Danielle Staub, Absolutely : Dating Talk with Adam Cohen-Aslatei

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Tune in this week as Danielle sits with S'more founder Adam Cohen-Aslatei. Danielle tried the dating app out, did it work?

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Danielle Staub, Absolutely
Welcome to 'Danielle Staub, Absolutely', the only podcast on the internet hosted by television personality & entrepreneur, Danielle Staub. Join us every week as Danielle and her friends share candid conversations around topics that matter most.From Straw Hut Media

Episode transcripts

Straw media. So today I havea guess that I'm really excited to have
on. I was on his show, I think, earlier in the month,
and now I'm bringing him on mypodcast. So I'd like everyone to
welcome Adam from smores date. Hi, yes, so nice to meet you,
nice to see how you do it. Good. How are you,
honey? You know, just enjoyingthe beautiful Summer Day New York City.
Cannot Complain now. I mean thetemperature today here is like beautiful. I
wish it was like this all yearround. Seventy five, seventy seven degrees.
I'm good, and I mean one'soutside walking around and ready to make
out again. So we're ready forthe summer of love. Pent up demand
for romance, Right, Oh myGod, I mean I don't know where
to begin with that, but Ithink we'll say my story. Yes,
you and I have gotten to knoweach other pretty rapidly through me signing on
for the APP and you helping meand suggesting that maybe we would be able
to help me find love there.So I think that, for anyone who
is listening or watching, the goodnews is I love the concept, the
concept of not being able to seesomebody and really having to use your imagination
and running with it was, Ithink, brilliant. A lot of the
men didn't think so, but Idon't talk to them anyway. Let's be
fair. These men were dying forDanielle. She's being honest. They were
messaging her like crazy, even thoughthey couldn't see her face, they heard
her voice and she got dms onour act like crazy because her voice was
sultry, seductive, and what mandoesn't want to hear Danielle's voice on my
right? Well, I don't know. I mean I appreciate that and I
think I think there's a there's there'sroom for improvement on everyone's voice. I
don't think anyone likes their own voice. Let's be fair and let's be honest.
But if you're saying that they were, they were identifying with me because
they heard my voice, I thinkthat's super cool. I think it's great
and I think you should have alot of traffic driven to you because you've
been nothing but genuinely kind towards meand trying to, you know, help
me get rid of the stigma.It's not even a perception any longer.
It's a stigma that the house wifeof put on me not to cut on
them, because that I don't know. I know you work with a lot
of the ladies, but for meit hasn't been beneficial for my love life.
So what do you suggest for someoneout there that doesn't have a public
perception? Our stake mom, butwhen they meet men, they're not sure
where or or woman they're not surewhere to begin. How would you guide
them? You know what I thinkdating has become over the last ten years,
and dating apps over the last tenyears has become so superficial. We
sway headshots for four, five,six, seven years. And the problem,
I think, with dating APPS,and by the way, I've worked
for most of them. I've actuallyrun a lot of them as well.
Oh, lit's before I started.More so I want to hear a few
of those and not to advertise.If it's advertising, forget it. Yeah,
so no, I worked for companiesthat include the meet group Zeus,
and I was the managing director ofChappie, which is bumble's gay dating APP.
So I worked really closely with WhitneyWolf, who built out bumble,
to develop a new concept for thegay community. The whole group was sold
to blackstone in two thousand and nineteenand I started score. And the reason
I start it's more. Actually,it's an interesting story. I was on
the beach in Mexico, sipping probablya Margharita, because I love a skinny
Margharita, and I met a womanand she was a millennial and she was
African American, she was curvy,she was beautiful and she told me that
I ruined her life and I said, girl, you don't even know me,
like, come on, this isa housewife comment. I ruined your
life. You don't even know whatI am. And she said she thinks
the dating APPs were designed to fail. She said, Adam, I know
exactly how to air brush my photos, what's right in the perfect message and
what to include my bio to makesure that a man responds to me.
But the problem is I'm forced tolead with the five sexiest percent of who
I am and by the time Icatch these guys up to the other ninety
five percent, they're just not interested. So why is it so superficial?
Why can't someone fall in love withall of me, my curves, my
hips, my personality? Why canI be real on dating APPS? And
she said every time I'm real,I lose. I lose in this game.
So I went back to my hotelroom and I said, oh my
gosh, if you look at allthese dating apps, every single one of
them is encouraging people to make decisionsbased on a little bit more than a
Selfie. And there's no way thata Selfie is going to tell you enough
about a person because oftentimes they're airbrush they're outdated or there's someone else's photos.
So if you're truly looking for love, and I'm in really truly looking
for love, you've got to givea shot. You got to give love
a shot. You've got to delaythis concept of judgment and get to know
a person first, because often timeson these APPs were missing great matches and
we're just swiping by looking at headshots. Don't care that he's a lawyer
and a great man and a loverand a fighter and whatever. You're literally
looking at a head shot and alot of men don't take great headshots.
So where are we right? Whereare we? I mean, they don't
really have to be at to behonest with you, because they feel this
is what I feel and you cancorrect me if I'm wrong, and then
I want to hear the rest ofthat story because my heart bleeds for her
and maybe this will help her aswell. Men want us to be perfect
and they want to be less thanperfect until all of a sudden they make
the perfect girl and then they don'tknow what to do with her anyway.
