EPISODE 50: Just the (Season) Two of Us

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Show Notes

Anne and Heather are back and better than ever! They kick off season two of the pod by popping champaign, catching listeners up to speed on the hapenings of thier hiatus, introdicing the updated show format, and teasing this season's upcoming topics. 

Be sure to follow BETTER TOGETHER on IG!  

From Straw Hut Media 


Straw media. But wait, we
got to say everything again. We just

set we just got it. We
got to talk about that. We got

got okay by that's a good conversation, though. We're better to get wet

and welcome back to better together.
They added. Heather, we are so

happy to be back for our second
seas in a minute. It has been

in celebration. We're having champagne.
We are. When we popped it,

it didn't pop and there weren't any
bubbles. Well, that's because our listeners

are our poppers. We're taking out
as a good sign. That's right,

that's exactly right. You can drink
alcohol in the matter if it's bubble or

not. More good we have.
We want to say that it is been

a well, I mean I it
has been a little bit of time,

because we've been rejiggering our our our
whole message, our thought process. We've

gotten together as a team and really
you started focusing on what we want.

But also, I just want to
say, with the commit with better together,

I wanted to say that I am
committed to bettering myself with you and

with Ryan and with our team and
with our listeners, and I think that's

really what our commitment is this year
it really getting on guests who help us

further the joy and commitment to ourselves
and others that we want and getting more

intimate, in a little bit more
vulnerable with sharing our honesty around that.

I couldn't agree more. I think
we need to backtrack a little bit.

And yeah, everybody, what took
us a minute to get back. We

had always planned to come back in
January and then Anna and I got covid.

I mean not only Covid, I
got the first kind of cody because

you gave it to me. So
I got the same ticking to you.

See why we got into a fight? Well, you got it first,

so then you totally gave it to
me. They was I think we both

got it at that movie premiere.
Let's just say let's blame it was clame

it on the tender bar. That's
that's what we're gonna do, George Glee.

Nothing I like better than blaming covid
on George Clue. So yeah,

very right before Christmas we got that
was does the MEL when I've dropped?

Yeah, we got we got covid
and ran in the new year with covid

and it was really, really difficult
I mean, I don't think I thought

I was going to avoid the whole
thing. And actually by mean, to

be honest with you, I kind
of made funch of people being say oh.

I was like why are so many
people said? I mean, come

on, is this the La to
people can't kick it. I have to

eat my words on that one,
because whoever went through his continuing to go

through getting this this this surrendous,
this surrendous illness, it knocked me and

shook my world in a way that
was more surprising than I than I thought.

It was emotional. It was.
It was a vulnerable I fell down

the steps. I lost. I
am a person who it was lonely.

It was. It was lonely.
We had to cancel Christmas with the kids.

I had a Christmas tree up and
all these I mean just just eat

it. I have I share custody
with both of my both of my son's

father's, and so it's every other
Christmas. So of course when Christmas comes

it's like, Oh my God,
I got my two boys ways and it

was such a difficult year for everybody. So I have to commend everyone who

made it through the last year with
covid. Covid being a part of our

lives because it was so difficult.
So it was really wanting to be a

celebration and and took us a minute
to get better. Like it didn't just

go away. We had that what
they called the long code, the long

the long govid. In fact,
I mean that I'm still dumb, you

know what. It dumped me down
and I'm still dumb too. I know.

Good, it's a good thing you're
listening to better together. That's why

we have guests, Han to help. Let's be another. But I think

also we left the year with and
I really want to get into what our

fight was, because we said we
got into a fight and of course you

think all better. Anna and heather
can't fight, do they? I mean

their best friends, we do.
And I would I would love for you

to kind of describe to what.
It took a minute to like unpack like

what. And it all kind of
comes down to the whole reason. We're

rejiggering the show too, and and
and there's a real delicate balance between what

you have to package to sell and
what you want to do. Yeah,

right, yes, so anne is
incredibly creative and comes up with fantastic ideas,

but she wants to share. But
me, somebody WHO's had an entire

career thirty some years, is that
possible? My that fucking old. Hey

is so time come to my guard. That my job is and that shesime.

