Danielle Staub, Absolutely : Health Expert Danette May

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Today Danielle gets some advice from the leading healthy lifestyle expert, Danette May!

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Danielle Staub, Absolutely
Welcome to 'Danielle Staub, Absolutely', the only podcast on the internet hosted by television personality & entrepreneur, Danielle Staub. Join us every week as Danielle and her friends share candid conversations around topics that matter most.From Straw Hut Media

Episode transcripts

Straw media. Hey guys, soI was talking with Ryan earlier here at
Straw hot media and I was discussinglike some things to discuss if I were
to have somebody on that would helpwith me being able to listen better.
And don't laugh, because we alldo it, but it's it's a way
of listening, to really pay attentionto everything that's going on rather than getting
ready to with your response. Sothere's a big difference between the two and
we came to a conclusion that perhapsDanette May, our next guest, might
be able to help with answering thatquestion. And if you're having problems yourself,
you're going to want to tune intothis. Hey, guys, have
a special guest today. I'm kindof really interested in hearing what she might
have to say in my own personalgrowth and maybe that will help some of
you and yours as well. Soplease help me welcome Dinnette May. Hi,
Tonett, how are you good?But we welcome to Daniel Stall.
Absolutely, I mean we're absolutely everythingto do with everything and I cannot wait
to hear some of your views onsome questions that some of my fans have
had for me personally and that maybemight help them healing their own journey.
So on that, I just wantto open with thank you for taking the
time and rescheduling and being here withus. I have so many different genres
on this podcast because there's so manydifferent layers to each one of us.
Don't you agree? Totally the man, and I think doesn't it come out
when we start to really like doour best work? You see like,
oh my gosh, I forgot aboutthat and I forgot about this, and
I've recently started a part of mygrowth, which is I need to I
used to be a really great listenerand then, you know, I went
on reality TV and then I becamemore really loud talker and I think you
know being heard sometimes. I usedto tell my kids when you whisper to
someone who's yelling, they'll have tobe quiet to listen. And so I
want to learn how to apply thatagain to my life, because not just
for people that are yelling, butfor someone that might want to convey something
to me, even though I mightbe able to kind of guess what they're
going to have to say, it'snot fair that I don't listen and I
want to justify people and hearing everythingthey have to say. So could you
give me a few tips on that? Yeah, let me ask you a
couple clarifying questions, though, becauseit sounds like you want to listen better,
and you were a pretty good listener. Then you want on reality TV
and you took on almost a persona, being loud and and being like express
lessive, because that was a roleyou took on. It sounds like a
now you're like, you know,I really want to get back to where
I'm not just jumping the gun andfinishing their sentence because people can't keep up
with my pace and my speed,and I really read that it get all
of that and much more. Ijust feel like I need to dignify everybody
with, you know, being abetter listener just because you know you might
be able to know what they're goingto say, especially when it comes to
my kids, like I already knowbefore it happens that it's happened and then
then when they're going to admit itto me, I've already worked through all
of my responses in my mind andmy facial features. But you know,
I still want to hear it.I want to hear the reasons why without
asking, because I think isn't ittrue? People off of you much more
if you give them a chance toabsolutely, and, and I love that
you just said children, because especiallyteenage children, think parents minor in the
s. But it's still important aim. Yeah, it's so important because really
every human wants to be heard,they want to be seen and they want
to be heard, and so thatis the greatest gift we can give our
loved ones. It's greatest gift wecan give anyone. So my advice to
you if I were to just speakreally plainly and broadly, because we could
dive into all these different things aroundher, like maybe wounding around or whatnot.