So don't worry. Whoever this personwas that you met in Mexico was sipping
your Margarita. Honey, I thinkyou're perfect, perfect just the way you
are. Don't are brush, don'ttry to keep up and follow the rules
of Adam, because he's going totell you and instruck you how to get
a round that hole. I liketo call it a stigma of what's put
on women and the necessities that areput on women. I can't stand that,
but we'll get into that in aminute. Well, also, you
know, as someone who's used,you use a couple dating APPs, you
know, sporadically, but but youknow why you do? Men think it's
okay to say to a woman,send me your picks, what's your phone
number? Here's my Dick, likeshe isn't one any of that stuff.
I mean, I think the past. If they can send me their Dick
Picks, they just send them,full videos, full showers, full whatever.
I still get them and I gotto feel like it's diaper changing time,
like everyone needs to just like what'slet me. It's just not.
It's softcore porn or it's some casesit's hardcore porn. And, by the
way, there's nothing wrong with phenography. Like, if you're going to be
with someone, you're going to seethem eventually. But if you want to
be in a relationship, you're nevergoing to win by lying about who you
are. And I think what happensis oftentimes you feel as pressure to be
someone who you're not, and becausein social media you have an instagram and
you can curate your whole life life. But ultimately, if you want to
get intimate with someone, they're goingto quickly realize who you are and all
that time wasted on trying to besomeone who you're not will be wasted.
So, instead of wasting time tryingto chat with a hundred men, chat
with to guys who really like youfor you, who love your curves,
Love Your Voice, also want totravel to Fiji, love the fact that
you're covid nineteen nurse and appreciate allthe people sacrifice that you've done. I'm
just saying yes, yes, exactly, and you know what, we just
as an industry and someone who's anexecutive in the industry, we need to
all do better. You know,we can't be okay with having twenty percent
of our audience being catfishers. WhoWins when you're chatting with a catfish?
No, would win. And nowwant the technology to remove all those catfishers.
And we should be removing catfishers.I don't smore. You don't see
catfishers because everybody is verified. Solook, I understand we all want to
look at hot guys and Hawk girls. Totally right. Magazines, sex cells
are up. Initially isn't sexy,unless you think that voice is sexy,
which it is. It it givesways a chance vibration. They can go
on if you really just close youreyes and listen, if you can hear
everything. The people with their eyeswide open don't hear. Yes, and
I you know, I don't knowhow much you want to talk about your
experience once more. It didn't endthe way you wanted it to. I
want to have you have the lead. Way, okay, so we talked
about it. Absolutely. Okay.So, guys, so Danielle. I
convinced yell. I said, look, that now we have a lot of
housewives and Bravo celebrities once more,and the reason that they liked more is
because, you know, I liketo be a little bit removed from those
you know put in that category because, honestly, I'm really I stand alone.
I'M gonna say they about myself andif I don't, somebody else will
say something different. So I thinkI stand alone and I'll comfortable with that.
I know what exactly exactly, butwhat I what I mean by that
is that there's high profile people whoalso find it challenging to day you and
I'm a normal person, right.Danielle is not a normal person meeting that.
She's a high profile woman trying todate. She's just a normal person.
She wants love, but she can'tgo on any of these APPs and
use her normal photo because she's goingto get a zillion people who are thirsty
and one to date her because she'sfamous. But I'm smore, she is
not shown, people cannot see herphoto, so she's able to form these
deeper connections initially before her photo isrevealed, and hopefully there's an emotional connection
that is there. So so Iconvinced Daniel I should love. You're looking
for love and you want a guywho lay likes you, loves you for
you. So you can't go ona regular dating APP. It's Covid,
so it's hard to meet people inthe real you know, in the real
world. So go once more andlet me introduce you once more to some
people who I think that you wouldbe interested in. And so Daniell started
using some more and she started tohave some great conversations and we were gossiping
behind the scenes because I wanted toknow what she thought about guy a and
guy be and guy see, andshe's like, you know, initially she
was having these amazing conversations that shereally didn't expect to have, and some
of them got so wound, tobe honest with you. Yeah, she
was overwhelmed. Literally every guy wantedher and they still didn't know who she
was. They were this just therebecause they wanted love, well, most
of them, most of them.And so Danielle's all of a sudden having
these really deep conversations and she didnot expect, and if I'm putting words
in your mouth, definitely correct me, but she was having these really deep
conversations and didn't expect to go intothis experience finding anyone. And she connected
with one or two guys on adeeper level, but this one guy had
this really strong emotional connection with herand they took that. They took that
conversation your heart. Your hearts complicated. Yeah, and they took that connection
offline and before she before she did, she said, Adam, I really
like this guy with a lot incomment and we're going to do a blurred
video date on smore and we're goingto really see if we like each other.
Well, she broke our APP becauseshe was on the video date for
so long that the video shut off. Is that all? What happened our
first conversation and that was our shortest. Okay, so who meets a guy
from a dating APP is in ona threehour call with the APP? No,
no one ever does that. Soshe's invested with the sky, she's
having conversations, she's taking it offthe APP and on text and she's revealing
her really deepest secrets to this guy, I think, and he's doing the
same and everything looks great and I'mplanning, guys, I'm going to get
my license I'm going to become aminister. I'm officiating this wedding in two
weeks. Danielle stab has found hermen on smore. Who would have fuck
it. And I'll pause there becauseyou can, you know, tell the
rest of this or I can tellrest, but it's your story. I
would be happy too. So let'scall this character am so he and I
continued. I didn't ever start aconversation. I waited and I told him
that from the beginning when he said, well, here's my number, let's
you go ahead and calm me,when he was trying to be polite,
and I said none, no,lating never calls a guy first. I
mean I want, I know youwant to talk to me. It doesn't
mean I'm always going to be available, but you'll figure out how to ask
me if I am, if it'simportant. If it's not, then I
don't feel foolish for trying to thinkthis is something that it's not, because
to me I'm extremely intimidated by theidea of someone not getting to know me
before their friends try to introduce whatit is they feel they know about me,
which is nothing. So I wasa little hesitant and he called right
away. And we stayed on thephone that call, I think it was.
