EPISODE 2: Johnny Knoxville

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Show Notes

In our first episode of The Shittiest Podcast w/ Poopies, we have one of Poopies' all-time heroes, Johnny Knoxville. 

Produced by Tyler Nielsen & Ryan Tillotson

Written By Frank Driscoll

From Straw Hut Media 

Transcript


All right, okay, cool,
all right, you guys hide all this

shit. Oh hello, well,
poopies hides all that Shit. Let me

introduce myself. I'm not poopies and
this is not the poopies podcast as originally

advertised. It's a long story,
so I'll give you the clips notes.

poopies wanted to make a podcast,
just like everyone else. Ever, on

paper, poopy seemed like a great
podcast host, with his vast experience in

film, his long list of famous
friends, his athletic prowess, his many

exciting travel stories and his easygoing,
zero fucks given attitude. Turns out you

shouldn't judge a book by its cover. In reality, poopies is arguably one

of the worst podcasts hosts in the
entire world. Preparedness, depth of story

and show structure are foreign concepts to
this man. He should be permanently banned

from podcast hosting, but Straw hut
media felt bad for the guy, so

we've decided to try and make it
work. We rebranding the show as the

shittiest podcast, because even if this
podcast makes us look stupid, at least

the title tells the truth. So, now that you know what you're getting

yourself, into join me, the
narrator. That's raw hut media, hired

to try to salvage poopies attempt at
hosting the shittiest podcast in the world.

But I got some questions for you. Okay, glad to see you're prepared.

Well, yours together for popies by
freaking got in, so good.

Just whoo to h huge barrel.
Oh that's sweet. Yeah, I was

sick. I was stoked the shittiest
podcast in the world. Let's begin.

We're all podcast begin with an introduction. All right, you guys. Welcome,

welcome. Today we have a very, very, very, very very

special guest, Johnny Knoxville. Since
puppies didn't prepare a bio for Knoxville,

will give you a brief background.
Johnny Knoxville is an American stunt performer,

actor and filmmaker. He's best known
as a CO Creator and star of the

MTV reality stunt show Jackass, which
are for three seasons from two thousand to

two thousand and two. A year
later, Knoxville and his costars returned for

the first installment in the jackass film
series, with a second and third installment

being released in two thousand and six
and two thousand and ten respectively. Jackass

forever is released in two thousand and
twenty two, which he said will be

his final contribution to the jackass franchise. Hey, POOPI's, how you doing,

buddy? Let's up. Did I
can't believe you're in white. Vodcast

do this is sick. Here I
am. Did you? Did you prepare

for the interview, or did you, I know, wing it. I

freelanced it. Yeah, I winged
it. You weren't studying my bio today

and think you have good questions.
I did, actually I did. I

got some for you. Okay,
like I see you're prepared. Yeah,

but I got some questions for you. I just gotta find them. You're

about to hear poopy's stall for time
while he searches for those questions he claims

to have prepared. How is how
is Germany? Oh, it was good.

We promoted Jack Ass forever over there
and kind of lost my voice promoting.

That's that's good. That means loading, that means you did a good

job. Real number one of POOPI's
laws of the universe. In order to

do a good job, one mustn't
find one's voice, one must lose one's

voice. Jeff actudentally got lit on
fire a couple times in the bars.

Oh, no way, yeah,
epic. Yeah, Sig, I saw

you guys were cruising in that.
Some old school car you have was a

East German car that they made into
a stretch limo too. Yeah, so

it's made plastic. No Way,
oh my God, that's safe. Yeah,

well, safe enough. Yeah,
for sure, that's sick. Mid

Conversation, puppies has finally found the
interview questions on his phone, so he

needs to find a way to naturally
segue into them without being too a brought.

There's a couple questions for you.
Knocks. Did you write these yourself

or these is there from ex girlfriend? Oh, how long has she been

your x? For a while,
member, when we are talking a lot.

But you still talk to her?
Or she really these questions a long

time ago? No, no,
I still talked to her. These are

just these were May. These came
up today. These because she a writer

on this show. No, but
she thinks she might get hired. This

is the first time we were hearing
about hiring POOPI's exgirlfriend. Please take anything

this man says with a grain of
salt. Let's see. Let's see what

what we think of the questions.
But yeah, I remember that member,

that chick, when I was telling
you about where I shoot, I broke

her heart. There were me and
Steve O was sat down after poopies.