We're not going to do that todaybecause basically, you took on a
persona of a character and if youtook that on, you can unlayer it
or unmask it or unveil it andtake on a new persona. Of that
I'm a really good listener and Iif I could just just just for a
moment, not to not to stopthat listening thing that I'm trying to make
a point of, but I justhave to correct you. There was a
persona that was put on to methat only showed one side of me and
I could never be heard, neverbe heard, and I usually just tried
to walk away. But then after, you know, a decade and a
half of not being heard, Ifind that I'm having trouble getting back to
listening as well, because not everybodyare those women. They don't define everyone
in my world, ran although Idon't think that certain people deserve the dignity
of me listening any longer, there'sthe majority of the world that does,
and mainly my kids. Absolutely well, yeah, it was put on you,
but you took on it because wehurt right, but you're not in
the world anymore, so you don'tactually have you ever done any healing around
being in that world? Yeah,actually daily. But I come from,
you know, the beliefs of spiritualityand induced it to my children where they
were very young and we'd pray theway multiple different spiritualists would pray in the
morning, everything from teaching them chantor, you know, to be in
touch with, you know, Buddhismand be in touch with the different sides
of spirituality so that, you know, as Catholics were praying. But there's
other ways to observe as well.They are very quiet and very observant and
very close to our faith, aslong as it's the faith and believing in
a higher being. And I've beenworking on myself, I feel like,
my entire life. Yeah, yeah, this one reason to another, but
this one has been a really hardtime to heal from because it just keeps
pushing itself into my face. Andthis the reason that I resigned, you
know, in two thousand and twenty, was that I needed to have it
stopped being in front of my faceand, you know, walk away from
no matter what job it would be. That would be making me feel that
bad. No money in the worldis worth that. Well, I don't
actually know your full story, sothis is really illuminating. This is quite
recent two thousand and twenty, thatyou were like you were two thousand and
twenty, alignment with my higher selfand I'm walking away, and I have
to say, have you? Ibet there were multiple times, but can
you think of a time where youwere in this environment where you really felt
something was important that you were tryingto express, but no one was listening
to you or maybe even diminished you, made you feel less than or made
you feel that's my entire career.On the housewives. I was the person
they had to go to to tryto get the data ends so off attacking
me and belittling me or even assassinatingmy character or regurgitating things from my childhood
that were painful intentionally to make merelive them. I took it on the
Chin constantly and it was a fewyears ago that it just it broke me.
Yeah, and I just I neededit to stop. You know,
it was a new cast member thatcame on and she regurgitated everything that I
had healed from because I happened toshare, you know, a private,
very, you know, painful timeof my life with her and instead of
her stating it as such, sheregurgitated it. As you know, me
being the problem, and it hasto do with, you know, incest.
I my father raped me when Iwas a child and she would just
use this name that was involved withit and when people saw upset I was
getting, they'd use the name aswell, turned into a really mean girl
kind of thing, and and itled to virtually literally me having a nervous
breakdown and I was on suicide watchfor a month and BC universal and everybody
was involved and I kept telling themthat they needed to pick somebody else to
be going this hard on because Iwasn't getting well from it. It was
making me really sick. Yeah,somebody listened until I broke, and so
now I'm trying to say to myselfwhenever I meditate and every morning I speak
to my guides in my angels allthroughout the day. People can call me
weird, they can call me whateverthey want. They don't live in my
body, they don't live in mymind and I know I'm not hurting anybody
with my beliefs and it's just helpingme. But there's a lot of people
that are curious and want to knowhow how it is that I get through
this because they've had similar things thatpop up about my story that involve their
own lives. There's parallels. Yeah, and it's almost as if I'm drawn
to learn how to heal, mainlybecause I really need to be able to
tell others in a short, concisiveway how to do the long, the
long hauled like the long game,but it's not a game, but it's
the long game. You have tocommit. It's a commitment to yourself and
often we put ourselves last. Don'tyou agree? Yeah, and I am
out. Would you advise others todo this, even if not just about
me, do it now, orI'll just tell you the steps. Okay,
there's a lot of different ways toheal and I'm first off, I'm
just proud of you. You gotout of the situation. Your all me
that you're a worthy of all thedimensions of who you are and someone's story
of you or their past wounding triggeredonto you is doesn't define you. So
I'm really, really proud of youfor that. Thank I do want to
say like and I can take youthrough the steps of a way to reprogram
because ultimately there's been patterns that havebeen put through your DNA that have created
this feeling of like almost a walland you've got to defend yourself and you've
got to make sure you're hurt andno one can come in at you.
And almost this part of listening thatwe want to do as humans is a
softer side. We have to beopen to truly listen. You don't feel
safe to be completely open, eventhough you have the word. Yeah,
feel safe because when you listen you'reopen and right now what's helped you get
survived right now is to be toughand to be closed, because when you
let someone in, they hurt you. So what we want to do is
we want to rewire that. Weneed to rewire that, and the good
news is is that your brain willallow you to rewire that trauma and you
can actually be the healer. Andit's not going to happen necessarily over night.
Sometimes it can happen quite quick solet me just share with you ways
you can do this. Okay,do you know all of my viewers?