Yeah, it was. It wasjust shy of five hours. It
was a little over four and ahalf hours. Felt like five minutes.
Is like four o'clock in the morning, and neither one of US could go
to sleep. We were excited andthe vibe was strong and this continued and
I started just no more. Justjust to interject one quick thing. This
guy from Austin, very big businessowner, super, super wealthy guy,
also had never used a dating out. So while dad yell and the sky
were chatting, she was we werechatting, I don't are chatting, and
she was like, I don't understandwhat he means by this. He's so
strange. Oh mighty with writers talkabout that. The first message that he
sent me was lovely. He's like, so, do you believe in love
at first sight? Ha, ha, ha, because you're blind to each
other and the way, how Idon't believe that love, in love at
first anything. I believe in emotionor connection at first whatever it is we're
doing. And he said, okay, did deeper. You can do better
than that, Daniel. Let's gobig shot, and I went for a
whole day. I thought about itand I was like, what the fuck
did that mean? Like all ofwas know what the Hell to say.
So I call Adam and I hadguidance and he pointed out, no,
he's just asking you to give more. This guy doesn't mean what you think
he means. I had to havea man's perspective because, you know,
women were very emotional and we're verylike in it, you know, we're
just tunnel visioned and whereas men arekind of like, I'm so here,
I'm so here, oh my God, there's a bird. Yep, Oh,
wait, easily distracted and not reallygood with words. So I really,
I really felt like frustrated and I'mlike, why is this guy affecting
me so much? I mean,it was literally one message and this is
the second message, and why isit this way? And so you told
me to answer maybe including, youknow, a little bit deeper. I
done deeper, and so I wentin and answered properly and he answered back
and I said, oh, bythe way, ignore my first response,
which was, you know what,I'm not interested in you. That's that
was fucking rude. I think that'sexactly what I said. And then I
went wait, did I mess up, I called you right away. That's
when I called you and I said, what did I read this wrong?
And then that's when you point itout that I may have. So I
apologized immediately. I said, listen, I might have taken that the wrong
way, and you know my myperson of interest, that that that I
talked to, explained that maybe youmeant to dig deeper and you wanted to
know more. So I bought theway. This is a good learning for
people that are listening, because weassume that we're talking to someone that's a
text or that knows how to text, that's good at it. I get
again, most guys say hi,hey or what's up and ask you to
send picks. Seriously on dating APPS, so you need to scowl that a
little bit for a few of them. Yeah, it's okay for the woman
to say hey, certain don't.Actually don't ever say sir, Hey Dude,
hey dude, thank you for yourmessage. I'm not going to send
you picks, but if you wantto get to know me and you want
to get to know them, I'mhappy to get to know a little bit
more about you. Like you,needs in wait, put them in their
place and really drive the conversation becauseunfortunately, in many times men are very
addicted to that instant gratification and whenyou don't give it to them, they
move on to the next. Butthen they were also always going to be
single. So you, as thewoman, you know bumble says, you
know women in the first move,but in the conversation you can drive the
conversation and tell the guy, hey, this isn't cool. If you truly
want to get to know me,ask me something about myself, because I
guarantee you, as a woman,if you sent that to the man,
he would say okay and ask youa question. But sometimes you really got
to put the guy in his place, and that's exactly what Dan Yell did
and what happened after that? Thenhe was like no, no, I
understand it's tough on here and Ithink that you know I'm interested and I
like your I like your profile alot and I like what you have to
say and I think we should tryto connect a little further. And so
I said, okay, but doyou mind if we just text a little
more on the APP and then wecould and we did that for quite a
few days and there were a numberof other men that I was beginning to
speak to and all I kep doingwas going back and into M's messages and
rereading them and really studying him.Every time I would get off with,
you know, talking to somebody else, I was just drawn back to m
and these other men were gorgeous andvery much applicable to what it is that
my needs are at the age thatI'm at and from what I want in
my life. And First Am amto backtrack a little bit. Adam,
you have to admit like, ifyou don't know what you want, it's
going to be difficult for you toguide anybody. But I knew what I
wanted. I still know what Iwant. I just I kind of think
that maybe before I get to thatanswer fully and get myself off track.
It's difficult out there. I'm notgoing to say it isn't. But this
letter M, Mr M, andI just began to to really blow each
other up and he was making myheart like, who just huge. He
wasn't like overcomplimenting me, he wasn'tsaying things about my body, and I
liked that. I loved that.I love that he would say words like
you know, I like your style, and he used words that I want
to have a conversation and one ofthe things that's my biggest turn on is
is somebody that's intelligent. I loveintelligence and that's something that I think he
and I matched on too. Iwant someone in to hellcome that turns me
on. What what other thing tobring up here to those people are listening?
Oftentimes, when you are on adating APP or just in life,
you have this sort of checklist ofall the qualities you want in a guy
and a girl, in a partner, and some of those, and oftentimes
so many of those, are sosuperficial. You know your body type,
your weight, what color hair youhave. Those physical traits actually aren't going
to be what connects you in arelationship. But what does last a lot
longer is those interests, like thosecommon core values, because attraction does grow
over time, but if you don'thave those common, poor emotional connections early
on, you won't have it.So Danielle was speaking to this guy and
this guy, I remember, herevealed to her that, oh yeah,
on the weekends he likes to golike hunt animals or kill birds, and
she was like, but Oh myGod. I'm not an activist, but
I kind of them because I'm ananimal lover. I have for I don't
really wear it, but if Iwanted to, I wouldn't have gone out
and hunted it to kill it.It's just something that I've had for thirty,
forty years. So I mean,I'm not selling it's not like but
this guy and the time may havedifferent. I don't know. I said
it's long as I don't have togo hunting with him, I guess we're
okay. You know, I don'tlook, you know, a house.
