Tequila Talk w/ Daisy Fuentes & Richard Marx : Family Therapy

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Richard and Daisy saw the new James Bond movie and Richard was inspired to Google Daniel Craigs' workout regiment. How much would someone need to pay you to devote every day to get in the best shape of your life? This opens up a deeper conversation on health and fitness. Then the couple dives into the topic of happiness. What drives Richard Marx? Tune in to find out! From Straw Hut Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tequila Talk w/ Daisy Fuentes & Richard Marx
TV Personality Daisy Fuentes and her rock star husband Richard Marx, open up a bottle of their finest distilled agave and start chatting. All of those conversations on poignant topics you WISH you had recorded once the booze started flowing.... that's happening here! It's Tequila Talk! From Straw Hut Media 

Episode transcripts

Straw media. Cheers, chears.I was quite ready for you said I'm
ready. Okay, fine, cheersfor yourself, a glass of your finest
Tequila or whatever you drink from Strawhut media. This is Tequila talk with
daisy points and Richard Mox welcome toTequila talk everyone. Whenever you say the
words I'm ready, I'm ready toyes, Huh, okay. And,
frankly, when are you? Nevernot ready. I'm always ready for ever
not ready, always ready, baby, we kind of a late night last
night. Yeah, we did,didn't we? I mean, I mean
we're at we always have a latenight. We don't. We don't go
by the rules. What are rules? We still behave as if we're fourteen
on summer vacation pretty much all thetime. We should, we actually should
behave that way more. Yeah,I'm just talking about in terms of,
like we're up late and week sleepin, and when we can't sleep in,
when we have to wake up.Oh it sucks, I can't do
it. I act like I'm fourteenon summer vacation. I don't know what
I have to disagree with that,because you are really good with that,
especially when you're working on tour andyou have to be up like you have
a show the night before. Yeah, that's get to bed about zero am
and you have to be up atfive or six for a flight or a
drive. That's from next place.I don't. Are Up with no problem
and you are never late. Nope, you never oversleep. No, you
don't complain. I don't what.You don't complain about it. No,
I, on the other hand,do. You do. I do.
I love having you on the road, except for that, because, excuse
me, I just go with it. You know, I'm I think I'm
just serious to it. I'm usedto it. I'm I just focus on
how grateful I am that this iswhat I do for a living and that
this is part of this is whatI get paid for. There's the two
hours on stage or free yeah,and so it's like, okay, I'm
still getting to travel nicely and youknow, I don't have to arrange transport.
I my tour manager, Sam haseverything ready. He's got a nice
smoke in the car for me.It's pretty nice life on the road if
I don't complain, even when Ihave to get up at for thirty or
five o'clock. Yet you know,here's the other thing that a lot of
people would not think to ask.or or no, I can be on
the road, you know, backin the days when I used to be
on the road, remember those dayswhen I used to have a job?
Yeah, but listen, they're they'regoing to be upon us very soon.
Yeah, but days, all thoseyears, the last almost six years since
you and I have been together married, I could be on the road and
doing a pretty grueling schedule of twoweeks or two and a half weeks of
like shows almost every night. Yeah, and when that break is over and
I'm flying home, instead of sleepingin and taking a leisurely flight home,
I take the first flight home.But because that's how much I miss you.
Well, I love so even thoughI'm wiped out of that point,
I'll still sleep three and a halfor four hours, jump on a plan.
And you're really good in that.When you get home, it's not
like you need to sleep for daysand you don't want to do anything because
just wanted it. You're ready togo and take another trip if that's what
you want to do. What you'reready to go out to dinner or see
friends, and it says it nothinghappened. But where's most people need a
break, right. But here's howlet me do my impression of daisy on
the road with me. Please don't, please don't. That's a day too
and we have to get up atseven to make a nine o'clock flight.
And okay, maybe a larm willgo out, maybe three. Are Bullshit.
Every morning, every morning when thealarm goes off, I have to
say this. You'll get up andtook a shower and then she'll be getting
that. She'll go. Should weorder room service, like we have to
leaven ten minutes? That's bullshit.Yeah, but I do love that time
we have in the car or evensitting at the fucking you know airport lounge
or terminal, where we're just sortof cuddled up together and we're sleepy and
it's just part of the deal.And then, you can we get to
our next place and we we canchill out. We hardly ever take a
nap. We usually work out,just find a place for lunch or you
know, it's fun for what itis fun. It is fun and night.
You know, I don't think peoplebut it's really glamorous. It's sometimes
it is sometimes it's very glamorous,but the time it's really get what it's
like to be on tour and,HMM, we obviously not done any of
that now for a year and ahalf because of covid you're about to go
back on a grueling tour starting nextyear, early next year. Yeah,
I will go with you on someof that. It's a lot and it's
a lot for me going with youas your companion, because I'm not the
one working, and so let mejust take people through it. Okay,
for you it's great because you're usedto it. This is what you've been
doing your whole life. You youhave your schedule somewhat in your head already
of what you're going to do forthe next few weeks, when you're going
to be traveling, and then youlet it go because your tour manager kind
of does all the planning. It'salready been planned. You just paper.
It's on paper. You kind ofbe really good about knowing where you're going
to go, where you're going tobe. Yeah, you go with it.
It's usually you get somewhere, youplay there that night, you go
to sleep. HMM, wake upsuper early the next morning head to the
next place. Either it's a drive, a long drive to the next place,
or a flight, preferably a longdrack of I hate the flights.