I want all of you, andthen listeners, I want you to all
get involved. I know there's alot of you out there that are saying
this one isn't for me, butthere's many more of you that this does
applied to and you've been asking forthis, and here we are with,
you know, my guest and myselfjust bearing it all and putting it out
there for you, and want youto pay close at tension, because she's
going to help. You've been requestingthis of me. Heal is well,
so we can heal together. Yeah, and I do want to say for
those of you think, Oh,I don't have anything to heal, we
all have things to heal and weall have had passed things inflicted on us,
no matter or who what time frame, and you can go back even
when you are young, really reallyyoung, and you can barely remember the
memories or something that just happened tooor three years ago. So what you're
going to do is go back tothat scene. And this is where it
gets really hard for people, becausethey're like, I don't want to go
back. There was so painful,so raw, and you're going to put
yourself back in that scene. You'regoing to see yourself. So for me,
when I was rewiring this, Iremembered when I was in kindergarten,
I was watching my kindergarten teacher liketotally abuse one of the students at when
it was recess time and I witnessedit. I didn't say anything. I
lived with that regret for a longtime. She was really beating him and
abusing him, and this was happeningevery recess. That little girl in her
lost her throat from speaking up totruth this. For you, you were
open to somebody, you let themin and they just attacked and therefore you
have closed down, which is madeit so it's hard for you to open
up and listen and be in avulnerable place. So what we're going to
do is go back to this inthey're probably multiple scenes, right, but
let's go back to one of thescenes. There's a lot of years or
scenes. I would be thinking backwith a lot of recent which would have
been, you know, the newergirls just regurgitating things from my past.
Okay, without even and known me. Yeah, go to that scene and
those who are listening, go toyour see whatever that scene is. If
you're willing to do this, sogo back there and you're going to actually
just put yourself back in that situation. For her, it's recent. She
can see her body, she cansee herself, she can be back in
that room, the things that we'rebeing said, the energy being directed towards
her. You might be a littlegirl or a little boy, you might
be a different teenager. Pick yourscene and I'm point out to them to
make them feel a little more comfortable, please. It's the scene where we're
at the boutique and chapping and everybody. There's seven of them attacking me and
calling me names. It was justan ambush and then it became physical as
well. So I want all ofyou to know where I was at before
the infamous hair pull and all thatother stuff. Just that's where I'm at.
I'm wondering why it is that everybody'scoming at me. Whatever you're seen
is and your scenaro is as longas you have me to relate to.
I'm hoping that will help. Sorry, didn't adopt you. No, I
think that's really beautiful for you tobe so vulnerable. It gives everyone else
permission to be vulnerable and go backto their scene. So you're back there.
You're feeling it. Now what happensis once you go back, you're
probably feeling it a little bit inyour body. All of a sudden your
shoulders went up. You're like,you're like, I see, I know
everything because I worked through this myself, but I need of is to know
what kind of work this is.No matter how long, and this is
months and months and months, Istill get reactive. I still go into
my defense mode when that, whenyour shoulders go up, I'm under the
understanding, correct me if I'm wrong, that that's a defensives like ready to
go, I'm getting I'm gearing up, I'm pulling everything. Yeah, totally.
So she you're in the scene andthen what you're going to do,
and you do this ideally with youreyes closed, so you can just really
be in in the embodiment of it. Understanding. I'm myself tell the science
behind this. So when the brainonly knows what you're feeling, right and
the actions for it. So whatcan happen is if you go in and
create a new scene. So let'slet's say you're out. You said you
were out of Boutique. So younow get to as those women are starting
to attack you with words, youget to actually start to see that they
came but then they softened and theystarted saying loving words to you. I
know this is a stretch for someof you to be like, Oh,
come on, you cannot rewire somethingthat dramatic into that. Yes, you
can, and it's been done.Important that you do. Yes, so
you would be watch them. AmI right? It's about you. It's
about you. Yeah, you're notrighting the wrong, you're not making this
okay, you're just changing the neurologicalresponse in your body so that you can
open up and you're not operating inthis lifetime from that one. Okay,
so raise all live by that correctyeah, absolutely. So you're going to
like literally get dramatic and see themsaying really loving words towards you and saying
hey, we got you, you'resafe, thank you for sharing. And
then the more the girl, theseother figures come in, wherever those were,
and they're coming in and they're saying, wow, I've been mean to
you, I'm really sorry, andthis is going to feel like a stretch
for your mind, but you getto role play this in your mind and
then, instead of the we're itwent into rage. You see this hugging
and you feel the sense of loveand hugging. As you do this and
roll play this over and over,it changes the neurological connection through the cells
in the brain. What this doesis it doesn't necessarily sweep the under the
rug. It makes it so thatthey're okay and you're going to be best
friends with them. All I careabout is you. All I care about
is you being your fullest, beautiful, your magnificent. I can fill your
energy, I can feel this heartthat you have and we want to open
because you have so much work todo and you're already stepping into it by
sharing stories and trying to help peoplebe vulnerable and grow in their vulnerability.