I get so many photos of girls
from you there is no way to remember.

I know, I know, all
right. Um, anyways, okay,

first question. Okay, what kind
of kid were you growing up?

Were you always wild? This is
actually a great question. In podcasting we

often like to start with the guests
origin story. Huge thanks to poopy's acts

for this one. I guess I
was a little rambunctious when I was little.

I had asthma really bad, so
I was in the hospital a lot.

So I but I played all the
sports like basketball, baseball, football,

but every now and then I'd have
to go to hospital because my wheezy.

Yeah, that also I was either
going full bore or had to come

to a complete stop. Fuck it, as Mustnari. Yeah, well,

it's okay, I'm doing okay,
I know, I know. I just

saw my friend had asthma and he
would always have to he couldn't like do

a lot of sports and stuff like
that, like you're saying, like yeah,

limited him from yeah, I try
not to let it limit I mean,

I don't know what his degree of
asthma was, probably worse than mine,

but I didn't want to your kid
and I didn't want it to be

limited by it. Yeah, because
I didn't even think about I was like,

okay, this is one thing I'm
dealing with and I'll deal with it

the best I can, because you
when your kids, you don't. I

didn't think about like, Oh,
this is going to limit me. You

try to work around that kind of
thing. Okay, yeah, yeah,

for sure. Yeah, sort of
out of nowhere, boobies remembers his favorite

thing, surfing. So naturally he
hijacked the conversation like the stellar host that

he is. I went to Lahoya
for this last well and we serve this

reef slab and no one can get
into it because they're on short boards,

and I had the big eight foot
log jackass board, but I freaking got

in so good. Just foom,
too huge barrel. Oh, that's sweet.

Yeah, I was sick. I
was stoked. Yeah, but I've

been using that board you guys gave
me. So how was it not surfing

for a while after? Do Long
Did you go without surfing after the shark

biting accident, but I won't like
six months, maybe five months. And

that was the worst too, because
it happened in May and then all summer

long I was in my room just
chilling and their south swells going off.

I was like freak. I was
like so I just really couldn't really look

at my phone or anything. Like
can look at the boys stories or anything,

because they're all on surf trips and
Shit, and I was like stuck

in my bed. In surfing like
helps you relax and like evens you out,

like it helps me for sure,
Dude. And so were you doing

anything during those six months to replace
that? I mean I'd go and check

the waves. I was all I
could do. Pretty much. Is just

no other kind of exercise or UM
masturbation. Jerking it. Stale fish.

Yeah, stellfish, and I'd try
the stranger that I called the stranger now

because I can't feel half of it. Stranger is poopis happed. He was

attacked by a shark and can only
feel half of his hand now. So,

yeah, I try the stranger and
how that go? It could I

couldn't do it really. Yeah,
I was weird. It just wasn't it

just didn't feel right. Small about
the leverage? Right? Yeah, yeah,

the leverage. No, yeah,
this is weird. Yeahs couldn't get

it really, but yeah, but, yeah, it's surfings like my passion.

And I seen that you've been,
sir, you started surfing. Yeah,

yeah, I haven't been surfing for
a little bit, but I love

it. Yeah, you know,
I've only been surfing like three years and

I'm terrible, but I love it. Yeah, I got away for that

warm water. Yeah, it's old
water here. Yeah, they'll cord water

sucks, dude. And I'm in
a forthree like, even if it's ninety

degrees, I'm in a three wetsuit
because I can't take the cold. Yeah,

unprompted, poopy suddenly realizes he forgot
Johnny's birthdays. Today, today's your

birthday. Yeah, today. Yeah, happy birthday, thanks, poops.

How do I not know that?
I don't know. I think there's a

little few things. It might escape
you, but that's okay. Fuck,

Dude, I'm I feel so bad. Don't worry about it. What is

today? Happy fucking birthday, did
man, dude, fifty, fifty one

hundred and fifty one. Yea Holy
Shits, Thee Eleventh. So it's march

eleven. You're right, poopies.
Damn, yeah, I'm gonna Fuck Dude.

I'm sorry that no, happy birthday. D Oh, thanks, poopy's.

