing yourself off from other people
and you'll never be really happy inthe relationship that's your true you know.
So it's like you have to putit all out there, otherwise you're closing
these pieces off, you know,and then you know, I'm so happy
that I went through that. You'reright, and I'm so happy that I
went through that. It wasn't justlike me discovering that I didn't want to
be with women anymore. It wasme discovering I didn't want to be with
women or men for quite a longtime. Under the biggest controversy of,
you know, them stealing this,you know, tape that I had made
with somebody many years ago. Theystole it from my home and they,
being the housewives, I can assumewhich one it was. It doesn't matter
anymore. Once it was out there, it's like hitting Sindom a text message,
only you're sending it to the entireworld. They invaded my privacy and
it was like it was disgusting forme to know that they would take the
time to watch something that I madeonly from one of the person's eyes and
and put it out there as ifit was something that I benefit from.
You know, I've been trying tolive outside of that umbrella for the past
eleven, now twelve years, andyou know it's so difficult for me to
find love. Ran It really is, because how many people aren't going to
care once they find out what Googleand everything else has to say about me?
It doesn't mean it's the truth justbecause it's on Google. It just
means it's what everybody has repeated themost, and so there it's the truth.
But if they heard me defending myselfthe most I would get oh my
God, you're so defensive, you'reso paranoid, nobody cares. You know
what people care, or I wouldn'thave been Google six million times a day.
Or what was it, an hourduring the oils bills, when Obama
was in office. You know Iwas googled more times than him, and
that's what got me on a handyshow. I don't know, eleven times,
something like eleven times. I'm interesting. So people that want to say
I'm no relevant, I think it'smore about you. But I'm going back
to I have an opinion, ofstrong opinion, on things and when I
tried both and I felt unsafe bothways, I realize it's time for me
to just be with me and Icollectively withdrew myself from dating and I considered
myself, I think it was inmy interviews even I said I'm bored of
it. I'm a born again virgin, like I literally have an insect in
eighteen months. It's funny that it'sall people talk about, is how many
times a day I have sex.Well, if I'm having sex with somebody,
there's only one other person that wouldreally know that, and that would
be the person I'm with, andthey an't going to ruin that for nothing,
because I'm pretty damn good. No, I'm beyond good, but I
don't want to break I'm just gonnasay it's it's it's to me. It's
just something that I don't give awayand I don't have to practice. You
know, it's a passion and it'sme putting myself out there when I'm into
it to be, you know,connected to someone's soul in a way that's
deeper than just banging somebody. Likewhat would you bang somebody with your beautiful
body for what you look like,of what your shape is said, no
bearing on anything. It's the wayyou feel and the way that you feel
emotionally needs to be portrayed if you'remaking love or your intimate with somebody.
Don't you agree? I do ahundred percent. I mean, if you're
not putting yourself all the way inthere and you might get hurt real bad.
I mean that's that's the risky totake, but I think it's a
risky has steak. Yeah, yeah, without intimistake. Yeah, because I'm
trying this new thing now, likefor I'm trying to like, you know,
have blurred image and just talk withpeople. It's on an APP,
you know, and you know it'sinteresting because you know not seeing them,
but knowing that they were you know, they have their own people. I
have my person that's kind of vettingcertain people for me and it's not like
I'm wide open to anybody, youknow, coming in and talking to me,
because I'm just not interested. Iwant to know that the people that
have been spoken to, that aretalking to me or comming to talk to
me, are in the same positionI'm in. I want to know that
it's safe to say I'm only lookingfor love and I want the love of
my life. I want a person, a man that will go to any
lengths to be with me and Iwant him to love me totally and completely,
not just the way I look,not just the way I talk,
not just the way I'm intimate,not just where a cook, not all
any of it, all of it, and I want to be able to
love him and return the same.But in order to love somebody, you
have to consider the fact that theyhave to be as open as you are
to it. And that's biggest,in the worst mystery of all, don't
you know? You never know ifthey're really being honest itself. It's tougheny
has to tell them, you haveto as her out. Yeah, Oh,
yeah, they're out. Yeah,I mean I would rather talk to
somebody long distance and not be ableto see them, not be able to
touch them, not be able tokiss them, and know that we have
committed like amount of times, yemnificantenough that we've may be dated like four
months by the time we meet,even though it might be, you know,
four months, considering spending five,six hours on the phone, right,
you know talking. But if youhave that connection, for with somebody,
and I had it with somebody,I did sue on this APP really,
Yep, no way, and wewere both like what the hell is
happening? Is like five hours outof the phone. WHOA like actually talking
facetime based Tommy? Yeah, wayto go, like you and I are
sitting. I had no idea.Oh my good, and I was like
just emotionally blown away, like I'dget a text message. You know,
this is like it's worth it.It's worth the investment. You're worth the
investment. You know, once thethe pictures become unblurred after you talk for
so long, you have the optionto unblur. My face was still cover.