Yeah, it's the same amount oftime, but it's just a grace be
in the car. It's a drageither way. But yeah, so it's
either a flight or drive to thenext place where you check into the hotel.
You have enough time to maybe grabright for lunch, maybe do a
little workout, relax for a littlebit and do it all again to the
show, go to bed, wakeup and repeat. HMM. And it's
non stop. Different City every day, sometimes a different country. It's just
nonstop. It's grueling. So byyou know, day four, day five,
that person who is just tagging alongwith you and riding along with you
gets tired. Well, plus,you don't get the dopamine rush every night.
Yeah, I adrenaline of getting readyand doing something and checking off,
yes, another Gig, and youknow you're just kind of you know,
it's fun. It's fun for awhile and then you start getting really tired.
Yeah, when I pictured the schedulethat I keep touring, when I
picture that accompanying I've mentioned that oneof my favorite things since I met you
was, for the first time ofmy life I've gone and traveled just to
be your boyfriend or husband. Yeah, where you've had to go to work
for three or four days and Iend up hanging out in the hotel,
going to the SPA. Yeah,chilling, like reading the paper in the
afternoon, getting called Mr Fuentes,is called Mr Fuenttos, you hands of
the phone, called down stairs,Miss Mr Fuantez. What can I get
you? I love it and Iwould you think that? I would have
thought my personality, and this hasnothing to do with misogyny at all,
it's just has to do with justwill like relaxing and not and watching somebody
else work while I sit around.That's just never been my life ever,
and I took to it like afucking fish and water. Yeah, but
we didn't do that a lot,but lazy. Other point is that it
was always in one place, andit is really nice right, usually New
York. Yeah, we go toNew York. I got work before days.
You'd say, just sit on thefucking you're just hotel. It's your
friends for launch and should do moreof that. Then we'd have nice dinners
and it was assoble. That's totallydo look forward to. Yeah, but
when I pictured that accompanied by everytwenty four hours, I didn't have my
shit. Yeah, and follow youto the next town, I would probably
get a little tired of that too. Yeah, it would be fine for
a few days and then you'd betired. Yeah, which is why I
mean I love that you come outon the road with me as much as
you do, but you're not.It's not seven. No, and tacy
chooses her no, disrespected any I'mnot going to name any of the towns,
but she'll look through the Ituneralgo not, they're not there. I'll go
there. Yeah, there, yeah, not there. Well, sometimes there's
a group of cities together going tobum fuck. Yeah, this is hippy.
Yeah, there's a group of placesthat are more desirable. You know
what, you know, the hotelsare going to be a little nicer,
the traveling it's going to be alittle nicer and there's some other parts that
you know it's but come on,we've had fun and kind of like Shitty
Hotel Luly, and I don't thinkpeople realize that a lot of times we're
staying in like little shitty hotels.It's not always the rits and the more
seasons. In fact, that's reallyrare. Yeah, that's really rare.
I mean sure, if we're goingto Paris, if you have a Gig
in Paris, will stay at anice hotel. They're right. Most places,
most small towns, whether it's inEurope or in the US, there
is no big fancy hotel. You'retoo much. I try to do is
base for a couple of days ora few days and you know, major
city, like if I'm playing onthe East Coast, if I can stay
in New York or I can stayin Boston. Yeah, at a really
Nice Hotel and then just I wouldrather take the two or three hour drives
to the smaller towns where I'm playingnearby and then come back to Boston to
sleep. Right. It's a lotof in the car, but it's much
more pleasant. Yeah, I don'tknow about that. But Wow, we
really got off topic because the wholepoint was we were up late because we
went to see the James Bond movielast night. We did. It was
fun. A couple of my sonsand their girlfriends came. Yeah, and
very long movie. It is avery long it was visually just it was
beautifully shock. Our friend George on. Oh God, it was quart friend,
George Han had commended it, orhe said he was going to see
it. This is a few daysago, and I said I want a
full report and he and he reallyliked it, and then he texted me,
because when you see a please letme know what you thought. So
I I message him today. Everybodyagrees. It's to way too long.
It was a little bit too long. I was watching like we got invited
to see a rough cut. HMM, that they were going to trim down.
It should have been trimmed down alittle bit. Of Im too half
an hour. And and here's thething. We went to go see it
at one of those theaters that aresuper comfortable with the reclining seat, order
Martinis and the reclining the Martinis andthe reclining seats. Yeah, if we
had to watch this movie in aregular theater with the regular seats, my
ass would still be numb. Yeahas well, but you're right, it
was can't watch that in a reverybit shocked. Every shot of every scene
was gorgeous. It was a beautifullyshot movie. It was everybody looked amazing.
It was eye candy. Yeah,beautifully shot. I felt like the
story was a little convoluted for me, like, I mean it was very
typical James Bond, but it wasa lot of me going with what's happening?
WHO's that? See, I misseda few I thought I could have
used a few more James Bond likefight scenes, you know, where they
they whip out some like incredible techything that would never exist. You know
that only James Bond would have.Yeah, there were a couple things,
but it was pretty typical James,typical they I remember in a lot of
the movies always being impressed by,Oh wow, wouldn't be great of that.
Actually Gadgets, at the gadgets andthe things. And Yeah, didn't
have a lot of that. No, and I just the other thing is,
and I encourage everybody to see it, because it's the last James Bond
movie with Daniel Craig and he's Ijust are we sure about the Daniel Craig?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, he said it. Yeah,
okay, he has said ever know. I mean he's fifty three. He's
said, yeah, this is gotto be it for me. Well,
you never know, you never know. Could he come yes, of course.