Why didn't anyone's put anything on the
group text? I don't know,

I don't know. I'm want to
put Oh, I see it now,

want to put it right now.
Happy Birthday, knoks. Oh well,

you texted me right now and the
group message. Yeah, Legend at a

moment of clarity, poppies remembers that
this is a podcast and he's here to

host it, which means he needs
to get back to his questions. So,

if you had a passion, what
would it be like? What?

Outside of work? Yeah, my
kids. Yeah, yeah, because if

I'm in town, I just,
you know, just cruise with the kids.

Yeah, that's what's up. I
seen that. I saw that about

you and I that's freaking awesome.
Dude. Yeah, they're the most fun.

It's so sad. I want some
kids one day. Dude. Well,

you keep going the way you're going, you're going to have a few.

I'm waiting for one. Screaming Jay
Hawkins had seventy five shut I think

you can top that. No,
hope. Seventy five kids. I would

have to start when I was like
thirteen. That's crazy. Here, there's

all the same way. No Way, I'm kidding about the same way.

I was gonna say, Holy Shit. Oh, I believed you first.

I need everything. So your path
and outside to work as your kids.

Yes, that's awesome. And they
s surfing to yeah, they serve for

the skateboard. Sick and Rocco plays
baseball. I helped coach his team.

Say. Yeah, yeah, so
don't give him any special treatment because he's

because, you know, it's I
mean it's all the kids get treated the

same. Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, so that's all. Love that.

Yeah, when I was little I
always wanted my parents to be the

coach, but they're always busy working
and stuff without that's awesome. Yeah,

can we go look at another question? Yeah, okay. At his wits

end, Johnny Knoxville has no other
choice but to take over the job of

podcast host by hijacking the conversation and
pivoting to part five of this episode.

The EX girlfriend, and this is
from your ex girlfriend, from my ex

girlfriend. She's what's the chance of
reconciliation? What's that mean? Reconciliation,

the restoration of friendly relations. Sorry, what's the chance of you guys getting

back together? I don't know,
it's I don't know. Now let's watch

poopies attempt to take back the role
of host with this doozy of a question.

Let's see what I'll sea gave us
for a question. What is your

favorite jackass memory from filming over the
years? HMM, my favorite memory,

I don't know, like a specific
like people ask me about a favorite bit.

You know, HMM, could have
been off camera, on camera.

Yeah, yeah, but I will
say that with this just jumped in my

head and I don't know it's my
favorite memory, but it's one of them.

It was on the first day of
Jackass D and first of all,

Bam and Ryan Dunne called the police
on air and said there was a stalker

on set. Shut the fuck and
a police helicopter came over and Arran ran

into the woods. Yeah, like
he had done something. Yeah, and

then we finally started filming. Panti
has had a knife and it in and

he was trying to stab Aaron and
this was like we had a d crew,

like we have a whole separate crew
in Jeff is like senny in front

of a monitor with headphones, but
we can't shoot because Pontius is trying to

stab Aaron, and so I have
to go over to jeff and I'm like,

Jeff, Pannie's just trying to stab
Aaron, and Jeff gets up and

he takes off the headphones. He's
like fuck, Pontius, come here,

give me the night by he's like
give me the night okay, and then

we can go back to film me. That's me. Yeah, some aaren

really took it on the Chin that
first day. Ha. That's awesome.

Partis loves his Nice Yeah, and
hatchets, hatchits, I remember. We

are makes them. Yeah, we're
on set and he brought a hatchet that

he made. Yeah, and he
knows all about the history of the knives

and the hatchets and you'll walk you
through it. That's not it. A

little so all right. I remember
he came to the beach to play with

Rocko and Arlod did him and make
him to play with Rocko and Arlove my

kids, and he had his hatchets
on them and he had some twine where

he made a sling shot twine and
some sticks and he had things for him

to shoot. That's so think.
WHO DOES THAT RADIUS? Yeah, mcguiver.

We'd like to take a moment here
to congratulate poppies on knowing what mcguiver

means. Poppies has just earned his
first gold star. will be telling those

all season. He mcguiver, just
slink shot. Yeah, or was it

a bow and Arrow? is a
bow and Arrow like overways crazy. That's

so funny. He whittled the arrows. Now let's hear knoxville effortlessly steal back

the hosting role. And what were
you like as a kid growing up,

poppies? Dude, I was freaking
wild Bro like and kindergarten, I guess

I was. I don't even remember
this, my mom told me. I

guess I was in school and I
guess I just got up out of my

my seat one day and started jumping, got on the desk, on top

of the desk, started jumping from
desk to desk to desk. That's pretty

good. Yeah, so, and
that's when I got diagnosed with adhd oh.