She said she's occash's all. I
really appreciate you, inggure's hold it

to my Julley gird. It's a
push pull for me because show present something

to me that I don't think is
safe. I like, look at this

video, is so cool. Oh
my God, I've been working on this

thing, and look at the light
show and Oh my God, and it's

so interesting and I get use binoculars
and look in the lights under two as.

She's like no, right, because
I am protective of you and I

think people are going to be critical
and I don't think that people are going

to take it in the way that
you meant it to be. And I

know that the world is small and
and and doesn't see things for what they

are and you you have to play
the stupid fucking game. Well, I

think it's been the story of my
life. I mean obviously about I mean

I got blacklist of you standing up
for something that I believe in, called

Gender Free Love, by the way, and that in and of itself was

such a ridiculous notion. And and
the Bostra is Asian. How you got

from that is what has shaped my
life. Is Why we do, why

we are our partners and everything else, because the backlash that I get for

what you seem like really sane ideas
to me seem insane, and I let

me just clarify what I think crazy
is. I think crazy is the what

we call things, the distance between
what we don't understand in others and our

inability to ask and enjoy our lacking
superpower called curiosity. And that's part of

what we are doing here. We
are asking the questions that we want answers

to. That will further ourselves,
because the conversation isn't encouraged in enough to

say, Hey, wait, I
don't get that, and Heather's right,

and I will say this, heather, you can take this to the bank.

Heather is correct. I was absolutely
not understood for my ideas. People

did look at them as as strange, and one part of what we want

to talk about is, yes,
you have to push boundaries, yes,

you have to be a creative person. Yes, it is my responsibility to

further creatively who I am. I
mean one of the challenges in life is

that at fifty two I got to
continue to be interesting. Hopefully. All

right, there's reading in my hand
for the listeners. Yes, I want

to get in here, and I
think that the irony is that that you

are you and I am me because, as I said before, somebody who

is in Pr to be aligned with
you said what a fucking nightmare in a

way, or genius. But right, right, exactly. It's a fifty

shot, as we say. Some
days it's a yes and some days.

So here's the thing, though,
that we also decided, while we have

to package things and sell them and
all of that for Hollywood and for that

whole world, we're not packaging shit
for y'all. That's right. We're giving

that to you straight, which is
also why, if you can't see me,

but I'm wearing a t shirt,
I'm wearing my own raddy old tshirt,

because a used to make me dress
fancy for the podcast and where it's

just like we gotta let me.
I mean she did look absolutely gorgeous,

but I'm not wearing any more silk
shirts or anymore you're fucking clothes. Good.

Yes, I I'm sometimes. Oh
my God, now we're acting like

I have a but cheesy closet.
No, because they're fancy and I'm not

a more comfortable in jeans and a
t shirt. And that's who I am

and that's and that's who you want
to rushes and hopping. Lets shut up.

Okay, so I go makeup free. I'll just tell you this,

but listen, and there's at you, jacket with her fake nails, and

she's dance events. I'm in my
target. Sure, yeah, but at

least it says Loma. So we're
much Choco. Begin and where again,

in the Yang, and I like
your couser here. Come on, let's

tell everything about the new format this
show. Okay. So what came he

always comes in with business. Yes, he's a start. What what came

from this is that we all,
the three of us, put our heads

around really what we wanted to do, and and now what's all sent it.

So what's so meantic to us,
like what? What? What feels

right? And what we were doing
is we were bringing a lot of we

were really focused on bringing celebrity guests. And that doesn't mean we're not going

to still bring a celebrity guess right
from time to time. But what we

really want to do is have you
guys spend this time with us and really

get something out of it, really
learned, and frankly, so do we.

We want to learn. Storm Mean, I'm committed to becoming becoming better,

not only a better human being,
but also understanding. How did Havo

Gate territories that? I don't I
think there's the fact of the matter is,

if there is something that is hurting
in anybody or in all of us

are in a society, then there's
help and we will find the helpers and

we want to find it with joy
and we want to find it with love

and we want to find it with
honesty and really suit, with people who

are going to I mean we have
spiritual leaders, we have authors, have

anti aging at its birth. I
mean we will. We have motivation of

education, because we have seeplea talk
to you about how to have self confidence

when you thank you so us.
Yeah, you know, just the list

goes on, and also just really
interesting inspirational stories and all the good stuff.