So as you do this over andover, it's going to help you become
a better listen at listener, asyou intend to become a better listener,
as you contend every day to justrewire it and say I am safe,
I'm safe to be loving and opento these I love my children like close
friends, my family, and maybeI'm not fully safe yet for some random
friends yet that's okay, but formy family I want to be safe and
I want to listen and let himknow I'm working on a little better feeling
in the world than feeling safe andbeing able to portray that to your children.
I can't streak speak highly enough aboutdoing that work because, you know
what, I'm not ignoring your instructionswere perfect. I just know in my
I've tapped through a lot of thesefeelings and I think I'm to the point
where, if, if I canget my viewers and my listeners to be
able to help themselves through through theirtrauma, and a lot of them have
had very bad trauma and it goesback to childhood or whatever. They're parallel
hes with me. I feel likethe only reason I'm able to really get
through sometimes it is because I dothe work every day and sometimes it's just
a matter of just stopping my carand taking five minutes to breathe. When
I say breathe, I just youbreathe differently, like I go through a
whole routine with it, Yoga andmeditative breathing and my own's. I just
however, people can get there.Get there, like I love the APP
unplug and it doesn't it unplugs mein a moment, you know, and
I can revitalize myself. Good foryou. That's what every little secrets are.
They'll find them, aren't they?Yeah, I mean you have to
just be willing to be open tothem and try them, because when you're
in the tight resistance of whatever painyou're in, it's really hard for you
to receive. But I promising youthat there's always someone trying to help,
a universal energy is trying to help. So, like with you, you've
been reinstructed to breathe. You're hearingthis, if you're listening, we're going
to show you. You can doa box breath. You can just do
for in Hell's in, hold forfor, exhale out for for, hold
for for and just repeat this.This is not something that dinnett created.
This is actually for those who havepoint out to everybody like. The breathing
is a technique. You have toopen your throat together, take the oxygen
all the way and when she yeahthe hold, that means it's coming from
your stomach. Before you let itout, it's gotten all the way in
there. You got to feel theoxygen everywhere. You're cutting yourself off.
Yeah, so when you breathe in, you could do it right now.
Just make sure you're getting your breathpast your chest, because most people are
right into their chest and that's asmuch as they're going. So you want
to pass it and fill up yourbelly and you want to practice the box
breath when you're not in chaos,because when chaos hits, and this is
like Nabe Sills, use this whenchaos hits. You want to be able
to activate that box breath on adime. Right. So you're practicing this
every day, breathing it into yourbelly, like she just said. That's
so true. For those of youwho really like beauty, it's also really
beautifying because you're billing oxygen into yourself. Might be so, but yes,
it's also profound for calming the nervoussystem. I'm sorry, I got knocked
off you're sorry about that. Itis it is so profound to the nervous
system when I were am I back, Ryan? Are you there, honey?
Can you see me? Because Idon't see me anymore. Okay,
I just see the two of youon me see if I can get back
in here. But I wanted tosay like the when I breathe. Sometimes
I'm like I breathe so quickly andthen I'm like, wow, that was
nothing. I didn't get any oxygenfrom that. I pay attention to my
breath because I know it is howeven water like. If I drink a
lot of water, it can itcan open my throat shop for a little
bit and I can communicate better becauseI was dehydrated. Whenever I'm in a
panic state, I believe that mybody and my guides, or whoever you
believe it is, whatever you believescoming from you, there's a message in
there. You need something. No, yes, yes, need something,
so you don't ignore it, youknow, like it's like seeing multiple numbers
over and over and over again.No, there's the message in there and
I'm not going to get too intothat right now, but there are messages
out there that we're just not receivingin the main. One is this to
our own bodies, in our ownminds and our hearts and our souls.
Were supposed to take care of ourselves. Absolutely are, and we don't deserve.
No one deserves to be hurt andfeel pain and walk through life without
we weren't intended that way. Wejust have to be stronger than we think
we are exactly, and we andwe are stronger than we think we are.