Really when? Yeah, you couldn't
sit still. Yeah, that that

stayed with you all of school and
the little kind of things. Did they

put you on any kind of medication? Yeah, so I started taking riddling

when I was in like kindergarten.
Right. It was nine pills a day.

Nine pills, three milligram. I
have no clue, but it was

like zero in the morning, three
at launch and then three at night every

day for like fucking thank you you
sleep. I could sleep, but it

was just fuck. I was just
always like focused or like, I don't

know quite I take it. I'd
be all quiet, you know, I'd

like I'd like clam up kind of. Yeah, it's weird how they give

you speed for hyperactivity. Yeah,
dude, it was a way I understand

it is like a part of your
brain that calms you down is not working,

so they give you speed to like
amp you up, to wake that

part of the brain up. So
it's like, Oh, Oh, I

forgot my job. A better calm
you down right, but I don't know.

Yeah, I'm no doctor, Dude. I honestly I freaking hated take

I hated taking it in how long
did you take it? Dude? I

took it from kindergarten to like third
grade. And why'd you come up of

it? And third great, because
I would just I would take it and

I wouldn't be myself you know,
and then I remember not taking it and

I'd be wild and freaking awesome and
you know what I mean. And then

some my mom like take your pills
and I'm like fuck, these pills did

in. So you decided in third
grade you were taking them anymore or you

here? Yeah, I did.
Yeah, I would. I would like

wait for them to go away and
then like throw them away, you know.

But so they thought you were taking
the thought I was taking how long

did that go on? Maybe like
till my junior year of high school?

No, no, no, I
probably did that from like it was like

third grade, I think, to
like fifth fifth grade, I think,

in between their in then fifth grade, fifth grade, I I just gave.

I started giving to my brother to
sell. So how long did you

take them? In? Your parents
thought you were taking them for like six

months, from third grade to fifth
grade. Rule number two of these laws

of the universe avoid math at all
costs. Oh, I was no,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I
hadn't honestly, I'm trying to think.

I don't even remember how right.
Honestly, I don't even remember how long.

was there ever a decision by your
parents? Okay, you don't have

to take him anymore. No,
they just found out wasn't taking them and

then they're like you need to take
your pills, and then I get back

on them. And then that's when
I my brother was in high school and

he started selling them. How much
was he making off of them? I

think like five bucks each or some
shit. And did he cut any money

to you? No, no,
how could? How did you negotiate?

I didn't. He all just like
take these things, I don't want them,

and he's like I okay, like
I can sell them. I was

like fine, sell them, but
yeah, I didn't get any money.

No half seas, no ABS.
He's well, you are sweet man.

Yeah, do you have any brothers
or sisters? Have two older sisters.

Oh No, yeah, yeah,
eight and ten years older. Nice to

day. Did they toughen you up
when you're a little? Yeah, yeah,

they they they spoiled me, but
they also like would throw me around

and all their friends would. You
know, in high school, like I

was programmed to do whatever my sisters
or their friends or my father told me

to do. You know, like
yeah, three or four I'd walk in

a room and all the men would
cover up their nuts because my father would

always put me to hitting people,
up to hiding people in the nuts shut

I was in assassage, and that's
filthy smood. Dudes in your blood,

the filthiest mouth for years up just
swear, like terrible, filthy poems I

would tell and where filthy jokes.
Know where they be? Like, Johnny,

say this, yeah, and then
I didn't you know, they'd had

me tell jokes that I didn't know
what. Yeah, I mean just,

yeah, you just know why it
was bunker hill so slick, why the

British were coming. You know,
I was like yeah, four or five

telling people that jokes and then I'd
be like I don't get it, and

then they'll be more like yeah,
that's so good. But I was a

like mean kid when I was like
before kindergarten. Really I was a but

just not like mow spirited, just
like Anri know. I was just put

up to do. I was their
plaything and they are. Yeah, have

they made things? They had fun
with you. Yeah, I remember like

going to Chattanooga to my cousin's house
and one of the guys, Zippyl,

was really into wrestling and he would
pile drive me all the time. No

Way. Yeah, it's stick his
head, my head between his legs,

just on the ground and boom.
I remember a couple times like it would

my bell would be wrong. I'd
see stars, I bet you so.