Could he come back and do it? You know, yeah, James
Bonds, Dad, I don't know. HMM, but I just was kind
of as a little bummed out thatthere were. Okay, let me just
do my little rant here. I'ma lifelong James Bond Fan. I love
the Sean Connery Movies, I lovedthe Roger Moore Movies. I really loved
the Pierce Brason and James Bond.Yeah, I like that too, and
I was okay with the fact thatit was campy, that it was silly,
that there were always moments where itwas very wink at the camera right,
which is that was just part ofthe deal. That's fine. But
then Daniel Craig comes along with CassinaRoyale and there's none of that shit.
It's an actual dramatic action film withno winking and no camp Venus, just
fucking brilliantly done. HMM. Andthis movie has moments where it's like wink,
wink, and their lines of dialogthat made me go, Oh really,
dude, this is like it's likea line out of get smart,
you know, like they just didn'tthat bum me out a little bit.
I think they were just trying togo for some classic James Bond Typical lines
that you, you know, wouldexpect. Come on, that didn't bother
me as much. That didn't botherI mean it's James Bond. I think
if you're a fan of that franchiseyou're going to love this movie. So
it was a we went to athirty a showing, so we didn't get
home to thirty or something. Welate night for us. Oh No,
we at home at thirty. Butthen, thanks to this fucking movie,
I spent the next hour and ahalf googling Daniel Craig James Bond workout,
because I was like, okay,he's a few years younger than me,
but this guy got in, ashe always does for James Bond. He
got in such great shape. Yeah, and he's not a big guy.
We're about the same size. Yeah, but he got so cut and ripped
MMM, and I was like,I'm I'm not too old to do this,
I can do this. Yeah.Also, there's a scene, of
course, with their in every JamesBond movie, where he puts on a
tucks which is hilarious because in thescene, I'm not giving anything away,
he meets this you know, helpfulother agent in Cuba, right, and
she just happens to have a Tuxedobecause they've got to go into this party,
and it fits him like it wastailored, like Tom Ford personally tailored
it to his body. Well,you know, they have the measurements that
you know on file. Yeah,the agency, but it made me want
to wear a talks because, yeah, kind of wild. See, what's
funny about that is that you sayyou know, you you get inspired by
watching this movie in this man whois, you know, about your age,
and I mean he's five years youngerthan me. That's about your age.
A lot of in your S.that's a lot. You know,
in your S. that's about yourage, of your and your S,
and somebody else is in their baby. There's a huge difference. I can
tell you, from when I wasfifty three to when I'm now fifty eight,
there's a huge difference. It's nota huge difference, it's someone in
it's a man in his S.is a man in his s, and
that's similar. Whereas I was lookingat the watching the same film. Yeah,
and all the women that he wasinvolved with in the film I was
also very inspired by, because theywere all beautiful women, but never once
it was I inspired to look upanything that they did, because they were
all in their twenties. That's onefriend. There's a scene where early in
the film he's with this you know, love interest and shit days love it.
inters she goes she's twenty two yearsold. She's gotta be like twenty
two tops, and that's like thewoman he's loved with and he's like fifty
something. It's like of or JamesBonds ageless ters is of course. Of
course I went down this fucking rabbithole of what a Daniel Craig do to
get in shape for James Bond,and the more I read it I was
like, I don't need to butI don't need to do that. They're
not paying me what they're paying him. It's a commitment, you know,
and it's like you say, foryou you feel like the part of your
job that you get paid for isthe travel, the waiting, the being
in the car, the all thebullshit. Right. Yeah, I feel
like for him when he's actually shootingthe movie, that actual acting and being
creative and doing your art is probablywhat he loves. And the having,
you know, the months beforehand wherehe has to be on a diet and
working out all day this movie that'sstarted getting your bore. Yeah, well,
that is movie was shot a longtime ago, like it was in
the CAN. I feel like that'swhat they feel they get paid for,
is the whole preparation and sacrifices thatyou have to do to physically get in
the condition that you need to getin for a movie, whether it's to
gain weight or lose weight. That'sthat's what you're really being compensated for,
right, yeah, but I meanhe was compensated to the tune probably seventeen
million dollars. We'll be right backafter this short break. If somebody said
will give you seventeen million dollars andgetting really, really good shit, I
be like, okay, shit,I would never eat again. Yeah,
like and way for a way lessthan that, like you could give me
that's a way, not way less, I mean way less. Maybe fifteen
million. Oh Really? Okay,well, it's anybody out there who wants
to offer me eight or seven orfive million dollars to getting that kind of
show work out three times, it'sabsolutely and you know, go down to
like, call me a one hundredcalories a day and not have any joy
in my life. I would bedown for that. No, I read
that he he trained four days aweek, he had two nights a week
he was allowed to drink. Soit wasn't twenty four seven like our friend
Hugh Jackman when he was training forxmen movies. I'd never seen anyone,
excuse me, I've never seen thatlevel of dedication. Yeah, shows on
the in the film's yeah, buthe was also just sort of and you
know, he loves his MARTINIS andhe loves to Quel and he loves sweets
and but he was very discipline.When he says, okay, for the
next three months, I'm going tojust have no joy in my life and
when it comes to food or beverage, he doesn't care. He's just committed
to yeah. Well, in thatcase, if it was just working out
four days a week, like probablytwo or three times a day, right,
and really watching what you eat mostof the time and having almost no
joy in life when it comes tothat and being that discipline, I would
maybe take ten million. Okay,I would do it now. I would
do it for ten. Here's thething, because we talked about working out
in fitness and all the in ourdaily life every day. MMM, we
started doing pilates again yesterday, whichwas great. I'm feeling it in my
abs right now. I thought you'regoing to see im a ass right now.