You could see, you know,my photographs, which were all very
decent. And people, if you'regoing on APPS, please, first of
all, don't go on APPs.But if you're going to go on an
APP, don't put up pictures.Given away everything. Yeah, come on,
like, if you're going to weara bathing suit in a picture,
make sure you're on the fucking beach, please, you know. Or buy
a pool and it's a friend thatjust took a casual, candid picture of
you. Now of this posing andcopying and this shit like that. It's
fake. And you know what,you edit those photos when they meet you
in person and they're gonna know youdon't look like that. So stop,
it's true, untruthful about yourself andput yourself out there. And I'm enough
that you can be blind to somebodyand they will get a connection with you.
And then when they open your photos, that's like a grand fucking prize,
you know, like boom, thereyou are. But better than that,
you get a bonus. It's likeNigga, you know, winning the
lottery compared to the mega millions.Yeah, you get the mega millions when
they meet you, facetoface and youlook better. Yeah, your pictures been
didn't edit exactly. You want tolook at her when you see yourself.
And Yeah, when you find themin person, finally, you want to
look better. Right, it's sowhat I'm saying here like has to resignate
with with everybody, with your gay, you're straight or you're you're never confused.
You love what you love. You'rejust scared. Your fear will hold
you back. But you should neverallow fear to get in the way of
exploring where your true hearts calling it, I can say in all honesty,
when I end up with the persontime that's out there, wherever he is.
I know it's a male but hey, listen, I don't know for
a fact, because I'm want.I'm not with anybody right now, right.
So what would I know? Iwant love, the deepest part of
love in my life, and Iam I'm here putting myself out there.
That doesn't mean everybody come on andhit me up. It's not going to
work that way. I have aMax maker and I'm going to stick with
the matchmaker. So, yeah,find my matchmaker or let my matchmaker find
you. Please don't send me videosif yourself either. There's many of you
that saw. Must have saw thatAPP video that I did. Yeah,
that's not going to get me.I don't ever have sex without knowing somebody
for a very long time. Soput away the perceptions, even though,
you know, most people will beflattered, nobody that's close to my daughter's
ages will ever get a second lookfrom me. I'm made, first of
all, Yuck. You know,like I might know your mother. You
know I can see fifteen years youngerthan me because I've passed for much younger.
But I'm not trying to fool anybody. It's just my energy and the
way that I am. My mightwell pairing me with somebody that's younger than
me. I have a younger attitudeof personality, but there's times when,
you know, I don't want tohave to perform. So I'd really rather
have somebody that's pretty comfortable with themselves, no matter what you know, and
I think that that's the meaning ofthis whole podcast and this whole episode,
is that you got to be comfortablewith yourself and you don't really have to
know what you want to find love. But yeah, it's we willing to
put yourself out there. I lovethat. I love that should be the
title of this episode. Of gettinghurt. Yeah, so go ahead and
get hurt a little bit and thesedo. Yeah, and if you're confused
about maybe coming out, please hitRyan up and or hit me up in
Dam's and let us know if wecan help you, because maybe we can
help tell your story and we couldkeep you blind so people can see you
and you can tell you your storyto us on how you're feeling, and
then, if you're comfortable with it, we could always unblind you so people
would know that you're coming out.It's up to you, but if anyone
out there needs a little push inthe right direction, June will be your
mom honey. Come on out andyou know have your coming out and you're
coming up all of the same timeand I'd love to hear this stories.
I don't know about you, right, please send them in. You know
what, we have a number wherepeople can call and leave voice mails for
you. Danielle will put it inthe show notes and if anyone wants to
call, leave a message, callin and we'll play them here on the
podcast. Daniell, you'll listen,you'll talk, we'll talk about it.
Yes, Oh, please do that. So Ryan's going to put the information
up with this podcast and this viewingand please, when you see that number,
if you want to be heard,call that number immediately and you will
be directed to me. Yep,and this is something new to be my
first caller, be the first color. I mean, what a great I
like number one. I like theJeez, what a good way to thanks
so much for listening today to anotherstory from yours, truly, and I
hope we can get some some ofmy friends on here to tell their stories.
Oops, sorry about that. Iworries. I'm so sorry about that.
I gotta learned to turn my phoneoff. I want to have some
of my friends come on. I'minvited them to tell their stories, but
bigger than that. Whatever people arecomfortable with, we'll see if they come
on or if they don't. You'regoing to get my stories and they're relatable,
hopefully, to all of you,and Ryan, thanks for always being
an ear, and a patient earat that, of listening. If anyone
wants any information on Daniel Stall,absolutely please go and click this subscribe button
on spotify or apple or really anywhereyou listened from, but just be sure
to subscribe so we can totally vibeis, especially this month during pride,
honoring all of you anywhere, anyday, from any place, with love
you and I hope that you'll comein and tune in for each episode.
Happy Pride Month, everybody. Thankyou. The Happy Pride