So we get to embrace that.What would you tell somebody if they
were what would you suggest to havesomething that they could read or maybe something
they can go to to help themget through a time when they're at their
darkest, soy, they know thatthe light will come again. Yeah,
there's so many books. I mean, trust me, one of your favorites,
because I have a favorite, butI'm not going to put her out
there until you tell your favorite.Well, okay, so this one's a
little bit different, because I alwaysreally believe that nothing's really outside of us,
that if we are bumping into certainscenarios, then it's the deeper work
that we have to actually do sothat we either remove ourselves from those scenarios
or rewire those scenarios. Right.So I love the book the Big Leap
by Gay Hendrix, because it reallyhighlights, you know, upper limiting and
how you're playing a role in thedrama or the chaos of your life,
and I think that's important for humansto you really grab a hold of,
because then you could go hold,grab a hold of your own power.
I also wrote a book called therise, which I like my book because
it's Super Vulnerable, a lot abouthow to get there. For you.
Thank you. But what's your favoritebook? You know, if I were
to have to speak honestly, Iwould say it would be Gabriel Burns Bernstein.
I think it is. Yeah,well, look it the Huh God,
there's so many that I've read.What was my most recent? How
did you mention? Is another favoriteauthor of mine, and they're constantly kyle,
who's like the angel numbers, youknow. That's why I say there's
always messages in their numbers, ormessages the numbers are worthy of learning about.
What was my last one? Mybrain is still trying to put itself
back together again. Believe or not, immediately it might be super attractor.
That's it. That's it. Thankyou. I was just going to say,
please suggest something, because I knowI'll hear. When I hear it,
I'll know it. H Yeah,obsessed, obsessed with that and it's
so doable and believable and the momentyou apply something, yeah, you can
see your own power. Yeah.So, yeah, now I need a
copy of your book. Yeah,I'll send you one. Yeah, it's
called it right. Yeah, Ilike the name a lot. Thank you.
It's is it sort of like therise and elevate? Ill? Yeah,
it's really about understanding. What you'rekind of doing here is understanding that
we all have stories and that ifwe can step into the vulnerability of those
stories and we can take ownership ofthem, we can rewrite them. So
I share losing my son, havingforty seven dollars to my name and really
the things, the secrets that Ididn't want anyone to know, and I
really wrote it so that it wouldgive other people power and permission to be
vulnerable in their stories and understand thatforgiveness and all these little steps and tools
really can create this abundant, magnificentlife and you're destined for it, that
your past is not define you.So that is what that books about.
So we'll send you a copy.I really want to read that now.
I'm so proud of you, firstof all, or a woman warrior,
and thank after he's with you.You know that? Oh, totally,
totally. I'm glad that you dobelieve that, because it's just too painful
to believe anything other. And youcan feel them. We can. You
are are loved ones. Yeah,just have to reopen to it now.
Oh, I actually you would besurprised. So we have an email list
of about a one point five millionwomen around the world and I get a
lot of people writing in around alot of feeling of is if this life,
because they have children that have passedon and they wonder if if it
really even mattered, and also they'rekind of angry. They're ingry at God,
they're angry at the universe and andI'm like, they're not your feeling
on that. If I may,I'm getting angry with God. Yeah,
so I can. I've never walkeda minute in a mile and everyone else's
shoes. So I'm going to speakfrom my perspective and I write about it
in depth in the rise because Iwrite very vulnerably my experience of losing him
and the emotions that I went throughand the emotions beyond, and that one
of the phrases that I put inthere, and I really believe, and
I didn't feel it in the moment, but now I can look back,
is that him passing away was thetime I got to wake up and I
got to actually live, because itwas these these humans that pass on,
I believe still live on. Theirenergy is always here and it actually might
be that their energy can be evenfelt, even more than if they were
in their physical body right moving aboutthrough this lifetime. We think that when
someone passes on, there gone,and I know without a shadow of the
doubt because I've had personal experiences wherethey've let me know they're here and and
I don't want to freak people out, my viewers, and they don't see
the side of me often, butI have to tell you you're telling the
truth. I mean it's it's justa matter of your mind being open enough
to believe what you're seeing and feelingyour own heart and your mind to it.
And it's okay even if you don'tget a physical sign. It's just
you can feel it and know itand you're just being your feeling. But
people that are angry at God,I'm not going to judge it because I
think that might be a process forthem and I just would ask them to
look at what are you really angryat? What are you really angry at?