You're also yeah, we also receivewhen we don't know, that's something we
have a judgment about it. Whenyou know maybe he actually, you know,
kills pigeons and eats them or whateverit is he's using the food that
he's killing or whatever may be.And he may have had also different political
persuasion. But besides that, youreally connected on so many levels, childhood
levels, values levels. Both havekids. He had guys who had girls,
and the relationships with our axes,not not to like cozy. I
mean I don't want to be anybody'ssecond choice. If an ex wife calls
and I call it the same time, I expect my call to be picked
up on, not hers unless it'sabout the kids and it's a one,
God forbid. But I'm not goingto be with anybody that's going to have
children of age, of a certainage, that can dial the phone for
themselves, for their own father.Oh, I want a relationship with a
real man and this guy, eventhough he comes from a different, you
know, walk of life, therest of us, our lives seem to
have really completely like been parallel,like our wants are thoughts travel. Okay,
but but for I get ahead ofmyself, I have to I have
to give you the spoiler alert.So while Danielle I was literally going to
get my ministerial license to marry thesetwo, something happened and it did not
work out. But regardless of thatthing, that happened, and you and
then y'all can explain if she wantsto explain it. Her reaction was she
was devastated because she gave everything.She really opened up to the sky and
she was in too, but infairness, so did so did MR m.
He is well, totally. Itwas even across the board until until
he basically had said that other peoplegot involved. So if you're a man
and you're on a dating APP oryou're trying to meet the love of your
life, you better know that she'syou and her in that relationship. Until
your solid is fuck and you've gotthat foundation, it's built and built and
built. We had a foundation andit seems like we were together for months,
amount of time that we spent onthe phone together. But he was
so happy to, you know,go meet up with his friends and I'm
like, Oh my God, it'sso much fun. It's that I can't
wait to hear all about it.And silence crickets. And I called you
and I said something's wrong. Ifeel it, you know, and the
only thing that I asked with somebodyis get to know me, not the
perception of me that's put out byidiots that have never even lived a moment
in my life, in my reallife. Even those who have lived moments
in my real life have no rightto tell mine or anyone else's story.
It's my story to tell. Butbecause I am, you know, public
figure, there's been many people thatare bored with their own so they just
try to tell my story to makethemselves a name, and those stories end
up hurting me and a potential relationship. So when his he had this grand
smile on his face and is friendsnoticed it and he's like yeah, I
mean she's beautiful, she's this,and he showed a picture and they want
out. This is who she isand just you know, it's scared and
we spent an hour and a halfon the phone crying together. But there's
a moral to this story. Ifound the silver lining. So Danielle put
it her whole self out there,and so did he, to be fair,
he didn't. She she was devastatedbecause this should have been something more.
It should have lasted longer, ifnot gone all the way, and
something shifted and she said, look, I don't truly think I can do
this. When you put your wholeself out there so quickly and you love
hard and fast and something happens,you were tracked and you run the other
way and you never want to dothat thing again. But here's the thing.
What's the point of having a heartif you don't use your heart,
if you're leaving it in the cupboard, then you're not really experiencing what a
human emotion, which is sadness andmaybe other different emotions that you feel,
and it sometimes it requires having theseexperiences and kissing these toads to get to
your prints. But you have alearning experience from this now you understand those
questions to ask that maybe we're unclearand maybe you know he was. He
is clearly not the right person foryou. So I'm happy that this happened.
But you know, we need tomake ourselves roll vulnerable. We need
to go on these APPs and wecan't just say hi, hey, or
what's up. If you want arelationship, you better open up, and
the sooner you open up, thesooner you can understand if there's a connection.
Did you never get a response?I don't. I don't respond to
that. If you have something tosay to me, you're messaging me,
say it. Otherwise I have nothingto reply to. What am I supposed
to reply? Hi, I don'teven know you. So your first I
okay, bye. How's that?Exactly? Exactly Class I totally I told
agree that. Okay, but thenyell is also pride month. So what
do we do with what are youdoing for pride month, Brian Month,
I am celebrating everyone that's a partof a community that accepted me and still
does accept me, for all ofmy little scars and scabs and all the
stigmas out there. They don't care. Those are the people. You're the
people on the ground that I walkon, and I waive that flag proudly,
because pride, to me, shouldbe celebrated, no matter what time
of the year it is. I'mproud to be a part of pride.
Every year or so, I'm havingas many guests on my podcast and on
my shows to celebrate pride, andI will basically last week as well.
You reveal as well that you wereOh, I am. I. You
can never not be something once youare, and I've never been wishing of
it. I'm I'm bisexual. Imight not be into woman currently and I
don't think that I will be again, but I find woman to be extremely
beautiful and I hand out compliments whenthey're deserved, when a woman is showing
her essence and her beauty and sheproudly walks and struts. Yes, I
think that's gorgeous. And you identifyas bisexual. I do it. Bisexual.
Yes, it does not me.I'm, you know, rubbing up
against anybody. It just means Iand men find that to be very intimidated.