Well, a little bit on myass as well. Yeah, my
gluts, but I'm really feeling theworkout. I was feeling my ams.
I was feeling to your ass thismorning. She came down in these fucking
tights. I was like God damn, thank you, honey. You know,
I'm sure that a lot of peoplelistening to us in their life,
in their lives it. I'm sureit varies. Some people have had a
lifelong weight problem, some people havehad periods where they've been in better shape
and then gotten lazy. I don'tknow what's good to smile, Tequila voices
going on today? I'm sure it'sall across, you know, all over
the map in terms of levels offitness and weight. HMM. And one
thing that is a deterrent for methese days, in my at my age,
is the idea of getting into thatkind of shape and then having to
maintain it, then having to maintainit. I hear you like I really
believe, not really believe. Ihave in my s and even in my
early S, I've made a commitmentto getting cut into, getting into kind
of the kind of shape that Iwant to be in, whether it's for
a tour or and I never reallyI've never really had a weight problem.
I've never really let myself go oranything like that, but I definitely have
experience. Well, I can't wearthat, that or that because it doesn't
look as good as when I'm reallyin good shape, when I'm the best
time of my fitness life was whenI wasn't even thinking about it. I
was just in routine. It wasvery doable. It was not extreme and
extreme diet, it wasn't. Iwasn't in the gym three hours a day,
was none of that, but itwas a very consistent mindset and once
in a while I would splurge ona desert or something like that, but
I just didn't crave it. Yeah, and I just knew what worked for
me. And now when I tryto just do that again, it does
my body is not responding the sameway as it did five ten years ago.
So the question that I'm putting toyou and our listeners is, isn't
don't you think that that's the ultimatesort of deterrent for people to get it
because they know that they even ifthey get to that place, to then
maintain it. Like when I lookat actors or people who even just people
who we've known, who've made acommitment to get in the best shape they've
ever been in, six or eightmonths later or a year later, they're
kind of not in that shape anymore. And I don't know, part of
me would be like I'd rather havenever been in that shape and miss it
then to have had that and knowthat I'm capable of it and just feel
shitty that I just don't want tocommit to getting back into that shape,
because you can't if you're enjoying lifeand you love food that way we do.
We like a cocktail and it's reallydifficult to maintain that level of fitness.
I think that it's not fair because, you know, even for us,
yes, we're talking about wanting tobe in better shape, but we're
not in bad shape. We're yeah, the true I am definitely, you
know, ten twelve pounds over whatI would like to be, but that's
not, you know, it's notunhealthy, it's not sure, it's can
I work on that, of course, but it's fine. And would you
like to have more muscle definition andbe a little bit more cut and sure,
can you do it? Sure,but we're fine. We were fine
and we're in our s. Welook okay, we're healthy and I think
that it's different. I think ifwe were, you know, thirty pounds
overweight, forty pounds of a weight, and we didn't feel good and we
had some health issues, then wewould have that as motivation to want to
get in better shape. We would. I think that the reason why we're
thinking about, oh, it's goingto suck to maintain that, it is
because we're kind of okay. Wedon't really have a strong motivation to do
that. Yeah, but I'm withyou. You know the time when I
say I started up always being veryslim? Yeah, I started out modeling
in my late teens, right,because I was tall and slim. Just
naturally, I was very, verytall and slim, and I remember getting
into my early s and all thegirls around me were on some sort of
a diet and I had never beenon a diet, so I just naturally
felt like I needed to do someof that. You ate whatever you wanted
back then, right. Yeah.Did you eat pizza? Yeah, yeah,
I did not have a good diet. I ate a lot of junk
food. I did not eat alot of vegematabolism. My Meta was I
didd didn't eat a lot. Ijust I ate more intuitively, where if
I was hungry, I would eatand the minute I felt full, I
didn't think about eating because I justnever grew up around that culture, around
diet culture. Yeah, my motherwould never want on a diet. No
one around me ever was on adiet when I was a kid and it
wasn't until my late teens and mys that I started noticing that all the
models and everybody around me was justobsessed with being overly skinny. So when
I was in my s and Istarted doing some of that stuff, was
when I noticed that I started gettinga couple pounds hmm, and I thought,
wait a minute, I thought Iwas supposed to be losing. I
was fine, and now that I'mdoing what everybody else is doing, I'm
actually gaining some way. And Ilooking back on it, I see that
I was, what I was doingwas fine and a minute that I started
restricting and that I started doing stupidshit. My sort of fucking with your
own metabolic exactly my metabolism was fine. But looking back on it, I
just thought, Oh, you know, I'm in my s now, my
body is changing, I can nolonger. But no, I was screwing
with my metabolism. That's what Iwas doing. Yeah, and then for
the rest of my years I waskind of always okay, I was fine,
but I was always kind of lookingto lose a few pounds. HMM.