Because is it really the passing ofthem, or is this as an
idea of a mystery? Isn't anidea of something being taken from you that
never was taken from you? Becausewhat if? It would probably be,
if I were to take a guessand in my own personal self applied,
is was he paying attention? Didhe get it right? You know,
how could that be? And I'mnot saying you know about you know,
losing your son or anything. I'mjust saying, you know, in my
own personal life I've I've often questionedlike did you drop the ball? was
that when you went quiet on me, like how could you let that happen?
Kind of thing? Yeah, andI'm not. You know, I'm
going to admit I fin angry.God to there's been a lot of stuff
in my life. Is a littlechild, now that I'm a mother of
two and I raised my daughters alone, realize that. You know, I'm
fine with it right now, butat any given moment I can be not
fine and not okay with being putinto a situation where, as a little
girl, I had to be allgrown up. I didn't get to be
a little girl and feel safe,you know, with Daddy, and I
didn't get to know what that kindof love look like or felt like.
Never I'll never have that, andso I get I get angry about that.
Yeah, that especially when I seegirls that are really upset with their
father or, you know, likeany of my friends growing up, when
they say they hate their dad andI'm like really, what did you do?
And they tell me and I justhave to keep it a secret.
In the S and s we didn'ttalk about stuff like that, and I
was in Catholic school. We definitelydidn't talk about you kept that to yourself.
Yeah, I'm allowed to speak,so I would just compare the things
that they would consider to be justworthy of calling their father that name to
to my situation was, and I'dI'd somehow feel really sorry for them.
Yeah, and I think that wecan have a moment where we can go
we can mourn what what never wasor what may have happened, depending on
the situation. And I know theseare big words and their words that we
probably heard is it's not a didn'thappen to you, happen for you.
But I have a suspect that ifyou were to go back, having the
way you were raised created a resiliencyin you, created somebody who is like
fierce with their children very first,and you wouldn't necessarily have some of these
characters and these deeper rooted like waysof being that are actually really serving you
had that not happened. Not tosay that I do. It didn't have
to happen for me to have beenthat way. I could have been that
way anyway. But I truly believethat, whatever the reason being, it
did and I made it. Savedsomeone weaker from it happening to them.
I don't now. I just knowthat it did make me a ferocious mother.
For sure. redubs myself just thatway. I'm Mama Bear. That's
my cop. You heard her.I'm coming for you, period. Yeah,
it's right, good, okay,let's have a conversation. That's all
I would say. And you know, nine times out of ten they'd push
the envelope because one am I ahundred and ten pounds, so cold what?
But you know, I'm a bear, I'm a bear when you hurt
somebody that I love. So Idon't think I would have been as strong
because I am. I don't thinkI would have been able to endure all
that I've endured, you know,and and put my children absolutely first and
above all, because I didn't chooseto be here and they didn't choose to
be here. So I can changewhat happened. I can make there's different,
their life different. So it's importantto look at this happened for me.
What what ways did this happen forme? And that's how I chose
to look at what the passing ofmy son and what ways was this for
me? and well, that's sucha healthy mind set. Now, what
are your pearls of wisdom on,you know, relationships, for anybody that
might be listening, and including toyours. Truly, maybe I just want
my listeners to have a safe placefor their love. There's many people,
myself included, that have a lotof love to give and maybe for some
reason or another, they just haven'tbeen able to find that person that just
really makes them happy, like I'vehad it. So I know what it
looks like and feels like, andso I know I can't have it again?
Okay, I guess somebody that doesn'tbelieve that they've ever had it.
They probably haven't. How do theyopen up? Yeah, to see themselves
the way maybe they're being seen byothers. Let's search. A good question,
and it's interesting because I just createda relationship program that's launching in two
weeks, because I did not knowthat felt. I know this. That's
why I think it's fascinating being guidedon questions to ask. But it's it's
interesting as I've been working with VIPclients, these people that come to me,
they're rowing, Hey, I'm makinga hundred million dollars. You know.
Can you help me with the nextphase, because I feel like I
might be upperlimiting. But underneath itall, every single client has been like
I actually just really want to bein a really healthy, loving relationship.
I want to be seems great.I don't want to be used for my
money, I want to be heldin passion and all these things right.