They don't know if loosed me toanother man or another woman, while
I'm like, well, nobody evenknows if we're going to make it to
tomorrow, so what's to worry about? Enjoy your time. Why has it?
But then, you know, eventuallymost men turn it into something nasty,
you know, because they might notunderstand. You know, as I
always say, I'm well understood inthe gay community because I am one of
you. I'm not a stranger.I am the original to walk and March
and pride all eight miles, youknow, in Manhattanan high heels, and
in high heels it is, yes, just like my you know, my
little gay booth told me. He'slike, if you're going to do this,
you're going to march, you're goingto do it, stellatos. I'm
like, Oh my God, I'mgonna be so tired now. Mind you,
the people that don't know a lotabout me, I have all right,
so on my feet. That's torture. But you know what, I
didn't feel I stopped, but Ifelt it for the next three to four
days after. But I will doit every time proudly, because pride to
me is the safe place that Iwent when my childhood took a turn for
the worst and I needed to takerefuge. I took refuge in the pride
in the pride community. I lovethat. Well, you know, we
are doing some really cool things.That's more for pride, of of course,
I'm also part of the LGBTQ community. Although smare is for everyone,
anyone who's looking for something that's moresubstantial, our APP is made for those
people. But that's more. Weactually think about dating differently. So on
most dating APPS, if you're fromthe Lgbtq community, you often feel like
an afterthought. So if you're ona mainstream being APP, you kind of
feel like the APP wasn't really madefor you. But they have a couple
different features, but it doesn't feellike home. So we want to make
sure that we were creating APP thatfelt like home from day one. So
we have this concept on our APPcalled something more. So if you don't
identify with the norms of society,whether that's, you know, man woman,
we also like you to choose somethingmore right, if you don't identify
with the boxes that society gives you, that's cool, in fact that's better
than cool, and you can chooseto be something more on some more.
You can also choose to be attractedto, you know, women to men
or end to something more. Sowe really want to empower the Lgbtq community
to be their whole self and bringtheir whole self to the dating APP.
It's not just about being out andproud at work and in your friendship group.
If you truly want a romance,if you truly want love, you
cannot hide your sexuality in your relationship. You've got to be honest with yourself
and you've got to be honest withyour partner. So start by making your
profile truly reflective of who you are, the things that you like, the
things that you're not really interested in, and then you will definitely be attracting
the right type of person. Alsosuper interesting. We just shot a commercial
with Amazon in honor of cry that'sa when does that? Is it up
and airing? Yes, so it'sa digital commercial. It came out yesterday
and the whole concept behind the commercialis really supporting leaders from the LGBTQ community
and also shining to light on thefact that only one percent of all funding
for startups, which is in thehundreds of billions of dollars per year.
What less than one percent, goesto LGBTQ leaders when the returns on investment
for LGBTQ leadership is sometimes ten timesthat of a heterosexual leader. So not
had to forget. I have witnessedsome forty, fifty year marriages. Not
In the heateral sexual world anymore.It's all in the in the you know,
my my even my coach for acting, he and his husband, I
mean, may Peter Rest in peace. He and Scott both Broadway buffs.
These were my acting coaches, youknow, renaissance, Sara down. They
were together forever. And I thinkthere's their long term relationships lead to long
term business relationships. To what Ihave to say, I've meant more successful
gay men than I have straight andall it's it doesn't just stop at the
met either. It's the they're verysuccessful and in their own rights. You
know, that's you know, Ifound that's kind of interesting and I'm so
curiously at your take on this.I find that, you know, for
so many years, right up untilI think two thousand and eight was it,
the gay marriage was a legal inthis country. So we invented this,
I know, round through that.I mean I had to sneak in
people into hospice that have been togethereven my best friend, I you know,
who was in season one with meTommy when he wanted these restaurantier he
was with. It was his partnerand they were together for years and he
was dying. So I'm like,I'm his sister and this is his brother
and I got him in me.I had to get him in. Why
can't he be in there? Whycan't he be just sitting with the man
that he loves? If this wasa heterosexual relationship, they wouldn't have even
said a thing. But back inthe day, if you were gay in
any walk of life, they werenot letting you in. You wouldn't let
you share it insurance. If youwere together seven years, which is,
you know, common law, theywon't let you share anything, whereas heterosexual
you get it all, you canhave anything you want. It's double standard
and I don't like it and I'vebeen a part of both worlds for a
very long time and I get sickto my stomach over it. And so
much still needs to be done.But you know what's interesting is I feel
like the the gay community champion thisconcept of open relationships because we couldn't get
married, we couldn't make a publicdeclaration in that way that we were together.
So this concept of, you know, open relationship, I believe,
started within the gay community. Now, again, this is just my experience,
but I have since marriage of quality, since gay marriage is legalized,
I'm seeing a lot more of theLGBTQ community want to get married, be
excited to get married and stay married. But what I'm also finding a lot
of my straight friends, a lotof my heterosexual relationship friends, are now
experimenting with open relationships, and nowthe gay community is really interested in monogamy.