Always because that's what everybody around mewas doing. And and you could
never be thin enough and even ifyou look fine, you just always wanted
to be a few pounds dinner.And that's just the culture that we're living
in. And it wasn't until Iwas really in my s, late S
S, that I realize this iscrazy. I'm just going to stop this,
this is nuts. I am I'mnot a model anymore. I'm not
competing with any I'm day. Ijust want to feel good, I want
to look good, I want toeat healthy, and I kind of cut
that out a little bit. Andthen in my s again I hit a
really good stride where I felt reallygood, I lost some of the excess
pounds that I had and again Iwas naturally in a good flow. Until
again in my s, my hormonesreally went nuts, started screwing with a
different that's again. That's a differentanimal. Yeah, than anything else I've
been talking about. That's a completelydifferent animal. But it's crazy how we
obsess over these things, over afew pounds, over what we think we're
supposed to look like, and atthe end of the day it's all really
fashion. It's fashionable whatever society thingsis a good look for the moment,
you know, whether it's muscular orwhether it's slim. And for women,
you know, you go back tothe twiggie days and yeah, the twiggie
days the models were super slim andyou couldn't have any curves and that's what
was attractive. And before that itwas the curvy girl that looked like Marilyn
Monroe, how Welsh and workell Welchand you know. And then after that
it was the curvy girl again,like Cindy Crawford and Claudia Schiffer, and
then after that it was Kate Mosscame around. It was like, oh
no, no, no boobs andno curves and it's skinny again, and
everybody would struggle to fit that molds. And we're on this this hamster wheel
and we're not realizing that we're justpeople. are dictating what is attractive and
we're going along with it and notrealizing how silly it is. When you
were in your S, or evenin your early s and you were still
doing like you were doing your calendarshoots, you were doing bathing suit stuff,
because that was well into your sand early s. Did you at
that point, when you knew youhad a calendar shoot coming up or you
had that interview about your swimsuit thing, whatever, did you alter your diet
and exercise to meet that criteria,or would do was it just sort of
like another day? Slightly? Iwould yeah, a few months before it
I would just clean up my diet. Yeah, I would ease up on
the drinking. He's up on,you know, the bread and the pasta,
and just eat a little healthier andwork out a little bit more.
I would make sure I would go, you know what, hike maybe four
or five days a week and workout two or three times a week,
do by Pilates, and I wasjust a little bit more discipline with that.
Yeah, leading up to the shoot, just I don't think it changed
much, but it made me feela little more confident. HMM. Well,
there's a happy medium in here somewhere. I think we've got it.
I think we are in that happymedium where we're wanting to stay asive.
I'm just not. I'm I'm fifteenpercent away from where I want to be.
So that it's not much. It'sa small tweak, yeah, but
I'm definitely not where I want tobe. But I think that we're working
on it. We're wanting to bemore active. We've just all gone through
a year and a half of justuncertainty and being stuck at home, and
some people use that to lose weightand get in shape and some people just
gained some weight and got out ofshape. I'm the ladder. I also
think the variety is the key,at least for me. What we're doing
now is we have such a widevariety of exercise. Yeah, and you
know, daisy start. I convinceddaisy to start playing tennis. So you've
been taking tennis lessons. I loveit. I really do enjoy my tennis
lessons. I play tennis. Imean I was playing religiously every weekend with
our doctor friend, but at leastI take a lesson every week. I'm
playing today with our tomorrow with ourBuddy Brandon, and we hike at least
three four days a week. Yeah, I play rack up ball with one
of my son's yeah, because it'sone thousand nine hundred and eighty four,
but what a great workout that is. That's a great that's a better workout
than tennis. I think that's key. Finding all these things that you enjoyed
doing, especially things Poloti do outdoorsor things that you can do with friends.
Yeah, that's the key. That'sthe key, and I'm happy with
the fact that we have things thatwe like to do together, things that
we like to do outdoors and thingsthat we will continue to do for years.
By the way, that guys arein there. I've mentioned this,
I'm sure I mentioned this on thepodcast before, but it bears repeating.
I was someone who was like,pilates isn't you know? Plati's is a
thing for women, and it was. So I was such a Dick about
it, like that's not you know, I'm not going to do PLOTTI's,
and you were like, baby,you should just do a session with me,
because you swore by it, andyou used to. Actually you did
an infomercial for it and you've hadpiloties in your life for decades. Yeah,
so I reluctantly went and, HolyShit, it's amazing. It's amazing
best workout ever. It's one ofthe best workouts you'll ever do. It's
in the last couple of years.It's the one single thing that I've seen
transform my body immediately. Like toto Piloti sessions. I can see a
difference of my body and when we'reconsistent with it, that's the best shape
that I'm in is and it's becauseof that. Yeah, spe reality,
it's it's it's such intense core work. You engage your core in every workout
through the whole workout and it's thekind of workout where it the movements are.
They look small, the movements don'tlook intense, it doesn't look like
you're really doing hard work at all, but what you're doing is you're working
all your muscles, especially the smallermuscles around the big muscles that don't normally
get worked out, and you reallyget a full body workout. There's resistance,
there's stretching there, it's just everythingin one yeah, and after I
really recommend doing it about three timesa week and after two weeks you see
a difference. Yeah, I meanyou feel the difference. After the first
workout, you feeling everywhere in yourbody. All your muscles are activated and
your blood is flowing and I feelgreat after that first workout. Yeah,
huge fan. But after a coupleof weeks you really you start seeing a
difference in your body and your postureand your muscles. It longates your body
and it it really is one ofthe most effective workouts, no doubt.