I mean, let's get better together. Let's get better together. I

didn't and I I mean I'm really
excited about what all what we're doing and

we are going to force Ryan to
be the male voice in our very female

chat chat chum right here. He's
going to call business meetings throughout the podcasting

is business meeting. But one of
the things that we thought we would start

with, too, is what it
means. Our philosophy really is living in

loving kindness and and what we just
wanted to define what that means, and

I would like for us all to
do that. But for me, when

I thought about it in the most
simple way, it was that I I

think that living and loving kindness is
making decisions that are as truthful as possible,

first for yourself, but in addition, taking into consideration others, and

that begins with you, in the
commitment to your own practice of joy,

which we're going to talk about.
We would like to ask a question in

each of one of our podcasts,
what to to our guests and to ourselves,

and at the end be able to
deliver a message that helps us further

activate that. So kind of like
a promise, it's kind of like we're

gonna we're going to dig into this
one question and we promised by the end

of the episode we're going to have
an answer to that question. So mine

is, Diday, was the living
in loving kindness we are going to be

able to promise you some some ways. What does it mean, debate that

for your seeing, to let in
loving kindness? Is the question, like

the well, to me, I
just told you. And what does it

mean to not be a Dick?
You tell me. What does it mean

not to be ad does it mean
to it? Well, I mean I

think that, I think don't get
Dick Speaks for itself. Actually, I

think live and loving kindness is a
little more layered and and, as you

said, I think it's about activating
it. It's about when you when you're

faced with an active decision, to
do the one, that is living in

loving kindness. And it's not always
easy. I gotta Tell You, I

was well, I was asked that
Bey. I'm just going to lay this

out as as I because I just
can't believe that I'm in the situation again.

Obviously I'm a person to have an
affair with. I'm not really a

person that's marrying material skip, as
I've as I've been seeing on my little

bit of my dating, but by
a boo excursions, because the second time

she gets set up on by marrying
man. Was Confronted, yes, with

a married man, an opportunity to
guess what she's want. This one was

a little more appealing. So this
was some a little harder to say.

Now this was the more difficult.
But as I was, you know,

metaphorically packing my bags to go in, you are metaphorically paying your bags,

exactly, packing your bags. Say, we said we were going to say

get the under where in? You
know, I stopped before started to pack

your bag. medicaturically, would be
if you were sitting there like a play

what am I going to pack?
You know? HM, no, not

when you get your sups out and
start putting stuff. Well, I think

that's what then I started in.
This is where I want to talk about

the practice of joy with yourself,
because as soon as I started feeling like

this is really weird, I'm like
packing to go see a man that is

married, you know, and if
we pay attention to that thing that feels

weird, it is. You know, if it feels weird, it is

weird. Yeah, and I just
started. It's like maybe I was metaphorically

sweating, or perhaps I was like
I'm starting to engage in something my everyday

practice is to live in truth,
with no hiding, and the very thing

I was about to engage in selfishly
was, who cares? I get to

go and have sex, and isn't
that going to be Vun and he's so

handsome, I hope we have a
state dinner. Let it's also not your

and it is so with me.
You could people justify it by saying like,

well, I'm not married, that's
has been right. I'm not married.

And, by the way, you
could justify nineteen different ways, or

well, million different ways, why
he's justified in having a fair the facts.

The matter is, the second I
enter into something that is a lie,

it's my responsibility, and that's what
living in loving kindness is for me.

These are not easy practices, is
I don't. I did not want

to make this decision, but the
reason we have a practice is so that

we can rely on those things when
we feel weird, to go back to

and in the first of my personal
practice is practice resistance and it. That's

number one, and I was like, let's resist for a moment what I'm

about to go do and take a
look at this from a different perspective.