Do you also find that, oris that just with my crazy group
of friends? One hundred percent Ido, and I find it to be
set relating because I I can't wrapmy head around it because I'm a part
of both. So I kind oflike try to balance it and say,
you know what, it's just somuch more. It's more full. In
the gay community the relationships are becauseyou had to work so hard to get
your rights, you know, ourrights. I should just speak the way
I should be speaking, whereas ina heater, real sexual marriage that I've
had, you know, a coupleof it's easy. You can run out,
get your license, get married andyou know what it ends faster than
the wind blows or the are thesun goes down, and that literally happened
to me too. But I thinkthat the more you have to work at
something, the more you are appreciateit, and I think that's why we
in the gay community have had toendure all of the because I've been in
relationships with with women that, youknow, I thought I was definitely going
to marry. I was, Iwas totally interested in and being in just
that relationship. But just like anyother relationship, be a gay or not,
something came up, something went wrongand that ended. It was and
about it being like not it forbidden. It wasn't about it being forbidden fruit
that I wanted it so badly.It was I enjoyed this company of this
person, and the person just happenedto be the same gender that I am,
and I was is down on aboutthat as as men are. Do
you really ever see the day whena real housewife franchise has a transgender character
such as and I've been petitioning AndyKhan for this for a while. I
feel like ts Madison needs to beon the real housewives of Atlanta, a
personality you cannot beat. She's abulldozer. She's amazing, super inspiring and
she's from the transgender community. Ifeel like she I think someone from the
community is needing. But she reallywant to go on the house was because
you know, they can chew youup pretty too bad. Yeah, but
but ts massin also can chew.So you know, I think that she
would do it. I would tellyou what, if I were interested,
which I'm not, in ever returningto that housewise I'd take her right along
with me because, you know what, I'd love to have someone standing like,
someone like her standing next to me. Let them talk then, because
you know, they have shunned mefor calling them out, for using the
effort. I was the first personto take anyone to task on there.
I can't tolerate that. I can't. I can't hear it. It's the
worst language in the world coming fromignorant people, and that kind of added
me with my cast. But Ididn't care, I mean, not out
in me like here. I am. I'm you know, I'm gay.
It was I had that relationship,but you know, with using gains,
do these again, these against you, right, what did they did?
They don't understand it, and nowthey're all pretending that they're gay icons.
No, motherfucker, I'm a gayon coon me. Hello. Sorry,
I mean I have a housewife franchise. I have to say I was the
first loudest about it and I wearthat probably. And what I think of
all the diversity that they're adding intohousewives? Do you think too little,
too late? Are you proud ofit? DO THEY FIT in? What's
your take on that? Now?I think the diversity was probably needed a
long time ago, especially in theJersey and because randle's fibe has been gone
as long as you know. GENDAFrino's died in long ago. That very
long and believe me it it's realbrutal Jersey. Compared to most it's just
not the same. They have thatwhole family mentality, whereas the rest of
the franchise they meet when they startto show. So I think the diversity
is welcome and I think it wasnecessary because there's only so many metals we
control to make it. That's whattrue. Okay, what about a real
housewife show? That's a that's aspinoff, that's like the real housewife.
that the or x's of the realhousewives. Pretty one. Yet and I
lose off the show, like theogie's who are not on anymore. I'll
stop up. Forget about the onesthat are still. We already know them,
but the ones that aren't on thisshows are usually the more interesting characters.
anyways, throwing those guys on anEyelivelyun lock in maybe leaks, maybe
get some van or pump some ofyou. What about that? They're all
day. That we do is long. Who is that? Yeah, I'd
like needing there too, maybe.And I go back. We go back
and she's you know, she's astand up girl. She's got her defences
up just like me and I thinkshe's been through a lot of the similar
things as me and she's just soshe's huge character and a huge presence.
I love her, Vicki came ratherso many great, great characters that would
do so well together. Vicky's mygirl. So that's all day. Now
she's the og of the ogist.You know, she started the whole guys
and they all said to me lastyear when I resigned and twelve of them
on, the eleven after me werefired. I was appalled. I said,
Nicky, you of all people didnot deserve that. You know,
you should have been given like anotice. So you could have bowed up
graciously, but they just like that, you know. So I think if
it were on any other network itmight be really successful. Otherwise it's just
going to look like every other showon there. And I think they should
throw in a lot of the gaycommunity, not just a few, a
lot. There's a lot of character. So basically, any network that's listening
or streaming service that wants to pickup the ex housewives spinoff show, I
throw them on an island, smallway there all day long. You tell
us what you need. It wouldliterally be the would be fire. It
would be fire because show that wouldtake over Netflix, Amazon, any of
the streaming because you could just sitspins watch it all day, every day
and it where you are. AndTrust me, we would really put out,
really put out, because we'd havethe freedom finally to just be us.
And isn't that what's most important?It's just being able to be you
and tell the true story. I'dlike everything to be shot live. That
way, don't hurt people, becauseif I got live and use live footage,
they wouldn't have ever had to twistthe story the way they did.
And I'm sure I'm not the onlyone that feels that way in the franchise.
So there's a lot well that theirstories were twisted and as painful for
them. I'd like to be apart of that. That would make me
proud. That's like a coming out, coming in again. You now and
girls kissing girls. That's that's absolutelyfine. I think it's a time to
experiment and a time to be unedited, just like our photo is just like
us. We should just be unedited. Also, can Danielle stub and Dina
Lohan do the simple life spinoff aswell, because I kind of want to
see you on a road trip withher friend. I love her so much,
I think, and it was mostshocked about that when I was on
the Lindsay so when I said,Oh, yeah, I just touched your
mom, she's like what, youknow my mom? I got, yeah,
probably, do you know? Igo so far back, and I'll
tell you that story another time,and a mansion in the Hampton's and when
I tell you it was it wasin a mansion. It was a castle,
but the character that owns a castof he wears a cake. We'll
talk about that another it's okay.You also need to tell Dina Lohan to
do our some more live show,because she's not been she responded to me.
Until she's responding to I'll text her, I'll text her teller. But
you know what I'll do, I'llask you if I could put her in
a group chat with you. Yes, and then I'll hook you up.
Don't worry, I got you.We like that. We love that.