Yeah, what else you got?I have a couple of questions for you
that I've been pondering. I thinkthat they're good. They're going to make
us think a little bit. Hathas your character? Have your character and
humanity been forged more by pleasure andsuccess or by pain and disappointment? Definitely
the ladder, by pain and disappointment. Yeah, because most people would think
that you've been changed because of yoursuccess and fame. No, I've always
felt that that's bullshit. Like Iremember ages ago hearing people say, Oh,
you know, success really turned himinto an asshole. Now, trust
me, he was an asshole beforehe was successful. Yeah, fame and
success doesn't make you into an assholeor a good person. It's the I
think I can only speak for myself. My the lessons I've learned in my
life when it comes to character andintegrity and have all come from disappointment,
from mistakes, from guilt, fromrecognizing an error in behavior. When everything's
great and you're just kicking ass andeverything is working to your advantage, I
don't really know what you really learnedfrom that. It's when you get slapped,
it's when you get smacked in theface or when you have to struggle
through something that you realize what yourcharacter is capable of. And you know
there's a little it's a little bitof a cousin to people like myself who
thrive on sort of the down periodsof your life to be creative. You
know, the best poetry was probablywritten by poets during a anxiety ridden time
of their lives or heartbreaking time.Or, you know, when you're really
happy or when things are really workingwell. It is generally, I think,
not the time that people are introspective. You're just enjoying that time and
you feel like maybe it's not Oh, this is never going to end.
But when you're in the fucking,you know, trenches and you're in the
weeds, that's when you tick stockused and because you have to in order
to get out of the weeds,you have to start coming up with like
a recognizing things in your stuff thatgot you there and hopefully correcting that behavior
in that thinking so that you don'tget ever return. Yeah, we both
became successful and famous, for lackof a better word, young. Yeah,
we're in our S. You know, people knew who we were.
We we we were already were successfulin our s. So for me,
when I was I want to saymy late teens, early T S,
and I started being in magazines andcommercials and on television, I started I
was the same and I realized thatsome of the people around me started acting
to that. For sure, that'sfor sure. So when people say,
you know, do you find thatfame changed you? I realized, and
I remember distinctly, that it changedpeople around me absolutely. It becomes harder
and harder to find people who willtell you the truth, who will just
behave the way that they always did. Yeah, yeah, there are a
few people who stick around who willalways treat you the same and who be
your good friends, but a lotof other people do change. And then,
as time went by, I didrealize that I learned more from pain
and disappointment, and that affected definitelymy character and also my humanity, because
I would realize that even the peoplewho were around me who hurt me or
who used me, I would findit within me to have some compassion towards
them, you know, and seeexactly what was happening, whether it was
their jealousy or their envy or theirlack or just their mental state that caused
them to use me. And atthe end of the day, I was
the same person and I was stillabove it and they're still in their misery,
and that made me have some compassionand forgiveness for them. So that
also taught me a lot about humanity. Yeah, but yeah, I would
say that I've learned by both.I think that my character and humanity have
been forged by pleasure, by success, by pain and by disappointment. I
think it all for me at all, not equally, not equally, you
know. No, I think that'sprobably true of everyone. I've never heard
anyone say that period of three yearswhere I was the happiest in my life
and everything I did work great,great and I was King of the world.
I learned more from that time.No, I never hear that.
I learned a lot from those timestoo. I did. I learned a
lot about my my state of mind, and I think that the periods of
my life where I was very happyand I was having a lot of success,
I tried to think about what mystate of mind was and how I
contribute it to that, and Ialways tried to go back and re enact
that MMM feeling and that time andwhere I was in my head, because
that's what caused it. Me Itmy head, my mind, my thoughts,
is what created those times. Yeah, so I always tried to reflect
on that and recreate it. Well, my my most commercially successful period of
time in my life was also oneof the most unhappy. And on paper
it look great. You know.I was in a I was in a
good relationship, I was starting tohave kids, everything I did was successful.
It just kept getting bigger and biggerfor like, you know, a
good eight nine years there were therewas like just nothing but hits and big
tours and opportunities and recognition and allthat stuff. And but I was in
my mid S and late s andstill figuring out who I was and I
remember especially those first three or fouryears of when, when success hit big,
I was anything but happy, HMM. I was the opposite. I
would find myself on the road,you know, coming off the stage,
playing on arena full of people andjust feeling really lonely and unhappy and disillusion
because, and I think it's reallyit's a it's not uncommon for you to
have this idea in your head ifthis, this, this and this happens,
I'm going to be happy right.And then all those things happen and
it's all based upon bullshit. YouThink, oh well, if I make
this amount of money, or ifI have this many hits, or if
I have, you know, inmy in my case, you know,
writing hit songs or having hit songs, if I win a grammy, if
I play radio, sitting a call, if I'd like do these things,
these lists that we all make forourselves, then that then I'll be happy,
right. And if you're lucky enoughand diligent enough to check off those
things on that list, chances areyou're going to go wow, this is
not what it was supposed to feellike, and there's no preparation or handbook
to deal with that realization. Soall you're left with is disillusionment. You're
left with Shit. I did everythingright, I did everything I said I
was going to do, and nowI'm here and I feel exactly the same.
In fact, I feel worse,because you're the same person. Will
be right back after this short break. But here's where what I was getting
to is that before you had anyof that, you were, it seems
to me, a happy person.You were a happy kid with a good
upbringing, with a happy life withgood parents. So you are already in
no good place and I think thatwas it. Maybe that you were looking
for some sort of better life,for something for you to feel even better
than you did, because you youhad a good life. I did.