That's where intelligence comes in, with
our emotions because my emotions wanted to go

and really feel loved and be loved, and I I mean, come on,

that was a really appealing thing.
What wasn't appealing was waking up the

next morning and going I have participated
in a lie, I've hidden. No

matter if that's woman knows that he's
done this or not, is none of

my business. To live in loving
kindness is a choice, and that's why

I go back to saying the decision
making is to be truthful with yourself as

much as humanly possible and take into
consideration what others is. And that's really

the practice of me of what better
together is. Thing. That must be

my time because rise, watch,
rise, wash went off, so anyway.

But but that's some that's that's kind
of the act. That's that's kind

of the execute. You the answers
aren't always exactly easy, but if you

have a practice that you've established with
yourself, and I think this is what

we want to encourage and why we
say we want to activate things, we

want to encourage the moving forward with
yourself and in an honest way and paying

attention to yourself, because when you
pay attention to yourself and honor your own

practice of love and joy. Then
you get to wake up in the morning

and look at other people with joy
and happiness and not wonder if you but

you know should if you're living with
shame on your face, which is when

them next comes up, the dict
on your face. You know what I

would be if I wanted an affair. That's saying her hurt people, hurt

people right hurt people hurt people.
So you see you every once in a

while, you see those like angry, mean people that will say the most

cutting, horrifying, mean thing.
That's it, because they're because they're angry

at themselves. And that's really what
the furthering of living in a lie is,

because you still have to justify that
you're right in that fake smile comes

up on your face and you really
pretend, the next morning, after you

just said sex with a guy who's
married, that you're okay with it.

And then the shame that hits you
when you're on the plane and then you

don't want to tell your friends and
then you're horrified at yourself. So what

we're trying to do is stop the
things that hurt us by recognizing with our

intelligence the things that we know and
understand are good for us and what's good

for us. What joy is is
to live in the truth and and and,

and that is that is the practice
of love. I totally couldn't agree

more. So we have a little
bit of those reminders of two, which

is our answer here to you know, how do I do that? What

is living in loving kindest means?
These are so kind of some hopeful,

your reminders of the joyous interaction you
can have with yourself, and they're just

fun ones. Do you want to
read them with me? This is the

practice of joy. Number One,
speak word, which means tell the truth,

pay music, make art, dance
freely. We've tapestry. What we've

tapestry means tell the stories, get
in, have your foundation be and the

Fatterick. Yeah, but not literally. We've tapped. I was crafty you.

I think you're. Yeah, I
mean you could also, but I

do like that. What you what
it means is to you. You could

be on and I think these are
going to be things that we did.

We talk about, but you know, the Universe is woven together with the

tapestry of our truth, and that
is what we've tapestry means. Cultivate strength,

laugh. First tell the truth,
see with clarity gives the key,

one hundred percent. Those are those
are my practices. Are Joy and I

hope that we can remind each other
of those. And and you said something.

You said something early on. You
know what's wrong or you know it's

right. And and I think anything. I think that my whole life I've

always known what's right and wrong.
And if you have that, well,

not always. I mean. Whom
I fooling? But but, but for

the big stuff, we're pretty LAETOP, you know. And and you just

there's always been something in me that
just won't let me do I can't do

it. Yeah, like you just
you just can't, even if nobody would

know, even if that's an if
you know you are, you're on God,

you are the one who isn't doing
your self and it's just not a

choice amount of yourself to give to
others that you give to yourself if you

give a hundred percent clarity yourself.
That's why cultivate strength is one of these,

because if you start making it a
habit, it becomes a part of

your self esteem. So I would
love it if everybody out there recognized a

moment where you were about to do
so you were about to say that shitty

thing or you were about to do
that shitty thing, and don't do it.

Don't see how you feel so afterwards. Create a habit of love and

joy and telling the truth. That's
really that's what our activation is this anyway.

We're so excited to be back with
you all and it's going to be

a fun ride and we home.
You come along with us. Let's get

better together. Cheers. Here's and
a big, big thanks to our better

together team, Ryan Tillotson, Silvana
Alcohola, Daniel Ferrara and, of course,

and and Heather. If you haven't
already, please subscribe on whatever device

or platform you're listening to this on
and, as always, see you next week.
Better Together w/ Anne Heche and Heather Duffy
Anne Heche's BETTER TOGETHER w/ Anne & Heather is a space where guests introduce us to the person that makes them better. For me, that's my friend, Heather, and t... View More




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