We're big Dina Lohan pass here.Great. She doesn't trust very easily,
so she's probably just a little apprehensiveabout it, but what a warm hearted
woman she is and she raised thosekid. I don't care when anyone says
when you do it on your own, nobody should judge kid. She's a
good yep, and I want toI want to say like, as far
as this APP experience was for me, it lit me up and made me
realize I have feelings that I haveyet to even have discovered. I still
find it really difficult to trust,like Mr M was, you know,
opened me up to be able toconverse someone and feel warm and fuzzy with
someone, but taking it to thenext level, I think I changed my
heart outs. What is it?Deal breaker on the APP from narcissistem which
you know hate that to a manthat could think. Can't think for himself.
Like have your own mind. Men, when you're out there, you're
looking for the right girl. GuessSquot were more than just a bidy in
a pretty face. We literally sorryabout that. Are you back? Sorry
about that. I really want more. We want some more of everything.
So we're well right, well wellrounded. Be well rounded as well.
Don't just look at us like meat, because that isn't going to get you
anywhere with a woman like myself,unless you're just looking to get laid.
Then I think Adam could suggest yougo to another APP, but this is
about Finn Love, and if youdon't know what you want, you probably
should didn't go on this APP becauseyou're going to be asked to explain who
you are, which means you gotto have to know who you are.
And in order or explain who youare, you have to know what you
want, because it all falls togetherand I'm not going to lie you,
helping me fill that out was probablythe best thing I've ever big, you
know. But here's the thing forthose people who don't have me, and
if you want to email on me, you can email on me, but
you know you don't always need ame to help you fill out your profile.
I would say to the ladies,so the guys out there, have
your best friend help you fill outyour bio, because it's a really personal
thing and if the bio reads likea linkedin profile, no one's going to
message you. It's a bore andI roll. But when you tell me
that you like eating, you know, pastronomy, tacos and skinny Margaritas and
your dream vacation is, I don'tknow, matth you Pechu and doing a
hike or something like that, that'sinteresting, that's unique and that lets you
stand out. So be really whoyou are, because at the end of
the day, dating APPs shouldn't bean ego boost. You shouldn't look at
collecting matches or looking at the numberof lights you have. It's really a
means to get into relationship. Soreally, the more authentic you are,
at least on an applex more,the better you'll do, the more dates
you'll have. But when you startto be someone that you're not, and
it's tempting for sure, I meanevery other APP doesn't write linkedin. INSTAGRAM's
are attempting to kind of inflate whoyou are. You're not going to attract
the right person for you. Soif you can be real with yourself,
you will find love once more.I believe that to be true. I
think, though, the the oppositeof Mr M was the one MR B
will call him. First message was, I don't know about you, but
I hate APPs, dating APPs.So and this one is bullshit. It
can't even see each other. SoI'm going to send you a bunch of
messages, you send me a bunchof messages back so we can see each
other. And I went. Well, the main reason I'm here is because
the purpose of the ad that Igo. Well, then you probably don't
want to hear any of the restof what I have to say, but
I'm gonna do it anyway. I'mgonna do it your way and I'm going
to guarantee you're going to love whatyou see. But I'm not interested already.
So here you go. Also,if any of your listeners, and
this is edited into the actual podcast, if you DM US on Instagram,
we will grant you guys premium fora week of or July. So make
sure you're listening to you Danielle's podcastand then DM US on instagram that you've
heard about it on Danielle's podcast andwill gift you premiums. You a full
access to every feature that we have. It's more so you can help connect
with the right person fast. Whatdo you have for the Lbgt community?
What are you going to give them? And you're going to give them the
same premium. Yes, everybody getspremium. JUST DM US on instagram.
So you heard about us on Danielle'spodcast and I will give you premium for
a week once more, so youcan yet and track with Everyonet, meet
more people faster. I just don'twant to forget both of my you know
my communities, because everybody deserves achance to find love, and I believe
that you're on just something. Ilike being blind to not being able to
see anybody, and I liked Iliked it. It got my heart going
and it really got creative. Sojust be prepared to be your true self
and I think wouldn't you agree?Anyone can nail it if you just genuine
to you you now. You don'twant to. Some want you for just
looks and appearances. That's easy.Anyone can do that. Dig Deeper,
Huh. There you go, MrAm literally dig deeper and also, for
those of you are listening, makesure you go to smore date. SMART
apts more date on instagram. Sothat's our handle. We also have a
celebrity dating show, and so Daniellewas on our celebrity dating show of the
hundred and ten episodes. So youliterally can watch your favorite like what your
favorite celebrities talk about their craziest datingstory. You can hear Danielle's craziest dating
story. You can play dating gameswith your favorite celebrities and find out they're
useful dating tips. Why it's coolis because a lot of the single celebrities
that we interview are actually on smalland they talked to regular people because they're
also just looking for love just likeyou are. So make sure you check
out at some more date handle oninstagram and watch all of your favorite celebrity
dating videos. Can I ask youone question before you go? I want
to know our most celebrities like myselfand want to date outside of their own,
you know, industry, or arethey important interested on APP by average,
in staying in their own community,which they could be more well understood?
Because I'm going back and forth withthat and I'm maybe I might want
to try that dating within my ownindustry, just because no one would give
a shit what other people are sayingbecause it's being said about them too.
So I thought, are you?You're in a unique situation because you're what
have. The media has painted youhas not been great as a right,
and so for other personalities from Bravo, other subs of interviewed, they've been
treated just better. They've just beentreated about. Yeah, so they don't
have the same kind, I hateto use these words, they don't have
the same as a baggage. Idon't know, I don't know, that's
not the right word. They don'thave the same stuff coming into it.