Yeah, so could that have beena factor? Maybe that you weren't struggling
really and that then you got everythingthat you wished for? I have spent
a tremendous amount of money on therapiststry to figure this out over the years,
and it's one of the still elusivepieces of the puzzle. Let's get
out on the Tipe of what.The why? The what like why?
It really doesn't make sense to me. Still doesn't make sense to me,
because you're right, I was.But there's also just there are things that
are still puzzling to me about myadolescence, especially my high school years,
because you're right, I had greatparents. I lived a really nice life
my you know, my father wassuccessful, so I lived in a nice
house and I wanted for nothing.I had love and encouragement, I had
a talent which I was nurturing,and yet I was down. I had
a sort of like this. Mymy mother used to talk about it a
lot. She said there was alwayssomething in you that was melancholy. In
the best of times, there wouldjust be and maybe it was a component
of being an only child or Iwas alone a lot. I preferred my
own company and maybe to the pointwhere that contributed to some depression or loneliness,
or some of it was. I'msure a lot of it was selfimposed.
Maybe you just a little bit ofa Dick, or maybe it's just
a bit of a Dick. Wheredid that come from? I love me
anyway. I love you very callsme a Dick on a daily yeah,
well, is Yourn Dick. It'syour name. Why are you being seed
Dick? I'm LEA's because that's whoI am. You love me anyway.
In what period since you were ateenager. Do you think you had the
most personal growth or change? Oh, hands down the period ending my first
marriage and being forced to figure outwho I was as an individual and meeting
you and and doing the and enteringinto a new relationship which was so different.
We've talked about this on the podcastthat I think people tend to repeat
relationships. They tend to if theyend a relationship, the next person there
with is sort of like another versionof the person they were with before.
And when I started falling in lovewith you, I recognize how incredibly different
you were from anyone I'd ever known. And you know, it's one of
the things that this is kind ofpersonal, but one of the things that
I'm the most proud of, ina weird way, is how dramatically I
changed my life at that point intime. Yeah, you know, I
essentially shook it all up. Itwasn't just Oh, I got divorced,
but everything else is the same.I changed everything, almost everything. Yeah,
I changed my spiritual outlook, Ichanged what I read, I changed
my thinking so dramatically. I wasalways curious. All through my life I've
been curious and open to new ideas, but it was very easy to just
keep doing what seemed to be workingand to not challenge my intellect, to
not challenge my my assessment that,oh, this is how it works.
And during that period, you know, eight years ago ish, where it
wasn't just Oh, I'm getting divorcedand now I'm single and then I met
you and then we you know,wasn't that. It was I need to
change everything, I want to tryto do everything I've been doing differently than
I've been doing it. Yeah,so I welcomed growth and I welcomed to
change. I I still do.I think it's really important. I think
it's it's the single most important lessonI've learned is to not stick to anything,
to not stick to a particular ideologyabout anything. So if you wanted
to have another such period without goingthrough a second divorce, don't think that
can afford it. Don't know,you can't. Don't, because don't think
I missed that whole my first marriage, as if there was going to be
a third. Right. What didyou want me to say? There's no
other way to say previous. Well, you could just say your divorce,
because you've only had one. Idon't call it was not like I'm calling
you. My second way is,if there's do you have third? If
I will say your first marriage,that makes me your second, as if
there's going to be a third.Now that's all in your head. Well,
I'm saying stopping to change. Youwere thinking. You just need to
stop it. So, if youwanted to have another period of change like
that, without going through a seconddivorce, what do you think you could
do to bring about that change orto shake up your life like you did
during that time? Would you wantto? Yeah, I plan to,
except for the divorce part. II think it's I don't think it should
ever be. Okay, it's beenfour years, so now I'm going to
shake everything up. I don't thinkit should be that way. I think
you should be always in a constantyou should always be a constant version of
a sponge, of being malleable,of being open. Yeah, and I
think that. I think that thatperiod of time eight years ago was the
beginning of me being that way forthe rest of my life, right,
so I saw. Yeah, somaybe now you can't have a an obvious
period of change and growth because youknow, for twenty years prior to that,
you were just kind of static andyou were on a roll doing what
you did, and it was justthat, and then you had this change
in your life that never stopped.Right. So now, if you're looking
for another period like that, youcan't really have it because you're in a
constant state of that. Right.I feel like we both are. I
feel like we're constantly in a stateof yeah, I've always been involving and
open, and one of the thingsthat I admire the most about you is
that you are relentlessly pursuing new ideasand even to the point where I'm like,
really, you're watching this thing attwo o'clock in the morning, but
it's never frivolous. It's always somelecture or interview, or it was.
It's always something that is thought provoking. You're always looking to be enlightened in
a different way. Yeah, andsometimes some of the things that I read
or watch or learn about I discar, but I need to learn about it
in order to say that's not rightor that's not something that I agree with,
or yeah, or sometimes it leadsme to something much bigger. Yeah,
better question or more answers, oryeah, down a different path.