So, yeah, you got you
got brought up not in the most nicest

environment. No, it was,
I mean. But then also they would,

you know, all the my sister's
girlfriends would always pick at me all

the time. So I love that. Yeah, yeah, for sure,

I know it was. I thought
it was great to be able to act

up as much as I did,
but my mom didn't like when I did

that, so I had to like
temper it around her. Yeah, that's

awesome. Yeah, I remember.
Was Your Dad working all the time?

Yeah, he owned the Tire Company. Oh Nice, so, but I

mean he worked all day, very
hard job, you know, very lot

of manual labor, for sure,
but he would come home and like he

was always at every my mom and
dad, I don't think ever missed a

baseball game or a basketball gamer football
game. I did. They always drove

me to practices all time. I
was going to travel team in baseball and

like travel around the south to play
baseball sick and yeah, they were always

in the stands and super support of
that way. That's awesome. Yeah,

yeah, parents are awesome. I
know you gotta really take advantage of them

while they're while are still here.
For sure should. We are your old

manner close right. Oh, dude, me and my pops are freaking like

brothers did. He's from New York
and so he still has that New York

mentality, you know, like yeah, I don't give a fuck. You

know he don't. He doesn't give
a fuck. Like what part of York

he grew up in? And a
long island and then, but you grew

up in Missouri. So I was
born in Riverside because my mom was a

valley girl in San Ardino Valley.
So my mom was a valley girl.

My Dad was in the military m
and he was a door guy at this

bar in Sanbordino and they done they'd
close the bar and have have chicks after

hours. So he goes up to
my mom. He Goes Hey, you

want to stay after you know,
and hang out? She goes yeah,

I'll stay after. So they close
the bar down and then he invited my

mom to come hang out after hours
and that's how they met and the rest

is history. And the rest is
history. What service was in. He

was in the Marines, right.
Yeah, he was a mechanic, a

jet mechanic. HMM. Yeah,
so he was always just trying to fix

all the engines and get them going
and stuff. But yeah, he actually

went to England and they got the
first double seeded Harrier, so you know,

the hairy like this takes off,
like yeah, so that's what he

worked on. Wow. So,
yeah, they flew him over to to

England to put together the two seater
and fly back. That's great. Yeah,

yeah, it's pretty cool stuff.
I say. He's got pictures of

them in the Harriers, like it's
pretty sick shit now. But did he

continue working in aviation after you got
out of the military? Yeah, he

got out of the military and then
he actually, I think he started doing

a lot bunch of drugs and shit
and fucking kind of like we kind of

lost them for a while, right, and then he got a shit together

and then I remember he's like getting
out of jail or something. He worked

out the San Diego Airport and he
was a fuel tanker and he'd call us

when he's at the at the end
of the the takeoff and he'd be calling

us at the end like yeah,
I'm just at the end boys watching this

plane takeoff San Diego. I was
like we want to go to San Diego.

Right. So that's when. Can
you say what he was in jail

for? He got to do.
I never paid for it. Right.

So he now. Long was he
away from you? Well, he was

away from us for a while.
He would be like off and on,

you know, like he I don't
know, he was probably part he was

partying, you know, he just
he's a party guy and he would he'd

tell us, hey, we're going
to come get you on the whet,

I'll come get you on the weekend. You know, could come stay with

me on the weekend. We're like
fuck, yeah, and then sometimes and

then we fuck, he won't show
up. Yeah, and now I was

like fucking devastating, you know.
Yeah, that's rough. You kind of

like lose trust and someone. You
know, my dad drank too, and

it was kind of he mean,
he was always home, but when he

came home drunk, it was it
was it was no good. Did you

eventually move out to live with your
father? Yeah, when you yeah,

what age? I move back?
I moved to Carlsbad, California in eighth

grade. Right, so I was
weird because from Missouri to Carlsbad has a

big change. But it sucked because
we left my little brother Dude right like

to you, and I felt so
bad for a little brother Dude. So

you just you moved me and my
older brother right, because I couldn't really

leave my older brother, you know, like I looked up to him so

much and like kind of followed him, you know, so I couldn't really

like separate from him, right,
but I felt so bad for my little

brother Dude, because he was only
like maybe like six or seven, you

know, and he looked up to
us like he was like that's a different

fuck. Is that different father?
Yeah, different father, but he was

still like our father, you know. He Yeah, stock brother. Yeah,

Scott Ellis, that's my Stepdad,
and Cody Allis, that's my little

brother m but yeah, my Stepdad
fucking is. He's the man, Dude.