So this is a universal desire andI've realized through training them that it doesn't
start. It starts fundamentally with youloving you, and I know that's such
a broad topic. What does heeven look like? To love myself,
to know who myself is, andthere are specific daily things you can do
to really start to create this knowingof I am worthy, I am enough
without any accolades, without any manmy arm or woman on my arm,
or amount of money or whatever.But you've got to go to that level.
You got to go to that levelof going who am I without anything
else around me, and can Ilove myself in that? And there are
specific things you could do and youstart cultivating that, that energy you take
on of loving you no matter what, is going to change your relationship or
girlfriends. It's going to change yourrelationship and business and it's significantly going to
change a relationship with a significant romanticlover. So underful, wonderful advice.
Yeah, I mean simply put loveyourself first before you can truly love another,
HMM, and receive that love rightthat you said. I know what
it feels like. I know,I know. But some, for the
ones that you said who may notstart with you, yeah, they're dating
you, start showing you what,that you're the prize, yeah, or
the prize. Yeah. I literallydon't go into anything thinking you're getting the
better end of the deal or you'llbe just getting the better end of the
deal. Is My theory and myphilosophy. I go into everyone everything thinking,
and this isn't an entitlement called.Please clarify that for me, because
I just I think so many peoplemight misread this. But I'm the big
deal entering the room. I feellike I'm the reason that room is set
to happen today, and that iswhat I take with me to a meeting.
That's what I did, and it'snot a bitchy thing, it's not
a hackier condes sending thing or ora part of entitlement. It's a part
of me feeling like that's how Iget my Gamond for the day, like
I'm going to this they called themeeting. For me, I'm the person
at the head of the room.Now, how can I dignify all of
them? Well, I know,by making sure that I know why I'm
there, where I got to be, when I'm done and how long I
have. You know, just justtake my time with it and be the
important person in the room. Youknow, I think why you say this
isn't being ego or you're trying todownplay someone. There's here's a difference.
You can walk into a room andgo I am a big deal, I
am worthy, I've got this,I am the one in the room.
But here's the differentiator. When youcan walk into a room like that,
but without saying anyone's less than you. Everyone can be on equal playing ground.
But I'm big and you got tomeet me here. I'm not coming
here, I'm you got to meetme here. That's the difference. As
soon as we walk with an energythat anyone's less than that's when it's out
of alignment and right, and that'swhat I can never you know that.
It doesn't sound like you're doing that. You're like not, not there,
let's go. I'm ready to rockand roll, Marnover. It's sort of
like the difference between having a kittycat and a puppy. You know that's
going to be like Nahing, canbring it over here if you want me
to hang out with you, anda dog's like we're going, I'm ready.
You know, I like the dogatmosphere, like okay, come on
over here. You now like cometo me, because here's what the situation
is. You shouldn't have to reallyinvite people. They will arrive. If
bend off the energy that's correct forthe moment. Like I get myself into
a just a tiny, like threeto three minute meditation right before I enter
something big like that or a pitchmeeting network or if I'm called into to
do with stuff in my job,that I know when I arrived, that's
when the meeting's going to begin.So how am I going to dignify everybody
that's waiting for me to arrive?I'm going to do it by bringing exactly
my a game and exactly what theyinvited me to here to bring. Yeah,
yeah, that's all. Just knowyour word. If I feel you're
worth good and and natural light,shine your light out. That's someone going
into a room and being noticed.You're signing a light out. So and
it's okay. Is it okay tohave days? We just really don't want
to? Like it's just it's toomuch. You're a little off and you
want to be by yourself. Absolutely, and actually, as a woman,
if that you have a lot ofwomen listeners, your mycologically wired to have
a few days every single month.Biologically, no matter if anything externally is
going on, that you just feelthat. So full permissioners for women that
have gone through their change is onlyeverybody different. I don't get my cycle
for two years and I'm fifty eight, so I had it for all my
life when I still feel parts ofthat monthly, you know cycle, and
men too, but it's just adifferent cycle. So yeah, mormal human
biological response. So this is whereit's so important to honor that, to
be on apologetically. Now, yes, we are so multidimensional humans. We
are not this one. I'm alwayson, I'm always feeling good, I'm
always this, I'm always bad.It's like, no, you're all of
it and none of it. Justembrace that. So, yeah, there
are going to be plenty of dayslike that, and that's where you get
to go. What do you need, sweetie? You could ask yourself,
what do I need? Okay,it's time to do that, though,
right there's so many days that Ijust don't recognize my own needs. I
get going too quickly, and I'msure a lot of the listeners can,
can you know, understand that,because they do that as well. Even
when you're a mom or you're not, you're a wife or you're taking care
of somebody, there's always that momentwhere you have to take for yourself,
just to know that okay, you'rereal, this is happening and everybodyy's needs
are going to come after years fora moment and it's okay if dinner is
five past five instead of five o'clock, or sick for there's no diary home
smoothie. I mean, it takesa lot for some people to say no.