So I think said for perception,they are looking for the right person,
regardless of age, regardless of income. They want to find love and they
cannot use Danny outs right, evenif these celebrities go to Riya. We
have more celebrities on some more thanthey have a Riya, because I'm Riya.
You See, every three second swipehas been affleck. Yes, he's
there. He's not dating anyone reallyfrom that APP and women who've gone on
dates with him from that APP hasnot worked out. He's back with Jalo.
It's just kind of looking and stockingcelebrities. But if you truly want
to be in a relationship, you'regoing to use an APP focus on relationship.
So they do find really great success. We have housewives from New York
on our APP, we have peoplefrom below deck on our APP and we
have tons of people from the WWE, women from the WWe Wrestling Federation on
our ass well, hard for themto day. So yeah, and I
have to say, you know,my age has been really cut off at,
you know, fifteen years older thanmy oldest which she's twenty seven.
So you can do the math.But after watching Tina turners document, I
can't like my my queen like Iher story is like my story and being
tortured and all the you know,sexual abuse, and it just hurt.
The parallels are just they're mind bottling. I cried when I watched it last
night and I have to say I'dforgotten that she went with a younger man,
you know, after her her agent, you know, her rep had
him drive her from the airport andI think she's just so she's okay with
it and her kids are the sameage as me. So I think it
might be something that I might wantto consider, because maybe they don't have
that bag each already, and maybeI shouldn't be so nervous about somebody because
if they really love me the wayTina Turner was loved by her husband and
still is, there's still together,who am I to say no? I've
had men approached me that are doctorsin their s and they've just over the
years asked me repetitively, but Ijust say no because I think, oh
my God, you know, whatam I going to do with so younger
than me? You know, whoknows? You don't know once you try.
I'm meeting your guy, maybe thirtyfive years old and looking at you
right now, probably not, butyeah, you never know. I'm also
we need the petition to get youon either big brother or dancing with the
stars, because, first of all, why are you on big brother already?
Be Like you be the perfect personfor big brother, and acting with
the Star said Guy, as weneed to be doing things that I have
have gone on my backthrop story.There's a lot of people that are counting
on me to be the one that, you know, makes a difference so
they can say now Danielle's okay,like I'll be I have a lot of
fans that really need me to beseen for who I am. Dancing with
the stars would clear up all thatperception. So out I'm going to vote
for that. But Hey, ifthe money's good, a big brother,
I might just try that. Youknow, both do both is right.
Adams here mouth to God's ears orthe network's ears. Let's see what we
can do here. But the perceptionwill change, and I want people to
believe if you're having a hard timefinding love or feeling like you deserve love,
just go on smrs, because itwill lighten you up and make you
feel better and you won't find yourselfnonsensically talking to somebody that's going to go
nowhere with it. Everyone that,I truly believe, for the most part,
are looking for something more, youknow, than just you know,
swipe good, get to chat.You don't need your ego boosted. I
mean Kan just need to find loveand they get your ego boosted. Yeah,
your ego will be boosted when youfind the one. Guys, yeah,
that's important. I should person tolook at you this certain way,
and that's the only person that willmatter from that moment on. I thought
I had found mine. I'm alittle shy right now because I don't feel
that he's out there still, butyou know, you'll keep me believing that
someone is there. And I thinkall of you need to understand your important
enough and you're perfect just the wayyou are. So just be you,
don't try to be anything else thanyou, and your truth will be seen
by the right person as well.Love that. Yeah, so thank you
so much for sharing all of thiswith me. I know you have a
heart out today. I don't wantto take up too much more of your
time, but I've just say thisexperience for me has been really enlightening and
sharing it with my kids felt likesomething that was easy to talk about,
because it's not a typical APP.You know, it's it's more. It's
way more, and ie the name. It's more. It's the abbreviation of
something more. I believe I neverasked you that, but is that what
it stands for? You got it, you got happy because so many people
have been. What what is thatlike? It's Moore, is like,
eat them with the Hershey and theGraham crackers in the marshmallows. I'm like,
no, I don't think that's whatit's about. I think more and
they abbreviated it because that's what wedo now in this era. We abbreviate
cute. It's very cute. It'scute. You have the quality sign inside
the logo as well. You alsohave a chat icon, which is the
marshmallow, because, without conversation,conversation communications the glue that hold your relationship
together. So what we do atsome more is very intentional, from the
brand to all of the marketing coolthings and from things that we do.
So definitely give it a world.Check it out. I promise you you
will not regret it, but putyour all into it. The more you
put in, the better your resultswith me and and those are the words
to live by. And I promiseyou when we find something or someone for
me, we will update you.So if you don't hear anything, that
means it hasn't happened yet. Forthe Oh, Adam up with news about
me, but tim warning you rightnow. They probably will, as they
love me. That's all. Andif there's anyone out there listening to this,
that thanks. They're right. Forsomeone like myself or someone that Adam
may have on the APP or ismentioned here today, contact him by all
means and get yourself signed up andtry to meet that person you know.
You never know where it'll go.It could be something more today's. So
thank you so much for being heretoday with me, Adam. I look
forward to updates and I also lookforward to dinner tomorrow. Yes, calt
right, all right, will seeyou later. Love you lots. Be
Care of the guys. Don't wantto thank all of you for being here
and especially a special thanks to myguest Adam today. Be sure that you
not only check him out on somemore date APP but also go to my
podcast and click subscribe so we cantotally vie and I will see you soon
and every Monday new episodes right here