He's so cool. He makes moonshine. Oh really, yeah, he's

the one who makes moonshine. We'll
have him, since I'm out, I

know. I fucking had some to
send out for it for you and then

they wouldn't check my luggage bad and
they freaking I couldn't bring it. Oh,

they checked your luggage bag. It's
yeah, yeah, they busted me.

It was in a fucking it was
like a like olive oil bottle.

Reported into that and I wrote on
it with a Sharpie poopy, poopy shot.

I'm Oh, wow, yeah,
yeah, St you, and it's

so disguising. It in the olive
oil bottle. You just took that all

the way by putting poopy shine.
I should have put that on there,

Dude. I was like, Fuck
Shit. Did they ever guess? I

was like fuck, I should have, should have waited to put that on

there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but, yeah, I

will have to get some for you. Maybe you can ship some out.

Yeah, I'm we've been trying to
do that, but we don't know how.

He's been trying to trying to do
that, but well, I mean,

I don't this is just me spitball
and you get those Mason Jars.

Legally, we can't let you here
Knockskilles moonshine trafficking, know how, because

he could get in trouble. You're
not missing much, though. The advice

wasn't very good be said. Yeah, I'm a big fan of popcorn SOTTON.

Yeah, I'm I got to meet
him. That's so sick, dude.

Yeah, he was an amazing person. Like if you called central casting

in said send me a Tennessee moonshiner
and they sent popcorn Soton, you're like

no, that's too unbelievable. Right, because he looked exactly what you think

a Tennessee moonshiner looked like. Skinny
old guy overalls, big long beard and

he he yeah, he was getting
ready to go to prison, right,

because he was a moonshiner up.
But he did a lot of videos on

making moonshine. Yeah, if you're
you know, if you're selling something illegal,

don't make video. Don't make videos, or if you're trying to transport

something illegal, don't write poopy shine
on it. Yeah, for sure he

committed the cardinal sin. Did popcorns
the man? Yeah, but yeah,

Missouri, Missouri was fun, Dude. I freaking grew up on a farmhouse.

They paid my parents, my mom
and Stepdad, paid four hundred bucks

a month for five route, five
bedroom farmhouse. Wow, yeah, four

hundred bucks a month and we had
ten acres on it. That's an amazing

deal. Yeah, and what city
card does Missouri, where Preston is from

right. Yeah, me and Preston
went to the same elementary school as well,

but many years apart, many years
apart. Yeah, but same school.

Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Yeah, yeah, but so the farmhouse

was freaking awesome because there's a big
barn with it was an empty barn,

and there's a big silo, so
we'd always climb up to the top of

the sidel of animals, or did
you raise any? No, no,

we didn't have any animals. We
had cats and and dogs, but no

animals. My mom always wanted animals, but we didn't really have time to

take care of them. And Yeah, did did your mom work too?

Yeah, my mom weren't. She
was a ged teacher. HMM. Yeah,

that's how I got my Gd.
She helped me out. What did

what year did you drop out of
high cool, I dropped out of when

I was a sophomore, so that's
two thousand and five I was supposed to

graduate. So did you consult your
parents about that? No, No,

no, my dad didn't even know. So you would just go off to

school every day like you're going to
school. So, yeah, my dad

would drop me off at school and
I had on my beach cruiser and I'd

wait for him to leave and I
just poomped straight back down to the hill,

back to the beach with my beach
cruiser, straight to the Surf Shop,

grandpike board and West seat and goes
straight to the beach. This is

an oceanside yeah, and Carl's bad, Carl's bat. Now when did he

find out? You, like a
month after, like, cause I because

they won't. So you only did
this for a month before he found out?

Yeah, yeah, a month or
two in. So what did he

say when you're when you were doing
this? Well, he thought I was

going to school, I know,
but once he found out, he was

freaking pissed. Oh, he was
so pissed. But you didn't make you

go back to school? No,
no, because he knew I didn't like

it. Right, and I freaking
love them for that because he understood.