Yeah, it really does. I'vebeen guilty of that, you know,
with my own children, because Iwas like, Oh my God,
just whatever. They're so good,they're good at out whatever, I'm going
to give him everything. But thenI have this side of me where I
would say, okay, I'm yourbest friend, but I'm also your mother
and right now I'm only your mother. Yeah, exact, let's not cross
that boundary just now. That's good, it's drawn. Let's keep it there.
You know it, because it's hard. It's hard to always be the
yes person and you want to makeeverybody happy, but now it's not serving
you at all. You're, Ithink you're just really smart person. You
have a great energy about you andno matter what you are doing and all
your endeavors, you're can be sosuccessful, because I don't really vibe too
many people very quickly and I totallyvibe you. So yeah, you,
honey, I do. You gota great energy and I want people to
have more of that in the world. So, whenever you have just bring
it out into the world and I'llhelp you. Let it be heard and
seen, because that's what we're herefor. was supposed to help others.
Thank you, and we're a goodone. And so again, I want
everyone to know that this is,you know, the time when you need
to go get your books and geteducated, upload them. I'm sure the
rise. It's called the rise,and the rise is a book that's already
out. And then I have anew book coming out with Hay House called
embrace abundance. So it's all aroundabundance and all the airs of Your Life
and how to really claim it,claim it. That's the book for me
right there. I want to grabmine, honey. I want to grab
a copy of that and I wantto sign want to know that I'm thinking
grab abundance everywhere, because there's somuch out there for everyone. I'm so
glad that you've written about this,because there's more than enough for everyone.
Absolutely, my understanding is absolutely knowyou someone ask a lot. Doesn't mean
someone has to have less. No, absolutely not. It's just you have
to know where to ask for itand how to ask for it. It's
yours right, right and to startclaim it. Absolutely, it's waiting for
us all. That's great that you'vewritten that. It's brilliant. I'm so
happy to hear that, because abundanceis something that I prey on often.
It's not always just about money.Right exactly? It's like, I don't
want to read her a book tofind that out. And yes, all
about an abundance of everything in yourlife, like, if you're feeling love,
getting abundance of that. Why justget a little, you know,
like getting a tiny little steak?What's that going to doubt? I want
to stake. I want a bigsteak. Eat It. So we really
and I enjoyed having you here somuch today and I hope that you'll come
back when you launch your next book, because I want both and I want
to review it and I want toget get a chance to read it in
advance before we podcast it, becausesure I'm going to have a ton of
questions for you and thank you forbeing here today. I really appreciated it.
If you have anything that you'd liketo add, for the listeners or
any questions you might have for meor something that just we didn't cover,
please let me know because I'm happyto cover it like right now. Yeah,
go for I think ultimately, aswe close up for today, is
that, you know, the message, if I were to really think about
each human and I like look atyou and I I feel into just humanity
as a whole. We are eachone, like we literally you or me,
and I am you, and soif I were to look at myself
and have to speak the words Ineed to speak to myself, and I
would look at you, because Isee this beautiful woman and the listeners,
you are beautiful. If you seeyou know her, and you can Danielle,
and you're like so beautiful, becauseyou're beautiful too, and I want
to just say you're magnificent. Whoever'swhoever can hear these words, you are
magnificent. You're not your past andyou are right here, right now,
and if you're hearing this and you'refeeling this, you got work to do
and we need you and want youto show up in your life. There's
a there's one thing and closing that'sbeautiful, that I really believe in signs
and there was a book about,you know, signs, as you as
you well know. But man,there's so many signs that you are going
to arrive today, you know,for me, and even though it was
supposed toppy for all of you andall my listeners interviewers, I think kind
of selfishly, I'm going to makethis one. This was for me,
and for me to be able tohave the ability to share it with all
of you on my platforms is justan honor, you know. So,
you know, whatever you have inyour life, be honored with it and
grateful for it, because it canexpand it any moment. As long as
you're really feeling grateful for what youalready have, there's so much more you
can get. Hmm, meaning someonelike you is my gift today. Thank
you, thank you, really pleasurehow much