I feel like my spiritual path issomewhat set in stone, but they're just
always I'm always looking for new waysto look at it or open to being
surprised. Yeah, you know,something is I'll give you, as a
specific example, my guy that Iwork with, who's my therapist for years
now, who I consider a prettybrilliant man. His spiritual path has been
really interesting and sometimes the concept ofsort of this what I was considered with,
the sort of Hippie flowery you know, look at the trees in the
place blow me, you know Imean. But when you're open to it,
there was. You were there becausewe were taking a walk. We
were in Malibu and I was Ihad gotten through my this horrible illness last
year and and we turned a cornerand there was a tree in front of
us and I was I was stoppedby its beauty. I stopped. I
just stood there and stared at it. HMM. And I've I have in
the last year. You don't havethat. Yeah, I have started to
pay more attention to other life forms. I've started to pay more attention to
trees and plants and clouds and labrardsthat guy. Yeah, and you know
what, it makes me feel reallygood. It's amazing. Yeah, I've
always been like that and I absolutelyneed to be in nature and to notice
the little things when I'm out walkingaround. I have always noticed those things,
whether it's, you know, abutterfly, of flower cloud, of
a bug, whatever. Yeah,I love it. I feel like we're
all connected to it and we haveto realize that we are all connected to
it. We have to notice allthose things and I love that you have
become so much more aware of yoursurroundings. Yeah, well, I think
and you. Do you think thatthat's because of your therapy work that you've
done? Yep, partly. Yeah, for sure. Or do you think
it's also me saying Oh, youdon't notice anything? It's both. Here's
what it is. Here's the chain, here's the chain of events. You
say you don't notice anything and thenthat annoys me. So in therapy I
say she's always complaining that I don'tnotice things, and then he says,
well, maybe you should notice morethings, like like trees and yeah,
and then I'm like, Oh,well, I right the way he put
it. Huh. So you getwhat you want? Yeah, yeah,
right, almost like when I wastelling you that you're doing your hair wrong.
Yeah, and you ignored me andthat annoyed at me, but then
you looked it up. Yeah,and then you realize that I was right
and you're right and you started doingthat. Yeah, but I think one
thing that's a really important point too, to really accentuate, is if you're
the kind of person who is interestedin in growth, intellectual, spiritual,
all of that, and you're ina relationship with someone who's not particularly interested
in that, that's going to bea problem. Does that's what problem though?
Yeah, it's a problem and Ican tell you that I look,
I have, I never have theslightest bit of pause or anxiety about our
relationship when it comes to that,because I know that that's the kind of
person you are and we're we're interestedin rethinking and being open to new ideas,
not just collectively but individually. Ithink it helps if both people are
on similar journeys and both people areopen minded. Hells, yeah, it
does help. But if you are, if you all of a sudden decide
that you want to be that kindof person, and the person that you're
with is fine the way they are, but they encourage you to read more,
to to to watch documentaries, toexplore, to open your mind,
they support you. That's fine.I think the problem comes when someone doesn't
want you to change just because theydon't want to. That's the problem.
But you can certainly explore more andopen your mind and be of that,
be of that mindset, even ifthe person that you're with isn't. MMM,
I think that. I think Idon't agree with that. I think
it can work that way, butit's really difficult. I think. Imagine
if if you were constantly wanting towatch, you know, documentaries, or
read things or be interested in newideas, and I never, ever,
I was like no, that's fine, honey, but I never had any
interest in looking at way you hadto say, you know, watching what
you had to say. You don'talways want to know what I'm reading.
Always watching. You know that it. But generally I'm completely open to new
ideas and I'm yes, I'm doingmy own version of that. Yeah,
and that's fine. Times the onlyconflict we have is I'm doing my version
of it and you're like, stopwhat you're doing and we get mine,
because mine is so much better.No, no, I think the problem
would come in if you started shuttingdown what I was doing, if you
were saying that's just so stupid,right, or why are you wasting your
time doing that? Yeah, thatwould be a problem. So somebody is
shutting down what you're doing, ifsomebody is making you feel silly for wanting
to research something or expand your mindor become more enlightened about something, then
that's when it starts, mate,when it's when someone starts making you feel
bad about anything. Yeah, thatyou want to learn or do. Yeah,
I'm all for whatever way, whateveryou want to try or anything that
you're interested in doing, I mightjump right in there with you. Yeah,
but either I if I don't,I'm still going to cheer you on.
HMM, totally, and I wantto hear all about it. Right.
That's that's the way it should be. I think anything other than that
can be a problem and I cansee how it can be annoying and depressing.
Yeah, but people make it work. You know, you did.
Not Everybody who want to just makeit. Now I'm saying that people who
have a good relationship and not everybodyis the same, that everybody enjoys the
same things and there are people whohave different hobbies, different ideas, different
pleasures and and still have a goodrelationship, you know, because they do
their own things, of course,and come together and and they don't,
they're fine with it. Yeah,I'm just saying it's more fun when when
you have the support, and it'sone of my one of the gifts of
my life, is the conversations thatwe have. Yeah, especially when one
of us has just learned something orhas found a new interest. Yeah,
you want, of course I wantto share with you and of course you
want to share it with me,and we're both really open to that.
I love that we turn each otheronto, yeah, new ideas and new
concepts, and that's key, beingable to have a conversation about the things
that you're interested in, especially overreally good Tequila. Yeah, good,
that felt good. I felt likea little mini therapy session, I told
you. Yeah, it's good.That'll be five hundred dollars, hum HMM.
Can take it out in trade.Thank you, guys, for listening
and have a great week and we'llsee you next week. By thanks for
listening to Tequila Talk With Daisy pointsand Richard Marks. download new episodes every
week and, if you haven't already, subscribe and be sure to leave us
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