He understands me, you know.
Uh Huh. So I go dad,

I don't want to go to school, I want to do something else.

or He's like, well, this
is what you're going to do. You're

going to go to Missouri, you
going to go back to Missouri. So

I went back to Missouri my junior
year and studied for my Gd with my

mom and did. I was there
for a year. I took the test

four times. I couldn't pass it. Pros back you. You were tenacious

and you stuck with it. I
know eventually passed it. Eventually pass it

here in California. Is it going
good? Run, Johnny? Having fun?

Yeah, I'm having fun. All
right. We got another learned a

lot about you today. Yeah,
yeah, there's a lot more to dude.

Fuck so much. All right.
We got another question from my ex

girlfriend. Is She going to be
your soon to be girlfriend again? I

hope so. Did Oh, this
one's good. This one's good. Okay,

is it true you broke your Dick? Yes, I did break my

Dick trying to backflip a motorcycle,
I think in two thousand and eight or

two thousand and nine. Okay,
I don't know how to ride a motorcycle

and so, but I was convinced
I get backflip one. So, Travis,

Oh, I really thinking? Goods
for me. Well, I kind

of convinced myself. Yeah, I
was like, I showed up that day

like I'm going to backflip a motorcycle. Set Yep, and I did exactly

what Travis told me not to.
Do is like when you come off the

ramp, don't let go of the
bike because it'll turn, go twenty feet

in the air and turn into a
missile. No, come back down and

smoke you. And that's what happened. I laid it on the ground and

both my knees were behind my ears, you know, and then the Mike

came in and broke its handle bar
off in my crotch. Oh my God,

Dude, and that's a metal handlebar. It broke the handle bar and

it's a metal handle like, oh
my God. And I stood up and

I felt like I was pissing my
pants. Oh right, took up my

pants and every time my heart would
be blood with shoot at my cock.

Did it over and over. To
the medic I'm like, is this bad?

He goes. You got to get
the hospital right now, because they

thought I had internal bleeding. What
the fuck? So they rushed me in

the surgery and I had two kids
since then. Nice. Oh Yeah,

Dude, I'm glad your Dick's all
right. Yeah, it's about where it

should be. It's about where it
tops out. Is All right, ha,

ha, ha ha. You're just
good enough for me. But yeah,

dude, as long as you can
get a boner. You're psyching.

Yeah, really, we do,
right now? Yeah, I couldn't.

All right. Well, I think
we're going to wrap it up, Johnny.

Okay, poopies. Thank you so
much, Dude. Thanks for having

me on your show and and answering
all my questions. I felt like I

learned a lot about you. Yeah, thanks for answering my questions. Yeah,

yeah, your girlfriends, my act
girlfriend's questions, your ex girlfriend's question

yea, yeah, I'll she did
a very good job. You can text

her and tell her she did a
great shot. Should we give give her

a picture? Sure, sure,
we mean we can. Okay, we'll

do that later, but anyways,
you guys. Thanks for watching poopies podcast.

There's more to come. I hope
you enjoy it. It's pretty fried,

but I'm just starting to learn,
so it's all new to me.

This podcast should great job. Whoop, thank you. Thank you. Hell,

yeah, you learned by doing yep, you got it. Yeah,

exactly. That's how you learned,
by making mistakes, you know. Yep.

So well, I'll see you on
Saturday for the family family feud.

Yeah, that's going to be fun. Yeah, I'm sorite. All right,

you guys. Stay tuned and have
a great day and we'll see you

next time. Yeah, did,
yeah, Johnny. We hope you've at

least tried to enjoy the shittiest podcast. With poopies to the listeners who made

it all the way to the end
of this episode. Why? But also

thank you if you'd like to turn
your brain to even more mush. We

hope you'll join US next week for
episode two of Shittiest podcast. The shittiest

podcast is produced by the world's worst
people, Tyler Nielsen, Bryan Tillotson Frank

Crisco, and narrated by me,
the narrator. Special thanks to the Straw

hat team.
The Shittiest Podcast w/ Poopies
This podcast is indescribably sh*tty, but we’ll take a stab at describing it. Riding high on the success of Jackass Forever, Poopies wanted to make a podcast for all... View More

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